WHAT IS TOPPING FROM THE BOTTOM, AND WHY IS IT BAD?
There is a topping from the bottom in dominance and submission relationships. It is different from the sexual act. However, rules govern the game and the participants should obey them. Equip yourself before engaging in the game.
The top and bottom in BDSM refer to the power dynamic between partners playing together. One partner acts as the top and gives directives, while the one performing the bottom role is submissive. The participant performs the roles instructed by the top. The top is referred to as master, goddess, mistress, or sir majesty.
Sometimes, the submissive partner turns the dynamics upside down and When it happens in a bad way, it is called topping from the bottom. The sub directs and makes decisions for the dominant. The sub instructs contrary to the predetermined power dynamic. For example, when a sub gives direction on how to be tied up, the sub may do the opposite of what was agreed before the game began or directs the dominant on what type to be used, and this may happen when the dominant has selected another whip. Below are examples of topping from the bottom.
Topping from the bottom takes forms and appearances;
- Ignoring commands.
- Disobeying orders given by your master.
- Questioning orders.
- Making mistakes.
- Negotiating the scene.
Why Topping from The Bottom Is Bad?
The sub and dominant discuss activities to be conducted in a BDSM game. The specifications on how the scene looks are laid. Going against the details to control the relationship is bad because the agreed time of opposing it is when laying and not during the game, causing more problems than pleasure.
Manipulation is not a wise idea for a sexual relationship. It limits the chance for a relationship to grow. Therefore, topping from the bottom is manipulation. People enjoy discipline because a healthy BDSM relationship helps people grow and become intimate.
Reasons Why Subs Top from The Bottom
They Are Testing the Dominant
You may come across a hard-headed submissive who wants to test if the dominant is strong to keep them in check. It motivates the dominant to reign over the submissive. The bottom opts for a different partner to take the dominant role if unable to deal with the situation.
The Bottom Partner Is Not Submissive
A person may change a partner if the BDSM is done wrongly. They don't do it right since they are naturally more dominant. It leads to bottom topping.
The Top Is A Novice
New dominants do not know how to top another person leading to topping from the bottom. Some are lenient as they are getting used to their role. The dominant is topped when the newbies are paired with a strong-willed submissive or one who is more experienced.
The Bottom Has Trust Issues
Trust issues arise when newbies are paired and assigned a new dominant, ignoring or disobeying them. Being hesitant is natural. New partners are not supposed to be rushed into the scene.
How to Stop Topping from The Bottom
Communication is a rule in BDSM. One proceeds as an obedient bottom after discussing desires and fear. Seek a new partner if you realize the one you are having is unfit. A dominant might see signs from the sub and find solutions without raising the conversation.
Train the sub to stop topping from the bottom. Discourage behaviors you do not like and encourage those you are comfortable with. Keep training the sub and avoid punishing them.
The Bottom Line
Topping from the bottom is discouraged as it damages the relationship between the sub and dominant. People need training instead of punishment when they make mistakes. Communicate with your partner to avoid mistakes.