Safety Tips for Submissives and Masochists - BDSM Safety Tips Part 2
Safety Tips for Submissives and Masochists - BDSM Safety Tips Part 2
Safety Tips for Submissives and Masochists
A submissive has a lot less work to do when it comes to practicing SSC. This, however, does not mean that he or she has no responsibility. Rather, the submissive's work is more in the form of making sure to be honest. While it is the Dominant's job to ensure that the submissive isn't too badly harmed the submissive's job is to make sure the Dominant can do so.
The "Safe" side of SSC that is important to a submissive lies in their willingness to use their safety word and be honest. A safety word is not something to use lightly, since it is used to signal an immediate end to play, but that doesn't mean you should hold off on using it when it's needed. For submissives who are not masochists this is fairly easy to do. When you're feeling more pain than you enjoy simply let your dominant know. For masochists, on the other hand, it becomes a bit more difficult. Of course, you should always tell your Dominant if you're in more pain then you like. However, you should also use it if you feel that an activity is about to cause you permanent, or at least closer to permanent than you'd like, damage. An example of this is on adjustable bondage furniture. If you feel yourself being stretched or bent in a way that makes you worry it could dislocate something, you should use your safety word. This will let your Dominant know to release you which will let you tell him or her your concerns. This may happen quite often at first if you're with a new Dominant or either of you are new to the lifestyle. After some trial and error, however, you should both get an idea of how far you can take things while staying safe.
The "Sane" requirement is extremely easy to fulfill for submissives. It's simply a matter of making sure your Dominant knows how far they can take things and what areas they should use their own judgement in. If you enjoy being whipped by a bullwhip but lack the restraint to call for a stop if you start taking damage from it, for instance, you can let your Dominant know that ahead of time. This way you can get the treatment you enjoy and know that they'll be ready to treat you if you don't use your safety word in time. The corollary to this is ensuring your Dominant has the proper medical supplies for any "harder" types of play you enjoy. While it is the Dominant's duty to make sure the first aid kit is stocked you should still remind them to check it before you start playing.
"Consensual" is an area of SSC that some submissives have a problem with. For whatever reason, some submissives don't like telling their dominants that they don't like certain treatment. Whether you like the idea or not, it's important that you let your Dominant know ahead of time what activities you enjoy, dislike, and refuse to do. This will help you avoid an overuse of the safety word as well as keep either of you from getting aggravated at the idea of constantly straying into one of your limits. You also need to make sure that the safety word picked is something you can easily say and remember. This is the reason that "red" and similar words are often used for safety words. A short and simple one word phrase is usually your best bet when it comes to remembering and shouting out something while you're in pain or uncomfortable. Aside from that, your main duty to keep things consensual is to tell your Dominant what you did and didn't like after sessions. If you enjoyed the caning but didn't like being hung by your wrists, they need to know or they won't be able to avoid those activities in the future.
While the steps you have to take require less effort than the steps Dominants have to take they are no less important. A submissive carries just as much of the responsibility for his or her own safety as their Dominant does. Luckily, most of the tips you need to pay attention to are easily handled at the very beginning of a relationship, for the most part. You may have to tell your Dominant about a new limit you'd not considered or inform them of a limit that's no longer and issue but these only take the span of a conversation. During the actual play, you're free, for the most part, to simply lay back and let go of your responsibilities.
Final Thoughts
These fairly simple tips are the basis of a safe, healthy BDSM relationship. As long as you can keep them in mind, you'll find that you can both relax and enjoy yourselves more freely. However, there are some brief tips you should keep in mind, no matter whether you're a Dominant or a submissive. First of all, make sure to keep a full first aid kit handy at all times. No matter how safe you're being, accidents happen and you want to be prepared. Secondly, read and follow the instructions for any BDSM equipment you buy. This can help keep you from damaging the equipment and getting hurt. Last, but most important, use common sense. If something seems like it carries a high risk of causing real harm you should read up on how to do it properly. It may be that there's a trick to doing it without being hurt. If your research indicates that there's no such trick, and the activity does come with a high risk of injury, you should avoid it. Other than that, there's nothing to say except have fun and be safe.