CAN YOU BE ADDICTED TO LOVE?
The feeling of falling in love is a usual human urge. However, this desire in some individuals can be addictive. You know there’s love when you experience an adrenaline rush when you are about to meet the person you cherish. You may feel consumed by this person, bringing an addictive feeling to the love or the person. This article discusses the things you should know about addiction to love.
What Is Love Addiction?
It is an eternal, obsessive, and dysfunctional quest for romantic accomplishment. Romantic and intimate love is a fulfilling and beautiful encounter. Individuals in this situation may act regrettably similar to how alcoholics or sex addicts behave. Their thoughts are filled with the obsession of being in love and may go through basic addiction effects inevitable to them, including anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
Causes
Low Self-Esteem
The victim highly looks up to their lover to acquire a sense of self-worth, making them feel good enough.
Fear Of Abandonment
This is often seen when a person has been let down by someone they loved before and developed a powerful desire to console themselves, perhaps by holding on to anything, such as another love interest. What exists between them is codependency, which is mistaken for love.
Signs Of Love Addiction
All types of addiction have a basic diagnosis criterion, including romance addiction. For instance;
Inability to control your new relationships or romantic fantasies.
Currently preoccupied to the extent of being obsessed by romantic fantasies and relationships.
Negatively affected by the impacts of uncontrollable romantic fantasies, either directly or indirectly.
The Most Common Signs Of Love Addiction include;
Serial dating trend.
Uses love relationships to fight or avoid pain.
Mistakes sexual attraction for love.
Fears loneliness.
Easily falls in love, anytime.
Has trust problems.
Goes beyond the limit to prevent rejection
Surprisingly, love addicts rarely seek love. Their main objective is chasing love from time to time for an emotional escape sourced from previous relationships. Normal individuals understand the logic behind relationships; it can be exciting at first, but the love intensity calms after some time, though it stands at an eventually long-term intimacy. Nevertheless, love addicts feel like there's nothing like long-term intimacy. They easily hurry to find a new replacement once things don't seem to go their way. They optimize the time when the new love is highly intense to counter their emotional discomfort and stress. Love addicts' behavior is similar to how alcoholics use addictive substances to numb their pains.
Who Can Suffer From Love Addiction?
Women experience love addiction more than men since they are relationship-oriented and heavily invest in love affairs. Additionally, they may lack a sense of independence thus fully rely on someone else for completion and happiness. Most love addicts may have a history of abandonment, trauma, or abuse, even in their childhood. That said, they may fear rejection and seek the earlier lost attention. It also explains why love addicts lack the idea of a healthy relationship since it was ruined sometime back.
How To Cope With Love Addiction
If the signs discussed above are familiar to you, then there's a problem that requires an immediate solution. It's best to assess the problem and determine how best to get into a healthier love relationship. The following tips can help overcome it.
A Break Is Meaningful
Suppose you are facing challenges in your relationship, take a break and find out why similar things always happen. Perhaps you're dissatisfied not because you lack a need but due to not figuring out exactly what you need. Jumping into another relationship affects you and the people left behind. Why not step back and spend time with family or friends whose bonds with you can help accomplish other connections that aren't romance-related.
First Love Yourself
Self-love and self-worth go hand in hand. Lacking one causes addictive behaviors or dependency. It may be difficult to work by yourself on developing self-esteem, but the following recommendations can help.
Pinpoint Negative Mentality
Suppose you’ve always told yourself that you can never have the love desired by your heart, try to replace such words with a positive thing. For example, telling yourself that discovering your relationship wants can help you get it.
Do You Have Realistic Standards?
In case you don't, start by identifying realistic and achievable goals. Setting unrealistic goals mainly causes self-blame and critics after failing to attain them.
Reality Check
Be more realistic about your relationships and avoid idealizing love. You can get true love, but a committed lover can help meet your needs and give emotional support. Never expect them to do everything often. If you have developed self-identity in a thriving relationship, don’t lose it. It’s good to feel vulnerable and know when your partner can help.
The Bottom Line
Specialists suggest that everyone is a love addict because our existence requires connection and bonding to others. Not everyone is negatively affected by the need of a love relationship. You’re healthy and normal to find a new love interest, but no worries if your moves don't temper with others. Furthermore, there's another chance for your inconsistent relationship as long as you allow it. If you notice a high dependence on relationships to block bad memories, find a solution from a therapist or counselor.