Content Verification

Written by:✓

Barbara Santini
Psychologist and Sex and Relationships Advisor

Medically Reviewed by:✓

Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor

Fact Checked by:✓

Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

Disabilities, especially physical, play an important role in people's lives, the social and personal aspects. Herein is what to know about paralyzed sex, including; can paralyzed people engage in sex, quadriplegic, and paraplegic sex.

Disability is a taboo topic no one dares to talk about, not even health care providers. The topic on sex and how hard it is for paralyzed folks to engage in it. Some people prefer not to engage on this topic because they feel caught between a rock and a hard place. However, it is important as a community, regardless of gender, to talk about sex and disability because everyone is deserving of the good tidings that come with sex. People delve into sex and disability, especially for persons with spinal cord injuries.

Can Paralyzed People Engage In Sex

People diagnosed with paralysis are categorized into two groups;

Quadriplegia: This is paralysis of the arms and legs.

Paraplegia: This is leg paralysis; they may experience little or no sensation in the legs

It would be easier to tackle each set and its options when engaging in sex with that in mind. The partial loss of sensation and movement to one part of the body does not necessarily mean your sexual life will drain. It will affect some aspects of your sexual life for the most part, but it is possible to have sex. Paralyzed people also desire sex the same way people with no mobility issues do. They get sexually aroused, and that's needed for pleasure. Some people assume that paralyzed folks are asexual, defined as low interest in matters of sex or a complete lack of sexual attraction to others. This school of thought should _be banned because it shows nothing but a stereotyping mentality of paralyzed people. Although some people in the community identify as asexual, you cannot assume the whole community is asexual. It is not right to make assumptions about people with disability and how their genitals function if they do not. Keep in mind that genital function is dependent on where the injury occurred.

Hess & Hough (2012) noted that people with paralysis could experience reflexive arousal and genital arousal due to physical stimulation. In such cases, the vagina may lubricate, and the penis may maintain an erection. In some cases, spinal cord injuries may impair orgasm. Benevento & Sipski (2002) discovered that 38% of men were able to orgasm through ejaculation. It does not mean that the sex will be less pleasurable if the genitalia function is affected. It may affect some aspects of it, but they will still be able to feel pleasure. Communicate with your spouse if they have spinal cord injuries to avoid assuming things. The disabled partner will feel they have a safe space to air their desires.

Quadriplegic Sex

 Qamara et al. (2007) defined Quadriplegia as the loss of sensation and mobility in the arms and legs. This subgroup of paralyzed people may engage in sex, but they will have to change their whole view on sex because some of the positions they used to love before the injury may not be possible even if they decide to use sex aids. There are a few considerations they may need to consider, especially matters to do with genital function, if a quadriplegic person decides to continue engaging in sex. Some sexual aides they may look to try are cock rings, penile implants, vacuum pumps, penile injections, and erectile dysfunction pills. Women with vaginal lubrication impairment may need a quality artificial lube alternative to solve vaginal atrophy.

Sex does not have to be focused on the genitals. According to Cole et al. (1973), when your partner has quadriplegia, it is paramount that you explore their bodies to get a grip on their erogenous zones. The body self-adjusts to changes, and the loss of mobility may come with the rise of an erogenous zone that never existed before. Parts of the body like the earlobes and neck may become extremely sensitive to touch, which is a win-win situation for pleasure. It is possible to orgasm when these areas are stimulated because genital stimulation is not the only door to orgasm. Your disabled man's balls may become more sensitive, and using vibrators or cock rings may lead to a mind-blowing orgasm. You should focus on body exploration to know which zones feel the most pleasure if you or your partner has quadriplegia.

Paraplegic Sex

Sex with a paraplegic partner requires one to be open-minded because sex might not be as easy as films portray. There needs to be understanding and a constant open line of communication so that you and your partner's needs are met. Paraplegic people have limited mobility in their lower bodies. Their upper bodies function and they can perform traditional sex positions such as doggy style while in a wheelchair and cowgirl position. You could also try a variety of kinky, anal, and oral sex. You and your partner can be creative, indulge in many pleasurable activities, and figure out what works best. You can watch porn videos for people with similar disabilities and employ their styles and other sexual activities. Ensure you communicate with your partner before introducing new activities. Comfort is important in sex, and you may need to rely on many tools like sex toys and sex pillows to accord you the desired comfort.

The Bottom Line

Paralysis does not have to put a stop to your sexual adventures. On the contrary, it should open new doors for sexual satisfaction that you never experienced before. How you choose to steer your sex life is dependent on your mentality; you may choose to end your sex life which will be nothing short of unfortunate, or you may look for ways to pleasure yourself, with a partner, or solo. Nothing should hinder paralyzed folks from engaging in sex, not even the myths founded by people who do not know paralysis. The article above depicts paralyzed people who can have sex because they have a right to experience pleasure and intimacy regardless of their disability status.

Reference:

Benevento, B. T., & Sipski, M. L. (2002). Neurogenic Bladder, Neurogenic Bowel, And 

Sexual Dysfunction In People With Spinal Cord Injury. Physical Therapy, 82(6), 601-612.

Cole, T. M., Chilgren, R., & Rosenberg, P. (1973). A New Programme Of Sex Education 

And Counselling For Spinal Cord Injured Adults And Health Care Professionals. Spinal Cord, 11(2), 111-124.

Hess, M. J., & Hough, S. (2012). Impact Of Spinal Cord Injury On Sexuality: 

Broad-Based Clinical Practice Intervention And Practical Application. The Journal Of Spinal Cord Medicine, 35(4), 211-218.

Qamar, I. O., Fadli, B. A., Al Sukkar, G., & Abdalla, M. (2017, May). Head Movement 

Based Control System For Quadriplegia Patients. In 2017 10th Jordanian International Electrical And Electronics Engineering Conference (JIEEEC) (Pp. 1-5). IEEE.