Sometimes, taking intercourse or penetration off your sexual menu is key to achieving a satisfying, intimate, and arousing sex life. This is especially true if you are not in the mood for any form of penetration, rarely get to the O-town through penetrative sex, or are experiencing problems with erections or vaginal lubrication due to old age, illness, or disability. One of the best adjustments you can make to reclaim your sex life includes experimenting with non-penetrative sex positions or sex positions without penetration. These positions emphasize communication, oral and hand action which redefine sex for you. One good position you can try the next time you meet your partner is the Butler. In this article, we will discuss how you can execute this position, tips for making it better, and its benefits.

What is The Butler Position?

The Butler position is an oral sex position where the man stimulates and pleasures the woman with his fingers and tongue. In this position, the woman controls the play, allowing the man to sit back and chill out.

How to Get into The Butler Position

The woman will position herself by standing on her head at the back of the sofa, bringing her knees close to her breasts while the tips of her toes rest on the seat. The man will sit with his buttocks on the armrest, bending one leg at the knee and placing it on the sofa while the other leg rests on the floor. He will then lean his body toward the woman's vagina, using his fingers and tongue to give her sexual pleasure.

How to Make the Butler Position Better

Lube Things Up

If you don’t like the taste of the genitals, consider applying a flavored lube around the anus and vaginal opening before eating out your woman. The lube will also help reduce friction, especially when walking your fingers around her clitoris.

Bring in a Sex Toy

Vibrating wand massagers or wands can heighten the sensations in the Butler position, leading to mind-blowing orgasms. If you choose toys made from silicon, make sure you use water-based lubes because silicone-based lubes can destroy them.

Benefits of the Butler Position

Boosts Connection Between Partners

The Butler encourages physical contact during oral sex. This can strengthen the emotional bond in the relationship.

Helps Break Away from the Traditional Penetrative Sex

This position allows couples to break away from the traditional penetrative sex. The use of fingers and tongue in this position promotes touch, taste, and sensations, which can help partners understand where they should touch each other.

Heightens Stimulation

The angle and positioning allow the woman to experience intense sensations, increasing arousal and orgasmic pleasure.

Offers Comfort and Accessibility

For some people, this position might provide comfort they might not get from conventional intercourse. The position allows couples to give and receive sexual pleasure without the discomfort or limitations often associated with intercourse.

Keeps The Bedroom Warm

Trying new sex positions like the Butler can kick boredom out of the bedroom. As a result, you will stray interested in experiencing sexual pleasure with each other.

Provides Clitoral Orgasms

This position allows the man to focus on the clitoris, which can help them reach the O-town. In other words, the position is ideal for most women, since they rarely get an orgasm through penetrative intercourse.

Expert Insights

Barbara Santini - Psychologist and Relationship Expert

Barbara Santini, a respected Psychologist and relationship expert notes "The Butler position is a great way to build emotional intimacy. It emphasizes touch and connection, deepening the bond in the relationship." "Sex positions without penetration like the Butler allow couples to break away from the conventional boundaries of traditional sex, building trust and understanding in a relationship."

Tatyana Dyachenko - Sex Therapist

According to sex therapist Tatyana Dyachenko, "The Butler position can help partners understand how to stimulate and pleasure each other. It emphasizes communication and exploration of erogenous areas."  The expert also commented on the position’s focus on clitoral stimulation. "By focusing on clitoral stimulation, the Butler position can be what most women are missing in their sex lives because it prioritizes their pleasure and climax."

Dyachenko also said: " The position is not just about physicality; it's about the emotional exchange. It encourages shared exploration, which amplifies the intensity of connection."

Aftercare

Once you and your partner get an orgasm, prioritize physical and emotional care to increase comfort and connection. Here is how to go about it.

Physical Comfort

Cuddling and Embracing

Cuddle or embrace each other, heightening the sense of physical closeness and comfort.

Personal Care

Clean up the body fluids or lube together.

Emotional Support

Communication

Communicate openly about the thoughts, feelings, and any concerns that you may have experienced during the intimate act.

Affirmation and Reassurance

Give each other verbal reassurance, appreciating each other for participating. This allows you to strengthen the emotional connection and intimacy shared during oral sex.

Debriefing and Feedback

Talk about what you liked and did not like during the intimate encounter. This allows for mutual satisfaction.

Relaxation and Reassurance

Comforting Environment

Create a comforting environment by dimming the lights, playing soothing music, or engaging in relaxation activities together.

Physical Well-being

Check whether one or both of you is experiencing discomfort and address any problem. By doing this, you will help each other feel relaxed.

Reflection and Closure

Reflection Time

Give each other time to reflect on the experience. In doing so, you will allow each other to process thoughts and feelings.

 Closing Ritual

Try an intimate ritual with your partner like speaking affirmations or expressing gratitude for the shared experience.

Conclusion

The Butler position provides many ways of giving and experiencing sexual pleasure. This position emphasizes physical touch, which promotes physical contact and a better understanding of what your partner likes in bed. Experts like Barbara Santini, a renowned psychologist and relationship expert have talked about the position’s ability to increase emotional connection and trust in the relationship. Tatyana Dyachenko, a leading sex therapist has highlighted the position’s significance in helping women achieve clitoral orgasms. If you think the Butler position deserves a place on your bucket list, make sure you talk to your partner about it. Also, communicate throughout the intimate act for a more fulfilling experience.