HOW FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVE CAN LEAD TO BETTER SEX
HOW FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVE CAN LEAD TO BETTER SEX
Are you dissatisfied with your sex life? Herein is how you can focus on the positive and experience better sex. Also, learn why it is essential to be positive and how to shift your mindset below.
Sex might sometimes be boring, especially if both partners don't cooperate. However, there is a way to make your sex life better by focusing on the positive. You may find yourself in a tricky situation where the time you are having sex reduces as days pass. You may also be struggling with complicated sexual problems such as erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. When such a situation occurs, it is not surprising that one falls into the downward spirit of hating sex. However, this article will get a chance to embrace your partner again with confidence and passion.
Where Does a Partner Begin Being Negative?
The brain is set to identify the problems in their environment and solve them. This is the case of the brain functioning in human sexuality. If a person encountered some challenges and problems when they had sex the last time, they automatically think that the same situation will be repeated. When that happens, the brain tries to diffuse the problem so that there is no longer anything to worry about when you are there the next time. For that reason, a person may start developing some negative ideas about sex.
When negative thoughts about sex emerge in the brain, stress hormones are released into the body system, reducing hormones responsible for sexual desire. If you try to solve the sexual problems you encountered during your last session, the brain begins making negative associations with what you are obsessed with solving. This is where the negative thoughts about sex develop.
When a relationship begins, things are always okay. The brain interprets your partner as perfect, and they cannot do any wrong. However, when love ends, things turn around. The dopamine levels reduce, making people pissed off quickly due to petty issues. When the brain dwells on the subject as the core of focus, negative associations about your relationship begin to develop. When the negative thoughts about your relationship become excessive, the brain finds it difficult to think of any positivity in the relationship. For that reason, the relationship lacks positivity, affecting the sex life to a large degree.
Why Must You Think Positively
According to Seligman (2002), if you want a positive outlook in your relationship, you must begin to take things positively for the brain to interpret them that way. Shift your attention from the negative things in your relationship to the positive ones. Although your brain might have drowned in negative associations in your relationship, you can save yourself by reminiscing some of the special happy moments in your relationship. The brain will start picking the positive signal. Start associating those positive thoughts in your relationship to mend your feelings.
How Does Positivity Apply in Sex?
Amihai & Kozhevnikov (2014) noted that arousal only happens when the brain is calm and one is mentally relaxed. If there is anything negative and stressful about your current environment, it will cause you to feel anxious and fear. If one is fearful or anxious, arousal cannot proceed in the normal way. This means that negative associations destroy sex life. The brain will try to find a solution for the problem or challenge encountered. What you need to do in such situations is use any methods possible to keep your mind on positivity. This will help you avoid being caught up in negative associations that will ruin your session with your partner.
If you focus on what you love and enjoy about your relationship or sex, you will figure out a positive way to increase and improve your sex life.
How Can a Person Shift Their Mindset to The Positive Side?
If your mind is used to interpreting negative things about your sex life for a long time, you will find it hard to change the perception. People visit sex therapists with a long list of negative effects on their relationships. Although it is good to identify the issues, the situation cannot improve if you have a focus on the negativity alone.
For your relationship to improve, you need to shift your attention from the negative things and focus on the positive side. What do you like about your relationship? What good thing do you love about your partner? What is it that turns you or your partner on? All these questions will help you start thinking about the positive things between you and your partner. Paring these positive thoughts with the exciting experiences you had with your partner provides the best way to shift your attention from the negative side.
The Bottom Line
It is important to shift your attention from negative to positive thoughts if you want your relationship to work and have a good sex life. Arousal only happens when the brain is calm, and you are mentally relaxed. If there is anything negative and stressful about your environment, it will cause you to feel anxious and fear. In addition, if one is fearful or anxious, arousal cannot proceed in the normal way. Switch your mind to positivity with the tips highlighted above.
Amihai, I., & Kozhevnikov, M. (2014). Arousal vs. relaxation: a Comparison of the Neurophysiological and Cognitive Correlates of Vajrayana and Theravada meditative practices. PloS one, 9(7), e102990.Seligman, M. E. (2002). Authentic Happiness: Using the New positive psychology to Realize your potential for lasting fulfillment. Simon and Schuster.