WHAT IS A PARTNERSHIP, AND CAN IT SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE?
WHAT IS A PARTNERSHIP, AND CAN IT SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE?
A partnership is a dedication to an ongoing relationship. Some of the ways a partnership can save a marriage include; accepting the past, being open-minded, and recognizing what's working.
A partnership involves two people who have decided to commit to each other and have taken the responsibility to make the relationship work. Relationships can get boring at times. You might feel like your partner is becoming a stranger to you, or whatever they do seems to irritate you. It is all upon the couple to sit down and talk about their issues and how they can go past it. Separating should never be an option if there exists a chance where you can both salvage the relationship. Some of the ways a partnership can save a marriage include;
Recognizing What’s Working
What's still keeping you together? Both of you pledged allegiance that you would stay together. It is common knowledge that all marriages have shortcomings. Get to know and analyze your strong points and why you are still together.
Try and see things from your partner's view, and don’t dwell too much on your perspective. According to Beck, A. T. & Padesky, C. A. (1990), acceptance helps tune up a relationship. Listen to what they are saying and what led to the issue or your disagreement. It might look like they are making excuses or validating themselves and not taking responsibility for their actions. Still, by being open-minded, you will understand them. After listening, you might get their point, and you may substantiate your partner's truth and try to rebuild your relationship.
Reminisce On the Good
Remember the good days that you shared. Try to remember what you loved doing together and what the other person loved to do. You can also try to remember what attracted you to each other. Try and get to know where it all went wrong and how you can rekindle the lost spark.
Seek Professional Help
When communicating with each other seems difficult, try and talk it out with a counselor. You can discuss how the whole issue started and where you think it went wrong. Get to understand your issues from another person's perspective. Hall (2011) recommended professional advice from a sex therapist or counselor for one to get liberated. Both of you might have an issue and keep blaming each other. The counselor can point out where they think the problem lies and may suggest how to solve it within yourselves. A therapist will develop ways you can use to save your union.
Happiness should come from within. Depend on yourself for happiness rather than waiting for your partner to make you happy and feel whole. Make sure you have a life outside the relationship. Have a social life, meet up with your friends for social dates, and try doing some activities you love. Be happy with yourself and carry that happiness into your relationship. Your partner will not at all times fulfill all your needs and desires. Be complete first so that your partner does not feel overwhelmed with the thought of always being the one to make you happy.
Accept The Past
Do not live in the past of what happened or who did what. Move forward and try to forget what they have done to you. Embrace the situation and try to develop ways you can move forward. Also, accept the fact it happened and try to discuss ways that you can change the situation and create something fresh that you will both enjoy.
It would be best if you had boundaries and limits. Set them and make sure that your partner knows about them. If they try to go against them, remind them that you are not okay with their actions and state why. There are things that your partner does not appreciate or like in a partnership. Therefore, be keen and respectful not to go against them. Swearing and shouting at your partner can be a boundary that should not be crossed. Communicate with your partner and get to know how they want to be treated and what you should avoid.
It is always right to show gratitude when someone does something good for you and to you. Try and build a relationship with your partner again. Appreciate the little changes in them since the little things do matter. If they've changed their hairstyle, tell them they look good. Furthermore, tell them they look classy in certain clothes and how great they look with their new haircut. Build a connection with them.
Most times, you will feel overwhelmed by all the disagreements and may feel like nothing is working for you. In such times, you should try giving each other some space. Try living separately to calm down and think of ways where it all went wrong. Try and have no communication with each other. When you have calmed down and feel like you are in the right position to talk, you can go ahead and solve the situation at hand. Giving each other space does not mean that you are separating for good. It means that being together at that time is not ideal or good for you, and you opt to clear your mind instead of saying something hurtful that you will end up regretting.
A partnership involves people who have decided to form a union and are responsible for doing everything to make the relationship work. Marriage is not an easy road. It can hit hard rock, and you won't know how you will solve it. It may become difficult to save it, and you might be separated. It is always better to go back to the drawing board and reminisce about how it all started when this happened. Strategize on ways to rekindle the spark you once had. It may be hard, but sometimes you have to take the risk and go all in to save your marriage.
Beck, A. T., & Padesky, C. A. (1990). Love is never enough. Center for Cognitive Therapy.Hall, P. (2011). A biopsychosocial view of sex addiction. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 26(3), 217-228.