SEX CONVERSATIONS COUPLES NEED TO HAVE TO IMPROVE THEIR SEX LIFE
Some couples have problems concerning their sex life. They fail to have pleasurable sex causing instability in their relationship. Herein are conversations couples need to have to improve their sex life, including; talking about safe sex, your desires, when to talk about sex, picking a natural place, avoiding talking about post-sex issues, and understanding your sexual style.
Sex problems or sexual satisfaction are the major issues that cause most couples to end their relationships. Moreover, it is a huge cause of marital distress because either the partner or both partners are not satisfied with the other. You can decide to seek counseling from mature people or a marriage counselor to save the relationship. Quitting the relationship is not an option. Some of the problems that married couples face can be solved easily by having a simple conversation. Although marital distress is a common problem couples face, talking the problem out with your partner is one way of relieving yourself from your predicament. The conversations don’t have to be between partners alone. Sharing your views with a stranger online can be relieving since you will open up without holding back anything, which is unlikely when talking directly with your partner. That's why sexual issues are normally discussed in online forums meant for the same. The conversations in the online relationship forum can cause anxiety, leading you to avoid them completely. Although that’s usually the case, you will realize that what you get is worth your effort.
Reasons To Talk About Sex With Your Partner
Research shows that couples with strong sexual communication or who are sexually satisfied have strong bonds. Mckay et al.(2009) noted that talking openly with your partner is the best way to relieve the pain. Look for the closest and most efficient solution if you are experiencing marital distress or any other sexual complication in your relationship.
Direct communication with your partner leads to great feelings of attraction and intimacy. They are the key factors to building a strong relationship. Talking openly and being honest with your partner may increase satisfaction, and you will realize that it helps in one way or another.
Topics to discuss with your partner to improve your sexual life include:
The following are some sex-related topics you can discuss with your partner to improve your sex life include:
- Desire to try something different and a unique
- Family planning
- Libido change
- Sexual dysfunction
- Reduced sexual satisfaction
- Lack of affection or intimacy
- Feeling rejected or always initiating sex.
Talking About Safe Sex
Practicing safe sex is vital if your relationship is open to others. You can ask your partner if they use condoms or other protective measures when having sex with other partners. Also, you must be honest with your partner about your practices. Wang et al. (2010) advised that you should know your partner’s status by testing for HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases before having unprotected sex. This enhances responsible and safe sex. Raising the issue of testing in a relationship with exclusive partners is easier than in a monogamous relationship because it raises fidelity questions. You may open up to your partner if you've had sex outside your relationship. Some find it difficult to speak to their partners, but you can trust a mature friend to help.
Talking About Your Desires
McCarthy & Thestrup (2008) stated that comfort level is crucial for satisfying your partner during sex. Your partner can’t tell what you want. Opening up enhances your sexual experience. Discuss with your partner what turns you on and what you desire. Consider communicating constructively and effectively if your partner has least your expectations. Come up with ideas that you think might help. Talk about your sex fantasies. Although it might be tough to pick up, think of it as normal. These sexual fantasies fall into several categories, and you might be different from your partner. Your fantasies may cause you to be vulnerable, which will increase intimacy between the two of you. Additionally, your fantasy may give you and your partner some new ideas to try in sex.
When You Don't Want sex
According to Marieke et al. (2020), libido differs from person to person; it doesn't maintain the same level in your life and causes different alignment in the partner's desire for sex. When you don't want to engage in sex, don't forget to tell your partner honestly and make it less sensitive so that it won’t bring negativity between you. Consult your health care or sex therapist if a couple has mismatched or low libido as a continuous problem causing complications in your relationship. Sex drives have many variables that couples need to consider. For instance, your lack of sexual interest can be because of physical, mental, or emotional distress.
When To Talk About Sex
There is time and place to discuss sex issues. Opening the topic at the right time helps you easily get over the feelings, discomfort, or awkwardness. You should also prefer the following:
Picking A Neutral Place
Don’t talk about your sexual disorders in the bedroom or when in bed. Pick a location that's neither private nor public. It should feel comfortable for both of you.
Avoid Talking About Post Sex Issues
Do not talk about your sexual complications immediately after having sex. Wait for some time when both of you are objective and away from the topic you want to discuss.
Understand Your Sexual Style
Knowing your sexual styles provides you with the best ways to determine which sexual forms satisfy both of you. Metz & McCarth (2011) noted that you could explore your sexual styles with your partner and understand your desires. After some time, you will find that you are developing the same thing, and that's when your sexual life grows.
The Bottom Line
Partners having a good relationship are not born but are made following certain steps. Spend time with your partner to learn and discuss your issues to build a strong relationship. Be open enough to save a relationship than quit. Take precautions when having sex with a different partner to avoid contracting diseases.
Reference:
Marieke, D., Joana, C., Giovanni, C., Erika, L., Patricia, P., Yacov, R., & Aleksandar,
Š. (2020). Sexual desire discrepancy: A position statement of the European
Society for Sexual Medicine. Sexual Medicine, 8(2), 121-131.
McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages: The communication skills book.
New Harbinger Publications.
Metz, M. E., & McCarthy, B. W. (2011). Enduring desire: Your guide to lifelong intimacy.
Routledge.
Wang, B., Li, X., Stanton, B., Zhang, L., & Fang, X. (2010). Alcohol use, unprotected
Sex, and Sexually Transmitted Infections among Female Sex Workers in China. Sexually Transmitted Diseases, 37(10), 629.