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Have you ever thought of venturing into BDSM games and do not know the submissive rules to guide you? Herein, you will learn the rules for submissive to make your Dom Sub relationship intense. These rules include safe & sane rules, playtime rules, and submissive rules for every behavior.

Couples play certain roles when in the BDSM scene. Submissive is mostly known to be the less authoritative, unlike the dominant partners. It is essential to consider BDSM rules when participating in it like any other sexual activity. Generally, submissives take orders from their dominant partners; they need that to protect them. While most people think that these rules are meant for submissive only, both parties can use them for comfort and safety play. The submissive partners understand what they are supposed to do in the BDSM scene and will do anything to ensure they achieve it.  On the other hand, the dominant partner uses these rules to implement punishments and provide training and rewards to their subs. Applying these rules can participate in insane, consensual, and safe BDSM activities. The essential thing is choosing the best rules that will work perfectly for both parties. 

What Is A Dom/Sub Relationship?

Before we get to the rules, let us first understand what a dom sub relationship is. A dom/sub relationship, often abbreviated as D/s, is a playful yet structured dynamic where one individual assumes the role of the dominant (dom), guiding and controlling the other, who takes on the submissive (sub) role. This power exchange is consensual, with both parties deriving pleasure from their respective roles. It’s not just about the bedroom—D/s can weave into everyday life, adding a layer of excitement, trust, and connection. Remember, it’s all about mutual enjoyment and respect!

Dom Sub Relationship Types

One of the most popular forms of dom sub relationships is master/slave relationship. In this consensual dynamic, the sub does everything the Dom says without question. Sex is not the focal point in master/slave relationships. Another type of D/s is caregiver/ little dynamic, where the dom takes the role of a caregiver, while the sub acts like a child or pet to gain comfort and protection. People also engage in owner/pet dynamics, where the dominating partner acts as a caretaker while the submissive partner takes on the persona of an animal.

BDSM Submissive Tasks

Submissive tasks in BDSM are designed to enhance the dynamic by providing structure and reinforcing the power exchange. These tasks can range from daily chores, such as maintaining the home or preparing meals, to more ritualistic duties like performing specific behaviours or adhering to formal protocols. The nature of these tasks should align with the submissive's preferences and agreed limits, ensuring they are both enjoyable and manageable. Tasks can also include serving the dominant partner in a personalised way, such as through dedicated acts of service or following a set of rules that reflect the dynamic. By incorporating these tasks, the relationship becomes a playful, yet structured exchange that deepens the connection and adds layers of satisfaction for both parties.

What Is High Protocol Fetish?

High protocol fetish refers to a structured, formalised style of dominant-submissive (D/s) interaction where specific, often rigid, rules, rituals, and behaviours are strictly enforced by the dominant. In high protocol dynamics, the submissive is expected to follow precise instructions, whether in terms of speech, posture, dress, or even how they perform tasks. These interactions may include formal greetings, strict etiquette, or ceremonial acts. High protocol scenes often take on a ritualistic feel, with the goal of deepening the power exchange, intensifying the submissive’s obedience, and reinforcing the dominant’s control.

Dominant Submissive Contract

A dominant-submissive (D/s) contract is a consensual agreement outlining the roles, responsibilities, and boundaries within the relationship. It defines each party’s duties, safe words for stopping or pausing activities, and sets hard and soft limits to ensure emotional and physical safety. The contract typically includes expectations for behaviour, guidelines for rewards and punishments, and may specify a time period or allow for renegotiation. Aftercare is also a key aspect, ensuring both parties' well-being after intense scenes. While not legally binding, it fosters clear communication, trust, and mutual respect.

Rules versus Protocols

You will likely encounter protocols if you go through any dominant/submissive relationship. Protocols are types of rules enforced in a specified community or situation., but in some scenarios, protocols are similar to rules since they cover the same thing for BDSM games. This includes symbols, speech & writing rules, clothing, and greetings. Generally, including low, medium, and high protocols in your scene can help determine when you are allowed to use the rules.

High Protocols

High protocols are rules applied during dinners and other related events (Weiss, 2011). They are one of the most rigorous rules. These rules include serving, expectations for speech, and restrictions on speech.

Medium Protocols

Beres & MacDonald (2015) noted that medium protocol rules are ruled used during a play or public events in BDSM plays. These rules can also include prioritizing essential BDSM elements. Moreover, the medium protocol includes a certain behavior of the submissive partner towards the dominants.

Low Protocols

Low protocols are one of the most relaxed and amazing rules. They are commonly applied during vanilla and informational situations. Also, submissive partners must be accountable to their dominants and protocols in different temptations.

Devising Your Rules

Most people engaging in BDSM scenes or kink often focus on their boundaries and interests, including submissive rules. Non-kinky relationships can learn different things from this. Having an honest conversation with your partner keeps both parties safe and satisfied;  you can consider asking for rules before venturing into a BDSM relationship. Keep these rules whenever you want to explore BDSM games. Ensure you learn and understand how each rule operates and how they have been broken. Also, all the submissive partners need to follow the rules implemented. However, the dominant partner should pay attention to correct the interactions that might accrue without any challenge. Some of the rules need modification to work practically.

Submissive Rules

BDSM Rules for Subs for a Healthy and Happy Relationship

Here are fair rules that will enhance safe, healthy, and happiness in your dominant and submissive relationship. You can apply these rules in your relationship. However, do not consider a relationship where one party does not respect these rules. You can consider these rules if your relationship is more casual;

• The submissive endeavors to share everything they are thinking of.
• The submissive promises respectful, clear, and honest communication with their dominants (Barker, 2013).
• The submissive partners will know and understand themselves.
• They will care for their mental and physical health
• The sub endeavors to act of their free will without any force
• The submissive has rules and boundaries that need to be respected.

Submissive Rules for a Safe, Sane, and Consensual Relationship

You no longer need the basic rules once you are an advanced bondage player. However, when you start experimenting with BDSM and kink, these rules can be helpful;

• The sub-partner will willingly agree to the BDSM relationship and activities involved. They will also understand how the consents can be reversed, including safe words and halting the contract.
• The submissive will not try altering the power dynamics by topping from below or bottom (trying to control the scene).
• The submissive partners will trust and depend on their dominant for care during and after the scene.
• The submissive will choose the simplest safe words to use during BDSM scenes.
• The subs endeavor to respect and obey their dominant's request or commands, except for those that might harm them.
• The submissive will agree to take in any discipline or punishment from their dominants.

Rules for a Submissive During Playtime

The BDSM rules for subs before and during the BDSM scene build on sub-rules discussed already. They include;

• The submissive partner must prepare, cleanse and groom well as directed before the scene.
• The sub partner will be available for inspection as directed by their dominant for a specific position
• The submissive must ask for permission from their dominants if they want to masturbate. This can be done by writing journals and sending them to the dom.
• The submissive partner will ask for permission if they want to achieve orgasms.
• The submissive will adhere to any direction given to them by their dominants in the BDSM scene.

Rules for Your Submissive for Everyday Behaviour

You can introduce BDSM plays into your sex life. Consider having rules that will cover different activities for you. However, these rules are greatly different from the playtime rules since they might not be dealing with BDSM or sex. Here are some of the rules;

• The submissive partner must wear their relationship symbol or collar to show ownership (Greenebaum, 2010).
• The submissive partner must address their dominant partner by their agreed honorific. They must also respond to the nicknames assigned to them.
• The submissive cannot buy anything without their dominant's permission.
• The submissive partner must ask for permission before using the bathroom or eating.
• The sub must allow the dominants to make any order, especially when ordering food or drinks.
• The submissive partners must masturbate before sleeping and send the photos to their dominants.
• The submissive must dress according to their dominant's wishes, including makeup, dress, and hair.

Being a Submissive To a Dom

Being a submissive to a dominant involves embracing a role where you willingly surrender control and follow the lead of your dominant partner. This dynamic can be deeply fulfilling, as it allows for a structured exchange of power that enhances intimacy and trust. As a submissive, you might engage in specific tasks, follow established protocols, and adhere to rules set by your dominant. Communication is key, with regular discussions about boundaries, safe words, and preferences to ensure that the experience remains positive and consensual. The role of a submissive is not about weakness but rather about finding strength and satisfaction in the act of surrender and service, creating a profound and mutually enriching connection.

How to Be a Sub to a Dom

Embracing the role of a submissive to a dominant partner involves a blend of trust, clear communication, and enthusiasm. Begin by understanding and adhering to the protocols and rules established by your dominant, whether that involves specific rituals, titles, or daily tasks. Effective communication is key—regularly discuss your boundaries, preferences, and any adjustments needed to ensure mutual satisfaction. Anticipate your dominant’s desires and act on them proactively, showing your engagement and dedication. Remember to use safe words to maintain a safe and enjoyable experience for both of you. 

Dom Rules

In a dominant-submissive relationship, the rules for the dominant partner are crucial for maintaining a balanced and respectful dynamic. The dominant should provide clear, consistent instructions and ensure that the submissive’s boundaries and limits are always respected. This includes establishing and honouring safe words to ensure immediate feedback and adjustments. The dominant must also be responsible for crafting and enforcing any rituals or protocols agreed upon, from formal greetings to specific tasks. Regular check-ins are essential to gauge the submissive’s well-being and satisfaction, ensuring that the relationship remains consensual and fulfilling. By adhering to these principles, the dominant fosters a structured, respectful environment that enhances the overall experience.

How to Dominate a Sub

Dominating a submissive partner involves a blend of clear communication, respect, and authority. Start by establishing explicit boundaries and preferences through open discussions, ensuring both partners are aligned and comfortable. Develop and enforce protocols or rituals that resonate with both of you, such as specific ways of addressing or performing tasks. Exercise control with confidence, giving clear instructions and maintaining a consistent approach to discipline and rewards.

How to Treat Your Sub

Treating your submissive with care and respect involves a delicate balance of authority and empathy. Start by establishing clear, consensual boundaries and adhering to the protocols that both partners have agreed upon. Show appreciation for their efforts and obedience with positive reinforcement and rewards, creating a motivating and supportive environment. Maintain open lines of communication to ensure their comfort and satisfaction, and be attentive to their needs and limits. Aftercare is crucial; providing emotional and physical support after intense scenes reinforces trust and deepens the connection. By combining firm leadership with genuine care, you can create a dynamic that is both empowering and fulfilling for your submissive.

BDSM Rule Ideas

In crafting rules for BDSM activities, it’s vital to blend structure with flexibility to ensure a fulfilling and safe experience. Start by establishing a clear safe word system—think “red” for an immediate halt, “yellow” for slowing down, and “green” for full steam ahead. Define hard and soft limits, where hard limits are strictly off-limits and soft limits are negotiable with caution. Rituals, like formal greetings or specific postures, can add a delightful touch of ritualistic flair to your interactions. Regular check-ins and comprehensive aftercare are essential, ensuring both parties feel emotionally and physically supported post-play.

Femdom Relationship Rules

In a Femdom relationship, establishing clear and consensual rules can greatly enhance the dynamic and ensure both partners find fulfilment. The dominant female partner, often referred to as "Mistress" or "Lady," may set guidelines for respectful address, requiring the submissive to use specific titles and adhere to established protocols. Regular rituals, such as formal greetings or task completion, reinforce the power structure and add a touch of ceremony. Clear rules for punishments and rewards help maintain balance, while a robust safe word system ensures safety and comfort. Regular communication and privacy agreements further support a healthy and enjoyable relationship, making each interaction both structured and exhilarating.

Lesbian Submissives

Lesbian submissives engage in BDSM dynamics where they embrace a role of surrender and follow the lead of a dominant partner, much like in any other consensual power exchange relationship. In this context, the dominant partner could be anyone regardless of gender, and the relationship dynamic focuses on mutual satisfaction and respect. Lesbian submissives might participate in activities such as following specific protocols, performing tasks, or adhering to rituals defined by their dominant partner. As with any BDSM dynamic, clear communication, consent, and the use of safe words are crucial to ensure that the experience is enjoyable and respectful. This dynamic allows for the exploration of power exchange and desire within the context of a lesbian relationship, deepening emotional connection and enhancing intimacy.

Rules for a Submissive Wife

In a relationship where a wife embraces a submissive role, establishing clear and consensual rules can enhance both the dynamic and enjoyment. Such rules might include addressing the dominant partner with specific titles like "Sir" or "Mistress," and following established protocols for behaviour, such as formal greetings or maintaining certain postures. Daily duties could be assigned, from household tasks to personal routines, ensuring the submissive partner’s role is defined. A structured system of rewards and punishments helps balance motivation and discipline, while a robust safe word system and regular check-ins ensure that boundaries are respected and communication remains open. These rules create a framework that fosters trust and deepens the connection in the relationship.

How to Make Your Dom Happy

To keep your dominant partner happy, focus on creating a dynamic that blends attentiveness with clear communication. Adhere to the established protocols and rituals, such as using specific titles or performing assigned tasks, which demonstrates respect and dedication. Engage in open dialogue about needs and boundaries to ensure you’re both aligned and satisfied. Anticipate their desires and act on them, showing that you’re fully invested in the dynamic. Don’t forget to express appreciation and gratitude, as positive reinforcement can greatly enhance their enjoyment. Lastly, participate in aftercare to support their emotional and physical well-being post-session, strengthening your connection and ensuring a fulfilling experience for both.

Dom Sub Scenarios

Dom-sub scenarios offer a diverse range of exciting and consensual power exchanges that can add depth and playfulness to a relationship. From classic roleplays, like the strict teacher and eager student, to more intricate setups, such as a formal protocol scene with precise rituals and behaviours, the possibilities are vast. Scenarios can include elements like bondage, discipline, or psychological play, tailored to fit the desires and boundaries of both partners. By exploring different scenarios, couples can experiment with various aspects of power dynamics, enhancing intimacy and creating memorable experiences. The key is to maintain clear communication and mutual consent, ensuring that each scenario remains enjoyable and fulfilling for both parties.

Conclusion

BDSM plays are interesting if you stick to the sub/dom rules. The sub and the dom adhere to the rules to enjoy sexual activities. You can introduce them in your bedroom, but it's important to inform your partner before.

Reference:

Barker, M. (2013). Consent Is A Grey Area? A Comparison Of Understandings Of Consent In Fifty Shades Of Grey And On The BDSM Blogosphere. Sexualities, 16(8), 896-914.

Beres, M. A., & Macdonald, J. E. (2015). Talking About Sexual Consent: Heterosexual Women And BDSM. Australian Feminist Studies, 30(86), 418-432.

Greenebaum, J. B. (2010). Training Dogs And Training Humans: Symbolic Interaction And Dog Training. Anthrozoös, 23(2), 129-141.Weiss, M. (2011). Techniques Of Pleasure. In Techniques Of Pleasure. Duke University Press.