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How to Stop Being Horny: Effective Ways to Control Your Sexual Desire

How to Stop Being Horny: Effective Ways to Control Your Sexual Desire

Content Verification

Katie Lasson
Written by:

Sex and Relationship Adviser
Veronika Matutyte
Medically Reviewed by:

Medical Doctor
Barbara Santini
Fact Checked by:

Psychologist and Sex and Relationships Advisor

📋 Summary of Key Points 📋

    • 🔑 Control your desires with a little self-awareness and planning.

    • 🍓 Distraction is key—get involved in activities that keep your mind busy.

    • 💪 Exercise works wonders—release that energy in a productive way!

  • 🧘‍♀️ Meditation helps calm the storm—a few minutes of mindfulness can do the trick.

💡 Key Advice & Tips from Our Experts 💡

    • 👀 Keep an eye on triggers—be aware of what sets off those feelings.

    • 🍷 Mindful drinking—too much of that can throw your balance off.

    • 💖 Take care of yourself first—self-love is the most important step.

  • 🤸‍♂️ Change up your routine—a little variety can help keep things in check!

Feeling a bit too, well, “hot under the collar” lately? You’re not alone. We all experience those moments when our sexual desire feels a bit overwhelming, and suddenly it’s like trying to concentrate on a book with a racy movie playing in the background. Why do we feel like this? Is it healthy? And most importantly, what can we do about it? Whether you’re dealing with distractions, stress, or just that natural ebb and flow of desire, this article is here to help. By the end, you’ll have practical tips and tricks to manage those feelings and find a bit more peace in your day. Ready to take control? Let’s begin!

Is It Unhealthy to Be Horny?

Understanding when sexual desire becomes a concern starts with knowing why it might feel like more than just a natural urge. Lifestyle, relationship status, and personal distractions can all contribute to moments when you feel the need to control your sexual desire. But when does this feeling cross the line from a normal fluctuation to something that might be considered unhealthy or disruptive?

Barbara Santini, a psychologist and relationship advisor, explains, “It’s perfectly normal to feel horny occasionally, but when these feelings become persistent or overwhelming, it can affect your daily life and wellbeing.” She notes that if you find it difficult to concentrate at work, feel excessively distracted, or experience discomfort in social situations because of sexual desire, it may be time to reassess.

Santini highlights the importance of understanding these feelings within the context of your life. “It’s not just about wanting sex – it’s about how these desires impact your mental and emotional health,” she adds. If sexual thoughts start to interfere with your focus, relationships, or personal goals, it’s worth considering ways to manage them.

Many people misunderstand their sexual desires, thinking they are unhealthy or a sign of something wrong. Katie Lasson, a sex and relationship advisor, explains, “Desire fluctuates throughout our lives – it’s influenced by stress, diet, exercise, and even sleep patterns.” She notes that occasional feelings of arousal are completely normal and often triggered by natural changes in our environment or emotional states.

Lasson advises not to panic about a temporary spike in libido. “It’s when these feelings become intrusive, persistent, or lead to distress that it might be time to take action,” she says. For example, if your thoughts are constantly on sex, affecting your ability to concentrate or your mood, it’s a sign that you may need to implement some strategies to manage your desire.

Tatyana Dyachenko, a sexual and relationship therapist, adds a critical perspective: “Many believe that feeling horny all the time is a sign of poor control, but it’s more about finding balance and understanding your needs.” Dyachenko emphasises that it’s not just about denying your feelings but learning how to channel them in ways that are healthy and constructive.

She suggests, “If you’re noticing that these desires are leading to feelings of shame, frustration, or even anger, it’s important to address these emotions rather than suppress them. Understanding why you’re feeling this way can help you manage it better.” This might mean exploring underlying stressors or emotional triggers that amplify sexual thoughts.

Ways to Stop Being Horny

When it comes to managing sexual desire, there are various strategies that can help you regain control over your urges. Whether it’s about finding healthy ways to release energy or avoiding triggers, these methods can make a significant difference in your daily life.

Have Sex

Sex is not just a physical release; it’s also an emotional and psychological one. The connection with a partner can often be enough to reduce sexual desire by satisfying the need for intimacy and bonding. As Barbara Santini notes, “Healthy sexual release can be incredibly therapeutic, reducing the frequency and intensity of sexual thoughts.” If you find yourself frequently distracted by sexual desire, having sex can help satisfy that urge without it becoming an all-consuming preoccupation.

Santini emphasises the role of intimacy in managing sexual desire. “When we connect deeply with a partner, it can shift our focus from constant thoughts about sex to a more balanced perspective,” she says. This isn’t just about getting physical; it’s about emotional closeness and understanding. If you’re feeling particularly overwhelmed, setting time aside for quality time with your partner can make a world of difference.

Masturbate

Masturbation can be a temporary solution for sexual release, but it needs to be approached with care to avoid dependency. Tatyana Dyachenko explains, “Masturbation is a normal part of human sexuality, but it can become a problem if it’s used excessively as a means to cope with stress or loneliness.” It’s important to use this as a tool for temporary relief rather than a crutch for when you’re feeling overwhelmed by desire.

To avoid dependency, Dyachenko recommends moderation. “Setting a limit on how often you masturbate can help prevent it from becoming a compulsive habit,” she says. “Use it as a way to release sexual tension rather than as a daily habit.” This helps maintain a healthy relationship with your body and your desires, allowing you to manage your urges without becoming consumed by them.

Avoid Sexual Stimulation

One of the simplest ways to manage horniness is to limit exposure to triggers. “Pornography, certain media, and even suggestive social media can increase sexual arousal,” notes Katie Lasson. “The more we’re exposed to explicit content, the more our libido can be heightened, making it harder to control our urges.” Avoiding these triggers can help maintain a clearer focus and prevent constant distractions.

Lasson advises using filters or apps to block explicit content online and to be mindful of how media consumption affects your thoughts. “When we’re constantly bombarded by sexual imagery, it’s like having a running commentary in our minds,” she explains. By reducing this exposure, you can reduce the urge to act on those thoughts and maintain a healthier mental state.

Exercise Regularly

Regular exercise isn’t just good for your body – it’s also great for managing sexual desire. Physical activity helps release endorphins, which can improve mood and reduce stress, thereby lowering sexual urges. “Exercise helps to refocus your mind and body,” says Dyachenko. “When you’re actively engaged in sports or fitness routines, it’s harder for those thoughts to take over.”

Dyachenko recommends a mix of aerobic exercises, such as running or cycling, and strength training, like weight lifting. “These activities help manage energy levels and can distract from sexual thoughts,” she says. “Incorporating different forms of exercise throughout the week can help keep your mind and body occupied, making it easier to manage your sexual desire.”

Keep Busy

One of the most effective ways to stop thinking about sex is to keep your mind occupied. “When you’re busy with work, hobbies, or social activities, it’s harder to focus on sexual desires,” explains Barbara Santini. “It’s about finding meaningful ways to engage your mind so it doesn’t keep wandering back to sexual thoughts.”

Santini suggests filling your schedule with activities that challenge and stimulate your brain – whether it’s learning a new skill, joining a club, or picking up a new hobby. “The more engaged you are, the less room there is for those distracting thoughts,” she adds. This not only helps with controlling horniness but also improves overall mental health and well-being.

Shock Your System (Cold Shower or Ice Bath)

Sometimes the best way to stop thinking about sex is to give your body a jolt. “Cold showers or ice baths are great for reducing arousal quickly,” says Dyachenko. “The sudden temperature change can shock your system, making it harder for those sexual thoughts to dominate your mind.”

The science behind this technique involves activating the body’s “fight or flight” response, which diverts blood flow away from the genital area. “It’s like hitting the reset button for your libido,” Dyachenko explains. “Just a few minutes under cold water can be enough to make those urges subside.”

Meditate

Meditation is a powerful tool for managing sexual desire. “Mindfulness practices can help control urges by teaching you to focus on the present moment,” says Tatyana Dyachenko. “When you’re aware of your thoughts without judgment, it’s easier to let go of distractions.”

Dyachenko recommends starting with simple breathing exercises or guided meditation apps that can help ground your thoughts. “The more regularly you practice mindfulness, the easier it becomes to separate your sexual desires from your day-to-day life,” she says. “It’s not about ignoring these feelings, but about observing them without reacting.”

Spend Time with Others

Social interactions can be a great way to distract from sexual thoughts and manage horniness. “Building connections with friends, family, and loved ones can help reduce feelings of loneliness and desire,” says Katie Lasson. “When we’re surrounded by supportive people, it’s easier to let go of those distracting thoughts.”

Lasson suggests planning activities with others that keep you engaged – whether it’s going out for a walk, meeting up for coffee, or participating in group activities. “The more time you spend with others, the less space there is for sexual desires to dominate your thoughts,” she adds.

Minimise Stimulation in Your Environment

Creating a less stimulating environment can also help manage sexual desire. “Your surroundings can affect how you feel and what you think about,” says Santini. “If you’re surrounded by reminders of sex, it’s harder to keep those urges in check.”

To minimise stimulation, Santini advises making changes to your living space. “Declutter your space, remove explicit images, and reduce exposure to sexual content online,” she recommends. “By creating a calm and neutral environment, it becomes easier to focus on other aspects of your life.”

Focus on Your Mood Killers

Managing mood swings is crucial when it comes to controlling horniness. “Stress, anxiety, and depression can all increase feelings of arousal,” notes Barbara Santini. “When you’re not feeling your best, it’s harder to keep your desires in check.”

Santini suggests identifying what helps you feel grounded and calm – whether it’s listening to music, going for a run, or practicing relaxation techniques. “By focusing on these mood killers, you can keep your sexual desires from overwhelming your thoughts,” she adds.

Check Your Medications

Certain medications can affect your libido, so it’s important to monitor how they impact your sexual desire. “If you’re taking medication and noticing changes in your urges, it’s worth discussing with your doctor,” says Dyachenko. “Some drugs can have side effects that alter sexual desire.”

Dyachenko recommends regular check-ups with your GP to review your medication and discuss any changes. “Your doctor can provide advice on alternatives if needed,” she says. “Never stop taking a prescribed medication without professional guidance.”

Don’t Forget About Other Drugs

Substances like alcohol, drugs, and caffeine can all impact sexual desire. “These substances can heighten sexual arousal or, conversely, dull desire,” explains Katie Lasson. “It’s important to be mindful of your intake and how it affects your libido.”

Lasson advises moderation and awareness. “Cut back on your consumption, especially if you notice it’s making you more anxious or affecting your focus,” she says. “By reducing these substances, you can better control your sexual urges.”

Check Your Meal Plan

What you eat can also play a significant role in managing your sexual desire. “A balanced diet can have a big impact on how you feel sexually,” notes Tatyana Dyachenko. “Certain foods can boost libido, while others can dampen it.”

Dyachenko suggests focusing on a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. “Avoid excessive sugar and processed foods,” she advises. “By making these small changes, you can improve your energy levels and reduce sexual desires.”

Each of these strategies offers a unique approach to managing horniness, allowing you to find what works best for you. By integrating these tips into your daily routine, you can maintain control over your sexual desire and live a more balanced life.

Final Thoughts on How to Stop Being Horny

When it feels like you’re trapped in a whirlwind of desire that just won’t quit, it’s easy to think there’s something wrong with you. But let’s be real – we all go through moments like this. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about finding what helps you stay in control. Whether it’s stepping away from triggers, practicing mindfulness, or keeping busy with your favourite activities, you’ve got the power to manage your urges. Remember, every step you take is a step towards greater peace and balance. So don’t be too hard on yourself – just keep going, and you’ll get there.

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