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Do you know you can improve your sex life and confidence in the bedroom? Here are the things you should do to reach your bedroom goal; be present, be ready to learn, know what gives you pleasure, try different sex positions, make the first move, and let your partner see.

Expressing yourself sexually is an important part of being human. Helps you experience intimacy and pleasure. Having good sex is important for regulating your needs to desire physically and emotionally. Everybody has confidence problems when it comes to sex. Even if everything in the boudoir has worked out, most people are bound for difficulties at some point in their sexual experience life. It's a confident problem waiting to happen. Instead of letting this discourage them, people should embrace the insecurities that arise and take time to prepare for possible challenges. Herein are some of the ways people can use to boost their confidence in bed and ready for any self-esteem that comes their way;

Be Present

Schneider (2000) explained that most people are caught up in the wrong thought during sex, and nothing gets in the way of sexual pleasure, like having a thought that takes away the moment. They worry about their performance, vagina and penis sizes, the face their partner makes during sex, their looks, whether they are following sex sequences, or whether they have locked the door and replied to important mail. Try to be in the present; this helps you enjoy the sensation that your body is experiencing fully. Body confidence is a major issue for both men and women. Pleasure can crowd anxiety over performance if you embrace the sight, feeling, and sensations of what's happening.

Be Ready To Learn

Easton et al. (2011) explained that sexual confidence is built by being open to learning, unlearning, and exploring new things. It encourages you to try new things. Exercise patience, as new things take time to perfect the process.

Understand Sex Is Not Magical

In real life, sex differs from what is shown in movies and porn. During intimacy, communication is the key, don't assume and guess what will work. Be open about what will work for you and your partner. Your need to communicate about yourself might be awkward at fast-talking about your sexual preferences, but you'll get the confidence to articulate your needs. It leads to great sex with your partner. Accepting your partner will make them feel appreciated and special.

Know What Gives You pleasure

Walker & Robinson (2012) explained that knowing what turns you on as a person helps you experience orgasm and pleasure, and you will share it with your partner, leading to a more positive, pleasurable experience. When it comes to being with someone else, you'll have to reacquaint yourself with your body, which helps you accept and gain confidence. Individuals forget positive things about their bodies and focus on the parts they don't like.

Try Different Sex Positions

Trying the same sex position every time can be monotonous for you and your partner. Wamoyi et al. (2018) explained that exploring different sex positions can be beneficial. Take inspiration from porn videos or erotica. Different positions can help keep your passion alive if you have been with your partner for too long. Make sure you're on the same page with your partner. You may choose a sex position, and your partner doesn't want to do it.

Prepare For A Negative Outcome

Sex can be unpredictable. Being sexually confident helps you prepare for how you'll react when things don't go as planned. Sometimes your vagina may not lubricate, or your penis may not get hard. You may hit your partner unintentionally. You may fart loudly, work on being okay in such circumstances, and not let it distract you from having a good time. Don't let such events make you shy each time you want to get intimacy; laugh it off; if possible, laughter can help ease the tension in the room. This thing happens, and individuals move on regardless. Always have a successful mind even though you have prepared for the worst.

Make The First Move

When you initiate the first move, your partner will see that you're confident and assert that you go for what you want. People are attracted to partners who make the first move in the bedroom. It also signals your partner that you're interested in them, which increases their desire to have sex with you.

Set The Mood

You can’t move from fully clothed to penetration sex without some arousal activities. Humans are so sensitive. You can introduce foreplay, and it's a great way for you and your partner to increase your sex drive, excitement, and desire. Foreplay can include massaging different parts of their body, slowly taking off your clothes in front of your partner, kissing over their body, whispering your desire to your partner, kissing on the mouth, and fingering or hand job Masturbation can also be foreplay. It boosts your mood, helps you feel good sexually, and increases your libido. There is no wrong or way to do foreplay as long as it's consensual.

Make Sounds

Moaning, sighing, grunting, or whatever comes out of your mouth in that moment of pleasure can help reaffirm to your partner that you're enjoying what they are doing. Being loud can help you express yourself and might increase your pleasure.

Let Your Partner See

Keeping the lights on during sex or masturbating in front of your partner while they watch increases arousal and makes them want you even more and sooner. Sexual confidence is all about putting everything out there.

Discuss fantasy

Talking with your partner about fantasies is a way to show sexual confidence. Telling them how you like to experience pleasure may turn them on listening to you. Sex is as physical as a mental act; you can easily be aroused by thinking about your fantasies.

Take Control

Being good in bed is not a one-way street; learning to talk to your partner about sex is very important, and before talking to them, you must have confidence, which makes you good in bed practice and don't be shy. Taking control in the bedroom show how sexual confidence you're as long as you still respect the need and desire of your partner.


Sexual confidence is not how yummy your vagina is, how big your penis is, how well your toned body is or how long you can last. It's about your needs and those of your partner. Knowing what your partner wants during intimacy or sex and getting it.


Easton, D., Liszt, C. A., Dodson, B., Nearing, R., Magazine, L. M., Anapol, D., & Stan Dale, D. H. S. (2011). The ethical slut. Potter/TenSpeed/Harmony.

Schneider, J. P. (2000). Effects of cybersex addiction on the family: Results of a survey. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity: The Journal of Treatment and Prevention7(1-2), 31-58.

Walker, L. M., & Robinson, J. W. (2012). Sexual adjustment to androgen deprivation therapy: struggles and strategies. Qualitative health research22(4), 452-465.

Wamoyi, J., Buller, A. M., Nyato, D., Kyegombe, N., Meiksin, R., & Heise, L. (2018). “Eat and you will be eaten”: a qualitative study exploring costs and benefits of age-disparate sexual relationships in Tanzania and Uganda: implications for girls’ sexual and reproductive health interventions. Reproductive health15(1), 1-11.