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Anal sex is a kind of stimulation that some people might want to explore. The questions that many people want to know about anal sex include whether anal sex is safe and why anal sex hurts sometimes. 

People who avoid anal sex seem to think that anal sex is for homosexual men only. Still, the truth is anal sex appeals to some heterosexual couples, too, ever since kinkers discovered that the anus has several sensitive nerves that can end in an amazing orgasm. The other reason anal sex is popular among some people is that the anal canal is tighter than the vaginal canal. For some people, the motivation they get to pursue anal sex is because they are into kinky adventures. Below are answers to some questions that people intending to venture into anal sex may want to know;

Is Anal Sex Safe?

Anal sex is safe, but like vaginal sex, there are some risks involved. All the reasons that cause anal sex to be dangerous stem from the fact that the anus does not self-lubricate naturally. Lack of lubrication causes friction, which causes injuries to the anal canal. The anal canal is lined with thin tissues that get injured easily. When there are injuries in the anal canal, there are open wounds, which is why people who have anal sex are more susceptible to sexually transmitted illnesses and HIV. People can greatly reduce the risks associated with anal sex by using lubrication. 

Why Does Anal Sex Hurt Sometimes?

These are the three reasons why anal sex hurts sometimes;

  • By nature, the anus is meant to let things out and not in, which is why the anus is tight. Trying to get things into the anus hurts, especially for beginners, so it is recommended that you train the anus so that it can take in bigger things. This is why some people wear butt plugs for hours.
  • The anus is not as elastic as the vagina. During anal penetration, the anus does not stretch like the vagina would allow the bigger objects into the vagina. 
  • The vagina lubricates itself during arousal, and the anus does not naturally lubricate itself. The main purpose of lubrication is to prevent friction. Friction causes injuries, and it is worse for the anus because the anal canal is lined with a light lining.

Will the Pain I Feel Go Away?

The pain that you feel during anal sex will not vanish until you start lubricating. Taormino (2006) stated that with desire, relaxation, communication, trust, and lots of lubrication, anal sex can be not only pain-free but arousing and orgasmic. Lubrication is the number one rule of anal sex. So long as you do not lubricate the anus, it will not be able to withstand the friction, and you will not only have injuries, but also bacterial infections. Lack of lubrication makes you susceptible to sexually transmitted infections because you have injuries in the anus, which makes people who have anal sex more vulnerable to STIs and HIV. If you want to enjoy anal sex, always have lube.

Does Anal Sex Always Hurt?

Anal sex should not hurt. For beginners, it will hurt because the anus is tighter than it is for people who are experienced in it. It is also important that you anal train. That means inserting bigger objects in the anus to make it able to accommodate bigger objects. However, anal sex will be tolerable if you use lube. If you do not want to deal with pain, wounds, and infections in your anal area, including hemorrhoids, invest in lube. Lubrication is very important as explained by Angel (2022). Moreover, Wilson et al. (2017) explained that lubricants are used during procreative intercourse to moderate the amount of wetness in the genitals. 

Will Numbing Creams and Lubrications Help With the Pain?

Numbing creams and lubrication may numb the pain, but the disadvantage is that you will not know if you get injuries while having sex because you will not feel the pain. Feeling the pain is important because it's a signal that the sex needs to end. However, if the friction goes on, you can have serious injuries. You should never use numbing creams and lubrication for anal sex.

Can I Bleed During Anal Sex?

Yes, you can bleed during anal sex, especially as a first-timer. You probably did not lube enough. It is okay to notice some spots, but it is not normal if you are bleeding too much. Therefore, you will have to seek medical attention instantly. 

Can I Have an Orgasm During Anal Sex?

The anus has thousands of sensitive nerves, which makes anal sex pleasurable. You can have an anal orgasm, and it is as sensational as vaginal and clitoral orgasm.

What is the Best Anal Sex Position?

You may think that the best anal sex position is doggy, but spooning is the best because it keeps the couples closer. Also, they can enjoy sensual sex more than they would if they were in the doggy position. A doggy position may be too rough for anal sex.

Can I Use Sex Toys During Anal Sex?

You may use sex toys during anal sex, but remember that you must have lube anytime you insert anything in the anus. Never have anal sex without lubrication because if you do, the friction will cause injuries.

Which is the Perfect Lube For Anal Sex?

The perfect lube for anal sex would be oil-based. The downside of oil-based lube is that you cannot use it with condoms because it will tear the condoms. The importance of condoms has been discussed by Gay (2004). Water-based oil is not great for anal sex because it runs out too fast, and you have to keep on reapplying because you should use lubrication throughout the anal sex session. If you want to wear condoms, silicone lube may be the best option because it does not dry out as fast as water-based lube.


Some people believe that anal sex is not natural, but in the kink community, nothing is unnatural where there is lube. We are also past the time when anal sex was considered taboo as described by Henderson (2019). The issues related to anal sex are in no way different from the issues surrounding vaginal sex. Coping with anal injuries and infections resulting from the injuries is not an easy fete considering that you may end up dealing with incurable illnesses like HIV/AIDS. However, the partners should always remember to lubricate and have safe sex so long as it is consensual. Everything about pleasurable anal sex starts and ends in lubrication.


Angel, K. (2022). Tomorrow sex will be good again: Women and desire in the age of consent. Verso Books.

Gay, A., 2004. Anal Sex Sex and the Female Condom. Appropriating Technology: Vernacular Science and Social Power, p.63.

Henderson, J. (2019). sex, anal. In Oxford Research Encyclopedia of Classics.

Taormino, T. (2006). The ultimate guide to anal sex for women. San Francisco: Cleis Press.Wilson, S. L., Adam, J. K., & Krishna, S. B. N. (2017). Effects of vaginal lubricants on in-vitro progressive spermatozoa motility. African Journal of Reproductive Health21(3), 96-101.

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