Skip to content

What are you looking for?

Introducing a dildo into your relationship – Dos and Don’ts

Introducing a dildo into your relationship – Dos and Don’ts

  • by Katie Peachesa
Trending

Weekly Best Sellers

Indulge in the luxury of choice at your fingertips

EROTIC LINGERIE

Abierta fina open red lace body lingerie one piece - peaches and screams Abierta fina open red lace body lingerie one piece - peaches and screams
Abierta fina open red lace crotchless lingerie set - peaches and screams Abierta fina open red lace crotchless lingerie set - peaches and screams
Cottelli lace and chain bondage crotchless set - peaches and screams Cottelli lace and chain bondage crotchless set - peaches and screams
Cottelli red crotchless bondage set with lace and o rings - peaches and screams Cottelli red crotchless bondage set with lace and o rings - peaches and screams
Abierta fina open lace body crotchless lingerie in black - peaches and screams Abierta fina open lace body crotchless lingerie in black - peaches and screams

VIEW ALL

BONDAGE

Taboom silicone supreme penis ball gag for bdsm play - peaches and screams Taboom silicone supreme penis ball gag for bdsm play - peaches and screams
5 piece dragonskin bondage set with faux leather lining - peaches and screams 5 piece dragonskin bondage set with faux leather lining - peaches and screams
Taboom bondage essentials doggy style positioning set - peaches and screams Taboom bondage essentials doggy style positioning set - peaches and screams
Taboom malibu whip faux leather bondage accessory - peaches and screams Taboom malibu whip faux leather bondage accessory - peaches and screams
Taboom malibu rose ball gag with adjustable strap - peaches and screams Taboom malibu rose ball gag with adjustable strap - peaches and screams

VIEW ALL

ANAL TOYS

Me you us inflatable anal plug with squeeze pump - peaches and screams
California exotic silicone pink crystal booty duo butt plugs - peaches and screams California exotic silicone pink crystal booty duo butt plugs - peaches and screams
Blush novelties silicone pink beaded butt plug with finger loop - peaches and screams Blush novelties silicone pink beaded butt plug with finger loop - peaches and screams
Rocks off 4 inch silicone black rechargeable butt plug with remote - peaches and screams Rocks off 4 inch silicone black rechargeable butt plug with remote - peaches and screams
B-vibe silicone purple rechargeable butt plug with remote - peaches and screams B-vibe silicone purple rechargeable butt plug with remote - peaches and screams

VIEW ALL

FOR LADIES

Xocoon harmony dual touch g spot vibrator - peaches and screams Xocoon harmony dual touch g spot vibrator - peaches and screams
Rocks off chaiamo gspot vibrator rechargeable silicone toy - peaches and screams Rocks off chaiamo gspot vibrator rechargeable silicone toy - peaches and screams
Xocoon everlasting love g spot rabbit vibrator - peaches and screams Xocoon everlasting love g spot rabbit vibrator - peaches and screams
Xocoon timeless love curved g spot vibrator - peaches and screams Xocoon timeless love curved g spot vibrator - peaches and screams
Seduction roxy bullet waterproof rechargeable vibrator - peaches and screams Seduction roxy bullet waterproof rechargeable vibrator - peaches and screams

VIEW ALL

FOR MEN

Lovetoy ridge vibrating penis and scrotum sleeve - peaches and screams Lovetoy ridge vibrating penis and scrotum sleeve - peaches and screams
Bvibe sleek prostate plug with vibrating p spot stimulation - peaches and screams Bvibe sleek prostate plug with vibrating p spot stimulation - peaches and screams
Jock tightening masturbator with adjustable grip sleeve - peaches and screams Jock tightening masturbator with adjustable grip sleeve - peaches and screams
Kylie rocket ultraskyn pussy masturbator for men - peaches and screams Kylie rocket ultraskyn pussy masturbator for men - peaches and screams
Toyjoy hero mini masturbator block textured pocket stroker - peaches and screams Toyjoy hero mini masturbator block textured pocket stroker - peaches and screams

VIEW ALL

Introducing a dildo into your relationship – Dos and Don’ts

  • by Katie Peachesa

Content Verification

Katie Lasson
Written by:
Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser
Veronika Matutyte
Medically Reviewed by:
Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor
Barbara Santini
Fact Checked by:
Barbara Santini
Psychologist and Sex and Relationships Advisor

✨ Key Points at a Glance ✨

  • 🍑 Communication is key – discuss before you play!
  • 💦 Lube is your best friend – water-based for silicone toys!
  • 🔥 Start slow and build up the tempo – no need to rush the magic!
  • 🧼 Keep it clean – wash before and after every session!

💡 Top Tips from Our Cheeky Experts 💡

  • 🌶️ Spice it up with temperature play – warm or cool the toy before use!
  • 👄 Foreplay makes everything better – build the anticipation!
  • 💪 Trust and consent – nothing is sexier than a partner who respects your boundaries!
  • 🔋 Check those batteries – the last thing you want is a mid-session power outage!

By Tatyana Dyachenko

Bringing a dildo into a relationship can be a touchy subject. If your partner has never used a sex toy he or she may feel offended by the suggestion to use one. There are many reasons why people are weirded out by using a dildo (see misconceptions about dildos) but the main reason is just plain and simple –
fear of the unknown.

Approach the situation with consideration for your partner’s feeling and be open to listen to their point of view. Here are a couple of things you want to steer clear of doing when bringing up dildos to your partner.

Don’t

Whip your dildo out in the middle of sex

This could prove to not only cause your partner to outright say no, but it may be detrimental to your relationship as well. Think about it. If your partner does not know that you have a dildo, he or she may feel like you lied or tricked them into doing something. This move might also make your partner feel inadequate since you needed a sex toy to secretly fulfill yourself. This will lead to hurt feelings, possibly resentment and the idea that you have a sexual advantage over your partner.

Bring up the subject at a bad time

Imagine this, you and your partner are lovingly holding each other after a mind blowing sack session. You gently cares his or her hair and then say, “let’s use a dildo next time” or worse the down and dirty deed hasn’t even started yet and you start talking about sex toys. Bringing up your dildo at the wrong time could be a serious mood buster and if the topic is brought up before, during or after sex it could offend your partner. Don’t bring up the subject when the conversation will be rushed, because it will not be worked through. Talking about sex is difficult for some couple and if you don’t allot time to for the two of you to express yourselves it will never happen.

Be accusatory when discussing using a dildo together

Never suggest using a dildo with your partner because you think he or she is not up to par sexually. A dildo should not be used to fix or mask a sexual incompatibility, it should be used to enhance already good sex. Stay away from phrases like “you don’t do this or that” or “you never . . . “ This will only make your partner want to do less more often.

Make your partner feel invisible next to your dildo

Finally, if you get to the point where you partner is open and willing to experiment with a dildo, don’t make your sex toy the star of the show, in other words pay attention to your partner! Show your partner what you like and tell him or her how it feels. Encourage your partner by putting his or her hand over your to control the motion. Most important, make the grand finale a two-person act sans the dildo. At least in the beginning, it is important to let your partner know that you are completely satisfied with him or her and only seek to try something new with the dildo.

Introducing a dildo into your relationship – Dos

So now that you know what not to do when trying to get your partner to understand why it is sooo great to use a dildo together, you need to know what to do to close the deal.

Remember, just because you haven’t said or done anything bad, doesn’t mean that your partner is going to be ready for dildo play. You might still be treading on thin ice, so be cautious and always compassionate.

Here are some helpful tips that might turn you dildo talk into dildo play!

Do

Bring up dildos in the conversation when you both are relaxed and comfortable

Make sure a discussion about dildos doesn’t happen when your partner is agitated. Sit down and relax or make a nice dinner. Set a comfortable ambiance in somewhere other than the bedroom, so your partner does not feel anxious or pressured.

Explain what a dildo is and does

As silly as it sounds, your partner might not know what a dildo is. He or she may have some common misconceptions about dildos that just need to be cleared up. Tell your partner the basics about a dildo and let them know that it is in no way a substitute for his or her affection, and only a way to spruce up an already fantastic love life!

Let your partner know that you are already satisfied with your sex life

Reinforce to your partner that there is nothing wrong with your sex life, in fact if you were dissatisfied you probably would have given up on talking about it. Tell your partner that you enjoy the two of you alone, but that you are curious about the way he or she could make you feel with a sex toy.

Find an adult movie that discusses and shows dildo play

Naughty Nina Hartley has made some sex for dummies-like DVDs that are great for any one interested in any kind of sex. “Nina Hartley’s Guide to Sex Toys” is the perfect adult movie for you and your partner to watch together. Laugh at and learn about sex toys together. Comment on what the porn stars are doing and express that you would like to try it too.

Find a non pornographic movie about dildos

Some partner might not watch porn at all or together. That’s ok. The Sinclair Intimacy Institute has created a video called “Making Sex Fun with Games and Toys” that touches on the topic of including sex toys in your relationship. The videos are put together by well known sex educators, therapist and researcher who have helped cement better relationships between many couples. As with the adult movie, discuss what is going on in the video with your partner.

Listen to your partner

If nothing else, listen to your partner. He or she has some very important things to say. Sex is a part of communication in the relationship, as is the conversation. If you don’t take the time to hear him or her out and be compassionate about their feelings and concerns dildos in your sexual routine will most likely be a no no.


Previous     Next
Our Community

Loved Across the UK

From bestselling sex toys to confidence boosting lingerie, discover why so many people choose Peaches and Screams as their go to destination for intimate products.

Featured Burlesque Performer Scarlett Tales

Known for her captivating burlesque performances and artistic style, Scarlett Tales explores BDSM accessories and restraint essentials designed to elevate intimate experiences.

Robyn Quinn's Favourite Finds

Peaches and Screams ambassador Robyn Quinn showcases bestselling vibrators designed to enhance pleasure, confidence and self discovery. Explore powerful favourites chosen to help you enjoy every moment your way.

Discover Love Eggs with Ella Murphy

With a loyal social media following and engaging online presence, Ella Murphy showcases discreet vibrating love eggs designed for excitement, confidence and hands free pleasure. Explore remote controlled favourites from the Peaches and Screams collection.

Trixie Blue's Lingerie Favourites

Award winning burlesque performer, producer and entertainer Trixie Blue shares some of her favourite erotic lingerie styles from Peaches and Screams. Discover confidence boosting designs made to help you look and feel your best.

TOP RATED

Most-Loved Products

Abierta Fina Open Red Lace Body Lingerie one Piece
Regular price£88.99
Abierta Fina Open Red Lace Crotchless Lingerie Set
Regular price£87.99
Cottelli Lace and Chain Bondage Crotchless Set
Regular price£65.99
Regular price£76.99
Regular price£79.99
Cottelli Open Matte Body with Open Bust and Crotch
Regular price£44.99
Regular price£62.99
Regular price£23.99
Add Order Note
Coupon Code

    Get In On The Secret

    Sign up today for exclusive discount codes and instant offers. Be the very first to shop our latest arrivals and secret drops.

    Bms enterprises rechargeable sultry warming wand massager - peaches and screams

    Someone liked and purchased

    Bms Enterprises Rechargeable Sultry Warming Wand Massager

    51 Minutes Ago From Glasgow