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Tatyana Dyachenko
Psychologist and Relationship Adviser

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Veronika Matutyte
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Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

What was the last interaction with your partner? Regardless of what interaction you had, high odds are it was not to compliment or appreciate your partner. This article highlights the importance of taking a step back and appreciating your man.

Although it is normal, showing your partner appreciation is worth it. Appreciation is among the easiest ways to keep a healthy and great relationship for a long time. Men and women should stop looking at the negative and focus on their partner's good side. This is the key to a happy relationship. Here is how to take a step back and appreciate your partner.

Tricks for Appreciating Your Partner

What’s Your Partner’s Love Language?

A New York Times best-selling article about the five love languages took the world by storm. This article notes that the languages define how to give and take love. These love languages include affirmation words, service acts, physical touch, gifts reception, and quality time. It is essential to understand your love languages and those of your partner. If you love being appreciated by words, but your partner gives a hot hug, you would feel better when told the words in a love letter or text. It may not resonate as it would if given in writing. 

When Appreciating Your Partner, Be Specific

General compliments include ‘You’re the best sweetheart,' ' I don't think I'd make it without you,' or 'Thank you for everything .'These are wonderful to say to your partner, but specific ones resonate more. Think more about the thing you want them to know. Create time and think of the specific thing your partner needs appreciation for and do it. It doesn’t matter what they helped you do, whether small or big, thank them and specify the action. The same applies to apologies. Govier & Verwoerd (2002) suggested that it is good to specify why you’re sorry. This helps your partner know how much they mean to you, and specificity mainly makes it feel real and tangible.

Don’t Forget the Small Gestures Throughout The Day

Getting into a serious love relationship may get you extremely comfortable that you forget to appreciate your significant other. However, it’s meaningful to create a few instants in your day to appreciate them. Say goodbye when they leave and hello on their come back. You can show how much someone matters to you with simple gestures, including kissing them when parting ways and meeting again. You can also say good morning when waking up and goodnight at bedtime. The little things make a big difference as they tell your partner how much you care about their presence in your life. Failure to use such gestures and little moments may imply to your partner that they are nothing to you, yet you feel they are important deep inside. The pro tip is to focus on those small alerts by making them happen. They're more relevant than you think because they help your partner feel great for being a part of you.

Consider Your Self-Care

If you can’t meet your basic needs, it will be harder to meet your partner’s or someone else’s. Quality sleep is a major consideration. While most couples in a long-term relationship get stressed about sex and finances, lack of sleep is also a point. Franzen & Buysse (2022) noted that sleep disturbances contribute to relationship disputes. Insufficient sleep makes you tired and cranky. You may become too exhausted to be nice to others. It can also make you feel angry. Several factors can be the reason you don't sleep. For example, making trips to the toilet or a snoring partner. Start by planning for quality sleep. Adopt the strategies that enhance a peaceful night’s sleep, such as making the bedroom cooler and darker for sleep, investing in a quality mattress, and avoiding disruptions that hinder sleep before bedtime. 

Have a United Gratitude Journal

It may be strange for some couples, but it gives a higher success rate. Keep a shared journal in the house and make it accessible for you and your partner. It can be the kitchen counter or drawer. You and your partner should write words of appreciation from time to time. It can be as simple as writing how grateful you are for them making the bed on a certain day. Your acts of gratitude will be shown in this journal. It's easier because you may not say some things to your partner, but writing does.

Never Forget Flirting

Flirting is an art of gratitude since it involves thanking and wanting someone. It makes your partner feel desired. While flirting may not appeal since you see your partner every time, especially in the morning when you have to embark on basic house tasks like dishwashing, it's easier than you thought. It may not be mysterious compared to your dating days, but saying something about how great their legs appear in a pair of jeans goes a long way. 

The Bottom Line

Most relationships begin on a high note with many tricks to keep a partner. However, it becomes problematic as time goes on. Knowing someone more makes them more familiar, and we’re likely to assume and take them for granted. Relationship therapists advise pressing on to keep it burning. This involves appreciating each other’s efforts in every move.

References

Franzen, P. L., & Buysse, D. J. (2022). Sleep Disturbances And Depression: Risk Relationships For Subsequent Depression And Therapeutic Implications. Dialogues In Clinical Neuroscience.Govier, T., & Verwoerd, W. (2002). The Promise And Pitfalls Of Apology. Journal Of Social Philosophy, 33(1), 67-82.