THE SURPRISING SCIENCE OF SEXUAL DESIRE THAT YOU CAN USE TO YOUR ADVANTAGE

One of the best things to happen in the life of a human is feeling desired by a person. Some of the sexual desires that you can use to your advantage are; classical conditioning and sexual desire, sexual conditioning and conditioning, and getting consent.

There are different types of sexual desires: spontaneous sexual desire, responsive sexual desire, and contextual sexual drive. The brain plays a big part in showing you are desired. It is the one that sends the signal you are being aroused and being desired. Humans can also be conditioned sexually. People associate what they are used to seeing with events that happen afterward. People are likely to associate red lipstick with having intimate sex with you if you are used to wearing it when seducing your man because their mind has associated the lipstick with you wanting to have intimate sex with them.

Types Of Sexual Desire

Spontaneous Sexual Desire

This type of desire shows up suddenly without any stimulation ( Basson, 2000). Mostly, men are the ones who are in the position of getting spontaneous sexual desire. It may be brought about by excitement and the desire to have sex; a person may get an orgasm even without that.

Responsive Sexual Desire

According to Pfaus et al. (2012), responsive sexual desire is a type of sexual desire that shows up when a person is stimulated and the body responds. It is brought about when your partner stimulates your vagina or penis, and it responds. Women respond to this desire more than men.

Contextual Sexual Desire

Contextual sexual desire is when the environment you are in or the circumstances influence you to get the desire to have sex. Most people fall under this type or a blend of responsive and contextual and responsive sexual desire. In instances where one has stressed the desire to have sex is out of mind as they have to deal with other issues.

Classical Conditioning and Sexual Desire

You are likely to be aroused when you are in the habit of doing things at a specific time and place when having sex or masturbating. People have a different type of song in the background when having sex. You get aroused when a song plays in the background when working or at an odd place. This is because your brain is programmed to relate the song with the events when you listen to it. People who masturbate while bathing or in the showers can get aroused whenever they are around a water body. Some people are used to having fun and getting turned on when they have makeup sex. They will look forward to fighting because their mind is made to think they will get turned on if they fight with their partner.

Sexual Conditioning

Men are more conditioned to feel the desire for sex. Women can also be sexually conditioned. Women are used to doing stuff in a normal sense, making their partners turn on sexually. A man can easily be turned on when a woman puts on makeup or applies lotion to their body (Herz, 2012). Men associate such activities with sex anytime they see their women doing them.

However, it is easy for women to be mentally aroused without illustrating their sexual desire. They can show their sexual desire without them being mentally aroused. It is difficult to tell if a woman is sexually aroused; unlike men, it is visible because their penises protrude outward when erect. You might get turned on when brushing your teeth if you are used to masturbating with a toothbrush. This is because your mind has been programmed to the situation you got turned on when masturbating with a toothbrush.

Elliott & Umberson (2008) noted that feeling the desire for sex does not mean you want sex. Your feelings crop up because your mind is sexually conditioned. You can push the thoughts away by thinking about something else or keeping yourself busy. You can masturbate and get it done with. You won't have the desire anymore.

Conditioning And Getting Consent

Sexual conditioning can bring fun to your relationship. You can try doing it on your partner without telling them and see if it works. While you have fun doing it, some people may find it evil and against the idea. Ensure you are on the right side, and try getting consent from your partner to ensure you are on terms with them. You can tell your man about the idea and know how they feel about it. Be clear with your man and tell them you would want to do it to them but do not be specific.

Your man knowing you are planning to do something to them will make it difficult to condition them sexually, although it may work.

Negative Effects on Sexual Conditioning

You may try to condition your partner, but the response you get is not welcoming. Some may have trauma from their previous partners. It may work against you if you sexually condition your partner by wearing a certain perfume to arouse them. Some may have been sexually abused by their ex-partners wearing the same perfume and may get irritated with you. It is why consent and communication are important.

You may sexually condition your partner by initiating sex as their previous partners, but they turn off although they wanted to have sex. Your partner may not have a problem with you but with their ex. What happened with their ex makes them switch off.

Conclusion

The state of your relationship is a part of sexual desire. It isn't easy to arouse your partner if you are not on terms with them. Focus on amending your relationship before arousing your man if you feel things are not working. You need to feel love and care for yourself to arouse your partner and vice versa. It might seem impossible to condition a new partner sexually because you do not know them. The good thing about this situation is you can try it on yourself.

References

Basson, R. (2000). The Female Sexual Response: A Different Model. Journal Of Sex &Marital Therapy, 26(1), 51-65.

Elliott, S., & Umberson, D. (2008). The Performance Of Desire: Gender And Sexual Negotiation In Long‐Term Marriages. Journal Of Marriage And Family, 70(2), 391-406.

Pfaus, J. G., Kippin, T. E., Coria-Avila, G. A., Gelez, H., Afonso, V. M., Ismail, N., & Parada, M. (2012). Who, What, Where, When (And Maybe Even Why)? How The Experience Of Sexual Reward Connects Sexual Desire, Preference, And Performance. Archives Of Sexual Behavior, 41(1), 31-62.

Herz, R. S. (2012). Perfume.