HOW LONG SHOULD SEX LAST: WHAT A WOMAN WANTS

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Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

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Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor

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Barbara Santini
Psychologist and Sex and Relationships Advisor

Sex should last for at least 7 minutes. Herein is how to find out how long women want men to last in bed, including if women want sex that lasts long and how a man can know if he lasts long enough for a woman.

Some women shun and condemn a one-minute man. If a man is told he's a one-minute man, and they don’t satisfy their women sexually. A man gets on a woman and is done - fast. The situation is that no sooner had they started having sex than it ended.' Being a one-minute man doesn't mean they have sex for one minute. The implication is that he ejaculates too fast, and it's worse if he falls asleep soon after because there's no chance for cuddling. Therefore a woman feels dissatisfied and depressed because a man has been dismissed as a bad lover and not masculine enough to satisfy his woman sexually.

How Long Do Women Want Men to Last?

Arafa & Shamloul discovered that for sex to be considered adequate, it should be between 7-13 minutes. Anything less than 7 minutes is not good sex . Sex that goes on after 13 minutes is too long but when you ask a woman how long sex should be, the average woman will talk about 30 minutes to 1 hour of sex. That is too long, but a woman does not mean 30 minutes to one hour of penetration. A woman means a lot of foreplay, and if sexual intercourse lasts for 7 minutes, she'll still be happy. Women .love to curdle during sexual activities. A woman will not refer to a man who can go on for long as non-masculine. A man who can have sex for minutes and minutes and an hour is the epitome of masculinity. Long sex is not synonymous with good sex. A man may be able to go on for long yet still leave his woman dissatisfied. The trick is in the foreplay. A woman may say that she wants sex that lasts for an hour, while she means that the foreplay takes up 55 minutes and the penetration lasts 5 minutes. The importance of foreplay can, therefore, never be underrated.

What Is Good Sex According To Women?

Good sex may differ from one woman to another, but the standard good sex has a lot of foreplay. Good sex means a man takes time to stimulate a woman. While stimulating a woman’s erogenous zones, penetrate her gently. This may lead to vaginal orgasms although some women don’t attain such orgasms easily. A woman may fake an orgasm but still be happy with the man because, for most women, sex is a means of relieving stress, and feeling joy and orgasm is not the objective. The objective is how they feel before, during, and after sex. The average woman is happy with kissing while having missionary sex every day. According to Thomas (2012), some women treasure the sensual aspect of sex more than the penetration itself. A woman will consider that as good sex rather than no-body contact intercourse of one hour with numerous positions when there's caressing, cuddling, kissing, penetration, and more cuddling. It's the quality of the sex against the quantity of time for sex to be satisfactory for some women. The sex with the most touching wins for most women.

Do Women Want Sex that Lasts Long?

Some women may want sex for long while others prefer a short time of sex. Some women want to have sex the whole day, others are content having sex no matter how long or short it is, but they are happy as long as it is sensual. Some women do not want sex at all. Women do not have the same sexual needs. In a world with billions of women, all women have different expectations. While one woman wants sex over 30 minutes long, the next woman probably wants sex that is 5 minutes long, while the other woman does not want sex at all. Every man must understand a woman without comparing her with others. A man may think that all women want sex that lasts for 1 hour, and if they can only manage a few minutes, they may wonder if the woman is content with what they offer.

So How Can A Man Know If He Lasts Long Enough For His Woman?

The simple answer to this is communication. There is no other way to know how sex is for the both of you besides talking about it. You may have all the assumptions, and you will probably research as much as you want about what your woman wants, but in the end, a woman is the only one that can give you the right answer through open communication. According to Gillespie (2017),  open communication is part of foreplay and women love it because it helps learn about a partner’s sexual desires. Where there is no judgment, and the couple can talk openly about what they want, they understand each other better and know how to meet their sexual needs. They also get ideas on spicing things, enjoying sensual sex, and not focusing on orgasms and ejaculations. They understand sex as an activity that they get to do to enjoy each other's company rather than an opportunity to achieve climax. When they can communicate, and a woman understands a man, they won't have sex set on a clock. They'll enjoy the sexual journey and understand that the goal doesn't always have to be an ejaculation. A man will understand the importance of foreplay because sex for a woman does not start when penetrated. Women may have different sexual needs and desires, but sex for women starts during foreplay because it takes longer for women to get aroused than men, as Richters et al. (2006) noted. She needs to get aroused to get lubricated and enjoy sex. There's a time when she will need a quickie, but usually, sex begins with foreplay for women and ends with a cuddle.

Conclusion

There have been studies to understand what people want in bed and what people should expect from each other for sex to be considered good enough or for the partners for sex to be enjoyable. How sex feels for a couple cannot be the same as how sex feels for the other couple. Sexual compatibility is different for everyone. A couple will achieve compatibility if they can communicate openly about what they need from each other and how they can spice up things between themselves. All the studies in the world do not mean anything. How and what your partner feels and thinks is the only opinion that counts.

References

Arafa, M., & Shamloul, R. (2007). Development And Evaluation Of The Arabic Index Of Premature Ejaculation (AIPE). The Journal Of Sexual Medicine, 4(6), 1750-1756.

Gillespie, B. J. (2017). Sexual Synchronicity And Communication Among Partnered Older Adults. Journal Of Sex & Marital Therapy, 43(5), 441-455.

Richters, J., De Visser, R., Rissel, C., & Smith, A. (2006). Sexual Practices At Last Heterosexual Encounter And Occurrence Of Orgasm In A National Survey. Journal Of Sex Research, 43(3), 217-226.

Thomas, E. (2012). Penetrating Tendencies: Female Masculinity And A Logic Of Lesbianism In Early Modern England.