THE SECRET TO GOOD SEX
Good sex is a lot more than changing positions, screaming, pulling sheets, and lusting over each other. To experience good sex, you will need to be available, have good foreplay, and take it slow.
Good sex involves intimacy and dedication to ensuring that you both have a good time. Movies, especially pornography, have given us unrealistic expectations of what good sex should be like. We forget that the people we watch on the screens are just actors. In real life, sexual compatibility differs from person to person. Everyone has a different trick on working for them. Sometimes the good sex we had yesterday is elusive, it refuses to work again, and we keep researching for more secrets. According to Philpott et al. (2006), sexual pleasure is the physical and psychological satisfaction and enjoyment one derives from any erotic interaction. The secret to good sex will no longer be hidden as soon as you are done with the following tips;
Be Available
Being available does not mean that you are there physically. Being available means being there physically, emotionally, and sexually. Availability may seem easy, but it takes a lot of practice. When you are about to have sex, do not think of it as something you will do fast and rush to the bathroom, shower, and sleep. Your mind must be undistracted and free from any bothering issues. Your partner should not be distracted either. Think about one thing- the sex that you are about to have. It has been said that sex starts with the mind before the body takes over, according to Butler (2011). If your mind is full of clutter, you will not have good sex. Ensure the area is clean and comfortable. Close your eyes so that you can focus on the meditation. Think about nice things such as peace and how you will enjoy sex, then focus on your partner. You need to have a clear mind to have good sex.
Have Good Foreplay
kissesIf he hurriedly you and then starts thrusting in and out, you will not enjoy sex. For women to enjoy sex, there must be lubrication. Men experienced in sex know that foreplay is not a waste of time. Having quick sex when there is no lubrication is painful. It will not be enjoyable since a woman takes longer to be aroused. According to Young (1992), foreplay can be enjoyable without penile penetration. That’s how lesbians enjoy sex. They may eventually get strap-ons for sexual intercourse. Touches release the hormone oxytocin, which has been referred to as the hormone of love. It makes you love each other more. Kiss and explore each other sensually until you achieve sufficient lubrication.
No judging
Have no boundaries in the bedroom and be secure in each other's company. Rachels & Rachels (1986) explained that there should be no judging of each other’s body parts to enjoy sex. There should be an absolute appreciation of each other as you are. People enjoy the most sex with the person around whom they feel confident around. If there was an unbothered person about your blemishes, that's the person you had the best sex with. You cannot enjoy sex if you know there is a part of your body that your partner does not like. Sexual intimacy involves wholesome love and respect. Hopefully, you have spoken about your preferences in the bedroom. Do not surprise your partner with something they may not like, like anal sex or bondage. They will judge you for that if it puts them off. The things you intend to do in the bedroom should be what you both want.
Take It Slow
Pornography has taught us that steamy, good sex is rough and fast. Suppose you have that in real life. It will not be good. None of you will enjoy it because sex is all about rhythm. At some point, it will be rough and fast, but if it starts like that, it will be a disaster. Good sex is sensual and involves the senses. You have to feel each other even during the act, which you do not see in most erotic movies. In the erotic movies, the couple focuses on the genitals only. Good sex involves smelling, tasting, seeing, hearing, and touching to awaken the best sexual sensation. There should be no rush.
No High Expectations
The reality is that sex will not feel good every time you have it. The sex you have tomorrow might be hotter than the sex you had yesterday. No matter how sexually compatible you are, you will have what is known as bad sex sometimes. Bad sex is when the sex ends, and you do not feel great. Maybe you both did not reach an orgasm, or one of you reached the orgasm while the other had an explosive climax. It may cause momentary resentment, but there is always a next time to be a better sexual partner for as long as you will be an item. You should not have high expectations. If sex is only enjoyable when you have an orgasm by your definition, you may be disappointed sometimes. However, if you are comfortable in the relationship, your partner will not feel insufficient if you have to masturbate to reach a climax.
Conclusion
Having good sex differs from couple to couple. The tricks that ensured sex with the other partner may not work with the current partner. Practice makes perfect and compatibility matter. The couple should also understand that sex is not just sexual intercourse but involves foreplay too. The couple should be free to communicate whichever issues they may have. They should talk about sex anytime to build upon the anticipation. They can have spontaneous sex to reduce anxiety. They may have to introduce sex toys too. Couples should be comfortable with each other to enjoy sex fully.
References
Philpott, A., Knerr, W., & Boydell, V. (2006). Pleasure and Prevention: When Good Sex
is Safer Sex. Reproductive Health Matters, 14(28), 23-31.
Rachels, J., & Rachels, S. (1986). The Elements Of Moral Philosophy (p. 224). Philadelphia:
Temple University Press.
Young, I. M. (1992). Breasted Experience: The Look And The Feeling. In The Body in
Medical Thought and Practice (pp. 215-230). Springer, Dordrecht.
Butler, J. (2011). Bodies that Matter: On The Discursive Limits of Sex. Routledge.