Content Verification

Written by:✓

Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

Medically Reviewed by:✓

Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor

Fact Checked by:✓

Barbara Santini
Psychologist and Sex and Relationships Advisor

Rough sex involves the strong, violent use of elements and items to inflict pain or risk to a person during sexual activities. Some of the reasons we crave rough sex include; breaking boredom, feeling dominated, and physical arousal.

Being normal can, at times, be boring. Soft sex on the regular can turn into a serious general routine. Some people find pleasure in hair pulling and being choked, while others find pleasure in being tied down to the bed and beaten with belts. The pain sexually arouses them such that they experience awesome sensations. They love to feel the adrenaline rush through their body. It brings them some excitement. There are different reasons why people crave rough sex. They include;

Feeling Of Power and Domination

According to Miller, P. (2019), domination is all about power over someone. Most people want to feel like they have full control and power over someone. The need and desire to take control over someone excites them sexually. The moans and the different sounds made by the submissive sexually arouse them. Others want to feel that they are being overpowered by the dominant, hence submissive. They want someone to gain control and have complete power over them. It might feel like they are treated or regarded with hate or disrespect, but all in all, they do not care. 

Break Boredom   

Some couples get tired of normal sexual activities. It becomes boring and seems like a routine or a chore that one has no other option but to do. They tend to look for ways that can make them get that feeling of excitement, which may bring back the spark in their relationship. Therefore, they opt to introduce rough sex and try it on their partners. This brings the bedroom excitement and a sensational feeling. It may be a challenge, but once they get the hang of it, they want to experience it. 

Physiological Arousal

At most times, when one is angry at their partner, the blood pressure rises, and one tends to lash out at them. This may cause them to involve in sex with a lot of aggression or strength. The other person, at times, has the same plans. They tend to do a lot of stuff that will make their partner angry to get a reaction from them, maybe because they enjoy having rough sex together. Moreover, most people enjoy having to make up through rough sex. This happens when they have disagreed, and after they solve it, they reconcile with some rough sex. 

Alcohol

Alcohol tends to take away someone's ability to think properly. When one is drunk, they become numb and are deprived of the feeling of sensation and pain. The senses are lessened, and you may not know if you are having rough sex because you are numb to pain. You might be having sex with your partner and not know that you are inflicting pain on them or putting their lives at risk. 

Feeling of Desire

Everyone always wants to be desired by their partner. The thought of someone being into you and wanting to take over you makes one feel excited. One always feels desired because their partner loves them to the point that it drives them wild, and they cannot control themselves. They are driven out of control and surrender themselves to the dominant. After seeing that they have all the power over their partner, the dominant tries to pleasure themselves by imposing pain on their partner by having rough sex. Submissives feel desired because they do not have to participate in anything, and all the responsibility lies with the dominant one.

Getting Horny During Foreplay

Before having sex, one engages themselves in foreplay activities. Activities such as fingering and using sex toys on your partner will make them horny. If you get horny before being intimate with your partner, you might have a more intense and aggressive sexual encounter. The sexual experience will involve rough sex because sensual senses have already been activated. The excitement that one has makes them respond to their feelings and do more than they had intended to do.   

Fantasy

Some people might have heard about rough sex and have never gotten the chance to experience it with their partner. They get to think about it and what to do to experience it. They keep on imagining situations that will drive them into having sex and how someone feels when having sex that involves pain. They may opt to try and get the experience firsthand and halt their muse. Most times, they end up loving the whole experience and will suggest it to their partner when they are about to get it down.

Reach Climax

During sex, women take a longer time to get some orgasms and climax. Sex should not be pleasurable to the man only but to both partners. The men may end up cumming while the woman has not reached their peak or experienced some orgasms. Therefore, they prefer to engage in some rough sex with their partner. Some women get sexually stimulated or reach their climax by going through rough sexual activities such as being choked or feeling some pain. 

Conclusion

Rough sex should be consensual and should not be forced. The sensational feeling and experience will be mutually enjoyable when both partners consent. During rough sex, the receiver of the punishment is the one who is always in charge. Most people think that the power lies with the dominant, which is never the case. The submissive is always in charge because the dominant may get over-excited and go beyond what they had planned. When things go overboard, the sub can ask the dominant to stop with all the punishment. It is encouraged that one should start slowly and work their way up to climax.  

References

Miller, P. (2019). Domination and power (Vol. 41). Routledge.