Making your Relationship better After Baby
In 'relationship problems after baby" we've discussed that no one is immune to the problems couples face when becoming parents for the first time. However now we show you how to overcome the major contributing factors to bickering and how to make your relationship even better than before.
1) Defined Roles
Roles change after baby is born and many couples assume the roles of their partner without ever discussing it. Because the man maybe working he may assume that the woman will take care of the baby, the housework and the cooking and all he has to contribute is a story and cuddle at bedtime.
He needs to understand that some days the baby won't be put down, leaving you little time for anything else, he also needs to know that when baby does sleep you deserve a nap too. You're still recovering. Everyone needs to muck in as with a baby about no longer can you finish work and slouch in front of the telly, your job as a parent is 24 hours and so should theirs be too- (at least during awake hours).
2) Housework
You may work yourself to a nervous breakdown if you want the house to be as clean as it was before. However to survive you should prioritise. Does it matter if the skirting boards aren't cleaned weekly or the windows have the odd mark? If it really bothers you get a cleaner, or ask your mum! You could also cut down by asking him to drop laundry off for a service wash on his way to work, as with a little one washing and ironing tends to take up a lot of time that is best spent cuddling or sleeping.
3) Intimacy
Although you may not feel like it, you should make the effort as once you do you will feel much lighter. Try to fit something in during the day when baby naps before you both become tired, or show him you do still find him very attractive by giving him a hand job or blow job. If sex is a no go area due to stitches and wounds etc., try to touch as you pass, or hold hands and cuddle when you can.
4) Family Relationships
The only way to make in laws understand that you don't need their interference is to show a united front. If his mother upsets you he should be the one to tell her to back off and vice versa if your mum tries to take over. Only you know what is best for your baby and when you ask for advice it is up to you whether you take it or not, that's the whole point of it.
5) Sleep Deprivation
If you are breast feeding make sure you express as soon as you can so you can enjoy at least one night a week of blissful sleep. Choose a night where he has a day off the day after, as he'll understand why you sometimes need a nap during the day. It won't kill him to have little sleep as it hasn't killed you and who knows he may just develop more respect for what you do.
6) Talking
If you find it difficult to talk without interruptions, try typing an email when baby is asleep. This will give your partner time to digest what you've said and construct a reply. You can also chat when baby is on the shoulder being burped as the beauty is at this age they have no idea what you are discussing. If it feels like it may turn into an argument though, leave it until baby is asleep as they do pick up on tension.
7) Social Life
The phase of no social life doesn't last forever, remember this. Once you are out and about again you will appreciate it all the more. If you can't get out due to babysitting problems invite your friends to you. You can also make new friends by joining mum and baby groups and all sorts of activities from baby signing to baby massage, which will make you feel a part of the land of the living again.