DOES MARRYING A MAN NEGATE MY BISEXUALITY
Being married should not mean that your bisexuality needs to be nullified. You can still be attracted to the other gender and be loyal and committed to your man. Some of the things that you can do so that you do not feel like you are abandoning your interest in the other gender include; communicating with your partner, introducing an open relationship in your marriage, and being vocal about your bisexuality.
Being bisexual is all about romance, and love. According to Robinson Rhodes (2021), it can also entail attraction to someone regardless of gender. It is all about being attracted to someone and seeing yourself comfortable with them in the future. It also involves the person you imagine a future with, even if you are married. There is always that character that draws you to them and makes you want to be in their space. It may be that you share a lot of characteristics as well. Being married to a man should not nullify that you are bisexual. This is the time that you should be happy and confident in yourself. Some of the ways that you can try to make sure that marrying a man will not negate your bisexuality include;
Communicate With Your Partner
Davies (1996) suggested that before getting married, you should make sure that your man knows that you are bisexual and get to know if it is something that they are comfortable with. At times, you may be attracted to the other gender, but the person you imagine yourself with is your man for the rest of your life. This made you agree to choose them as their partner. Talk about your sexuality and what it will mean to your relationship. Moreover, evaluate if it will affect the relationship. The fact that you are bisexual does not mean that it will impact your sexual life with your man. You may just be attracted to the other gender, but you are fully loyal and committed to the relationship with your man. You may envision what it would be if you had been attracted to the woman before you met your husband. At times, you may feel comfortable when you are with the other person of the different gender, even if they are being friendly with you.
Introduce Open Marriage Relationship
Once you communicate with your partner, they can decide whether they are open to having an open relationship in the marriage. The understanding men are likely to be okay with you exploring yourself sexually. They can allow you to have lovers outside the relationship, and they would not see it as cheating. They will see it as an alternative to monogamous marriage. Having this talk will minimize the possibility of harming the relationship with your man.
However, there are instances when your man will not be okay with the whole thing. At times, it may be that the thought of their partner seeking out lovers outside their relationship is scary to them. It may also be because of health concerns on whether they are safe in their sexual exploration. It may seem difficult to accept the situation, but this is the best fit for your man so that they do not get to lose you.
Be Confident and Accepting in Your Sexual Orientation
You have already talked with your partner about the fact that you are bisexual, so own it. You do not need to feel bad about it. Be confident that with your sexual orientation and that your relationship will be able to withstand it when you are attracted to the opposite gender. Nichols (1987) suggested that just because one is married does not necessarily mean that your sexuality shouldn't matter.
Your bisexuality should also matter. You can still be a faithful and committed partner to your man but still, be open to having sexual relations with the other person you are attracted to. Be vocal about the whole issue. Do not care about other people's opinions. What would hurt is hiding that you are bisexual and living a lie with your man.
Be Vocal About Your Bisexuality
Gone are the days when people used to shame people about their sexual orientation. Most times, people are afraid of coming out as bisexual for fear of being judged. The worse thing is that you will continue living a lie. Remove your mind from the thought of what will the other person think if they found out that you are bisexual. It is your life to live. Own it and talk about it. At times you are not bothered that people do not know that you are bisexual, but it is because they assume you are straight. Learn to live with your authentic self and be true to yourself. Ensure that your partner knows that, and be honest when you intend to include it in your marriage. Be open to yourself and others, and this will make you live an honest life with your man.
Conclusion
Marrying a man should not negate your bisexuality. Being married does not mean that you will still not be attracted to the other gender. Bisexuality is all about attraction and love and the thoughts of having maybe envisioning a future with the person that you are attracted to. You can be loving, loyal, and committed to your man and still be attracted to another person. The only important thing that you can do is communicate with your partner about your sexual orientation, and then they can understand where you are coming from. It does not mean that you are interested in the other gender, but even if you are, you can still find out different ways to talk with your partner and introduce the idea of having an open relationship. Gone are the days when marriage meant that you could not introduce any other partner into it. You can still be polyamorous, be faithful to one another, and practice safe sex.
References
Davies, D. (1996). Pink therapy: A guide for counselors and therapists working with lesbian, gay, and bisexual clients (Vol. 1). McGraw-Hill Education (UK).
Nichols, M. (1987). Lesbian sexuality: Issues and developing theory. Lesbian psychologies: Explorations and challenges, 97-125.
Robinson Rhodes, M. (2021). Bisexuality, multiple-gender-attraction, and gay liberation politics in the 1970s. Twentieth Century British History, 32(1), 119-142.