Strengthen Your Relationship Using Love Languages

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Tatyana Dyachenko
Psychologist and Relationship Adviser

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Veronika Matutyte
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Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

People are different and they have their ways of giving and expressing love to others. This article describes how to understand the love languages and how to use them effectively to give love and affection to their partners. They include; acts of service, reasons for the five love languages, and guidelines on strengthening your relationship.

This love language applies to couples who don’t know what to expect in a relationship and understand the relationship patterns. Here are some of the love languages you should consider:

Words of Affirmation

According to Slaughter (2015), words of affirmation are said to a partner to show how much you value them, crave to be with them, and care for them. They come in handy to show that you appreciate another person’s worth and want to be with them. They include romantic gestures, simple manners, and words of appreciation.

Acts of service

According to Chapman & Campbell (2008), acts of service are the small acts of helping out with the house chores like doing the dishes and attending to the garden. Helping in taking care of the children will go a long way than giving flowers. This does not have to be only when the other partner is incapacitated but it is better to do it when both of you are both healthy. It gives the feeling of companionship and being valued and cared for.

Receiving Gifts

Giving and receiving gifts is a small act of showing love to your partner, as Joy (2001) revealed. This shows the other partner that you are always on their mind and they want to please you by going out of the way by gifting them with the things you like or they see will make you happy.

Quality Time

Every person in a relationship wants to get the opportunity to spend a considerable amount of time together with their partner no matter how busy they get. This is a crucial time for giving and showing affection. The couple may not do anything of importance or go out but the simple time spent time together may help to build bridges in their love and also maintain the spark between them, as McKee et al. (2008) showed.

Physical Touch

You are shown love when you are hugged, kissed, caressed, hand-holding, and having intimate moments with your partner. It builds a strong connection between the two of you and creates a strong bond.

Reason For The Five Love Languages

People have different love languages and each type of love language helps in maintaining the relationship. For example, a husband may be giving flowers or buying gifts but the wife still complains about feeling unloved. This is because the wife’s loving language is an act of service because she is left out of doing the house chores and she doesn’t like it. A wife wants to equally share the house chores with her husband.

This shows how you understand your partner's love language and love them in their love language.

Does Love Language Determine The Relationship

This will help in getting a deeper understanding of our partners and how they want to be loved. This will help strengthen the relationship in all aspects.

Guidelines On How To Strengthen Your Relationship Using The Love Languages

Employ A Lot Of Communication Skills

Learning how to effectively communicate with your partner helps in maintaining a good relationship all through. The couple may be able to sort out their differences in an amicable manner and still be able to express their likes and dislikes in the relationship. This will be done calmly without the partners feeling attacked and help to maintain their bond.

Communication is also the foundation of a successful relationship because it will thrive on pure love and complete honesty from each other. Couples are also advised to learn the tips for good communication skills.

Learn How To Empathize

Empathy is a partner’s understanding of another person’s feelings. Learning how to put yourself in your partner’s shoes will help a lot to understand them. It will give a base for understanding that they would not like to be treated in a particular way and also why they react differently when some things are done to them.

Being empathetic also shows how to value someone and carry them for who they are. They have their understanding of things and how they do them and this determines their behavior patterns.

Showing of affection

Understanding the love languages provides an avenue to give proper affection to our partners. This will help in showing our partners in ways that they value the most and this will have good benefits for the couple. There will be less arguing and more seeking time together because each of you understands their part and how they should do it to show maximum love and value.

Deep Connection

Once you understand each other’s love language, the connection that is formed between the two couples is on a deeper mutual level. Most of the time people always worry about what their partner thinks of them and if they are doing it right. Getting a deeper understanding of the relationship helps people not to worry because they know that they are highly valued and appreciated by their partners.

This also helps to create a strong foundation because partners always have the chance to rectify the mistakes before they escalate. This will edge out all forms of resentment that may crop up and help in maintaining a strong and working relationship that will give both partners the happiness and companionship they desire.

Conclusion

It's key to understand each other’s love language and love them that way instead of using ours to love them. This will help in rooting for the relationship and also provide a chance to show what matters the most for a relationship to be successful. This will also help in showing affection, better communication, having empathy for one another, and forming a deeper and solid connection. This will improve the relationship a lot.

References

Chapman, G., & Campbell, R. (2008). The Five Love Languages Of Children. Moody Publishers.

Joy, A. (2001). Gift Giving In Hong Kong And The Continuum Of Social Ties. Journal Of Consumer Research, 28(2), 239-256.

Mckee, A., Boyatzis, R. E., Johnston, F., & Johnston, F. (2008). Becoming A Resonant Leader: Develop Your Emotional Intelligence, Renew Your Relationships, And Sustain Your Effectiveness. Harvard Business Press.Slaughter, A. M. (2015). Why Women Still Can't Have It All (Pp. 84-102). Bloomsbury: Oneworld.