PHONE SEX FOR BEGINNERS: HOW TO DO PHONE SEX RIGHT!

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Tatyana Dyachenko
Psychologist and Relationship Adviser

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Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor

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Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

Do you know that you can have sex on the phone like a couple even if you're far away? Here is the right way to do phone sex; setting the stage, what to say, describe what's happening, describe a memory, dip into the fantasy, and give instructions.

If you're one of a long-distance couple, you would know why phone sex is for you. It has increasingly become popular among couples who spend most of their time apart. However, it can be tricky since some people do not know the basics or when to initiate it. Having sex on the phone is possible. However, it can be intimidating, but it doesn't have to be. If it goes all well, you might even have a great orgasm. Below are the best sex advice and tips for the rookies, the experienced, and the continually bored.

Setting the Stage

Here are the ways to prepare yourself and your partner for the phone sex session and the tips to get into it in a way that's comfortable for both of you.

Dress the Part

Think about setting up and dressing up for your sex phone sex session. Even though you can't see each other, it helps you get in the mood for the sexy talk ahead. Take time to put on something that puts you in the mindset for what comes. You can slip into your most sultry pair of underwear or get extra comfortable in sweats. It's up to you and what makes things right in your mind.

Get into the Mindset

The key to good phone sex is to have an open mind grounded in fantasy; you can talk about things you've been dreaming about because you're talking right. Staying relaxed is important; it's normal to be nervous about trying anything new your partner on the other side of the line wants to hear what you say.

Gauge Your Partner's Interest

According to Houck et al. (2014), sexting, sending nudes, and flirting over the text can be a good way to get into the mood and gauge your partner's interest in having phone sex and prepping you both for what's ahead. They act like foreplay, and you're not going from zero to 100. Hajare (2019) stated that foreplay makes sex interesting. After you set the stage with sexy photos, ask them if they would be interested in having phone sex.

Call Your Partner

You can start by calling them and take things from there. You'll steer the conversation towards phone sex by first asking about their surroundings and where they are. You can confirm that's a good time for them to talk. Adjust the conversation by asking how they feel, what they are wearing, or their location. Phone sex describes things; starting is simply a good way to begin.

Tips for Phone Sex

You don't have to adapt to some sex personality to have phone sex. It's a good way to play with sex, shame, and kink in a very safe way and fun. There's no pressure to change the usual sexual dynamic with your partner. If you're submissive, you can ask them to give you instructions, and vice versa if you're dominant. You don't need to talk dirty if you're not into it.

Describe What's Happening

Talk about what you're wearing, what you smell and look like, and how you're touching yourself. Be detailed about it and get into the moment. Once you've begun, don't be shy. Be vocal as you want to be. No one can see or hear you other than your partner. It's all about the two of you.

Describe a Memory

Defer your memories if describing how you feel doesn't feel enough. Talk about a time you had sex with your partner and describe what happened and how you did it as if they were in the room watching. You can move into what-ifs, what you would have done, and what I want to do next time.

Dip Into Fantasy Bank

Talk about the wonderful time to break into the fantasy bank; describe what turns you on but that maybe you wouldn't want to do in real life. You can have public sex in the library, park, or a fancy restaurant bathroom. Describe a sexual scenario like role play.

Give Instructions

Ask them to tell you what to do. Dictating how, when, and where your partner can touch themselves is a way to make things interactive. It helps with the flow of the conversation and introduces a dominant/ submissive dynamic that is fun for both of you. Some people find it hard to talk dirty on the phone.

Ask Them To Listen

You're not ready to talk, but you still want to phone sex; you're trying this with your partner and asking if they would like to listen to you masturbate. It's a great way to introduce your partner to phone sex without the pressure of performance on their end. Hand things to them, and ask them what they want to do; sometimes, all it takes is a little push in the right direction to get your creative juice flowing.

The end of phone sex is getting off for everyone, but it's important to know your boundaries and feel comfortable staying within them with your partner. Tell your partner they're for phone sex only if you describe fantasies. If your partner says you're making them uncomfortable or calls you names you don't like. Be clear about shutting this down. Decides on a word to say if you want things to shut down or continue. They won't continue to do things you've said no; you can hang up if they continue.

Things To Think About

Voice

You don't need to talk loud or quickly; you're not delivering a speech. If it feels natural, drop the tone and speak slowly; the sound of breathing is not heavy but noticeable; it can be erotic and clear that you're turned on.

Using Toys

Use a toy on yourself while you're talking; consider putting it on the phone, so they can hear what you're using. According to Döring (2021), sex toys add pleasure.

Laughing

Don't be afraid to laugh; the phone sex can be awkward. being silly with one another is a sure sign of a good relationship so let it flow

Conclusion

A good phone-sex session starts with an open mind and no expectations. You could have the hottest, sexiest experience ever, or you and your partner could burst out laughing. In any case, you've communicated and tried something new together, and you've determined whether this is a situation you want to try again or pass on.

You can be on camera the entire time in the age of high-speed video. Try FaceTime sex or another app of your choice.

There is no phone sex technique that you must try. It's all about experimenting, discovering your interests, and exploring with your partner. When you do it well, your partner will become completely addicted to it, willing to do anything for phone sex.

References

Döring, N. (2021). Sex toys. Encyclopedia of sexuality and gender. Cham, Switzerland: Springer.

Hajare, R. (2019). Non-Medical Basis Characterization of Orgasm Associated with Approach Sex Can Last up to 20 Seconds to 15 Minutes, Eligible Women Individuals' Poor Transportation Facility of Private Pharmacy Institutions in Pune, India. Open Acc J Oncol Med, 3(3).

Houck, C. D., Barker, D., Rizzo, C., Hancock, E., Norton, A., & Brown, L. K. (2014). Sexting and sexual behavior in at-risk adolescents. Pediatrics, 133(2), e276-e282.