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Most people have experienced regular massages, which put them in a relaxing state. So, how can you offer a sex massage? Herein are the pro tips for a sex massage, including setting the mood, massaging the genitals, and using erotic oils and lotions.

 Erotic massages or sex massages are similar to regular ones. The only difference is that they are aimed at teasing, releasing the tension, and decreasing stress levels in the body. However, if not well done, an erotic massage can cause pain and, in severe cases, lead to muscle and soft tissue injury. There is no blueprint on how to perform an erotic massage, but there are general guidelines that you ought to follow to put you on the right path. This article explains how to give a sensual massage. 

Tips for an Erotic Sex Massage

During an erotic massage, you should strive to give your best even if you are not an amateur in massages. Erotic massages are divided into two parts. The first is the actual massage part, and the second incorporates the sensual aspects. Below are steps to make you a guru at both.

Set the Mood

This part goes without saying and should be the first step before any intimate session. You can dim the lights to create a sensual mood. You can use candles as your lighting source if you lack a dimmer. Also, candles have a good aesthetic feel and will enhance the mood. Biscontini (2012) suggested that part of relaxation involves playing some relaxing music. Find a playlist or track that your partner finds soothing. If you do not have any in mind, you can play sounds of nature that most people have found useful in such circumstances. Ensure the area smells amazing, spray some perfume on the sheets and in the room, purchase a humidifier, and step up with some essential oils.

Use Erotic Oils and Lotions

According to Michalak (2018), massage lotions and oils are the most important part of a massage. The slippery feel of massage oils will allow your hands to glide across your partner's body gently. Oils prevent the tear of the muscle tissue, leaving the skin feeling smooth. You may use regular massage oil, but some are not supposed to come into contact with your partner's genitals. You may also opt for a lickable flavored massage oil that will not harm your partner's genitals. If you prefer massage candles to massage oils, ensure that the wax cools off before rubbing it on your partner’s skin. Massage candles are perfect for adding color to your massage experience. Also, if you are unsure about your massage skills, you can try a massage stone. It works perfectly as long as you steer it in the right direction and apply the required pressure.

Take Your Time

Make your session like a regular massage for the first 15-20 minutes. Do not do anything crazy like going for your partner’s genitals. Gently help them relax by focusing on the shoulders, back, and lower back. Mustafa et al. (2015) noted that using the heel of your hand to have an intimate feel of your partner's muscles. Also, take at least two minutes on each spot. If you feel a knot, handle it before moving to another body part. If you do not feel any knots, you may ask which part of your body feels tense and focus on the area.

Start Teasing

After massaging every part of your partner’s body, start teasing. Teasing is great for achieving pleasure. Most people confuse teasing with sex, which is not the case. Teasing is aimed at arousal, which you can gain in several ways. Instead of going for their genitals, gently glide your tongue across their clit or penis without touching them. Also, instead of sucking the nipples, massage them around the breast or graze your tongue gently across the nipples. Lick the tip of the penis but do not insert the shaft in your mouth. This increases arousal and gets your partner in the mood for sex.

Massage Their Genitals

Massaging your partner's genitals should come last. By this time, their bodies are aroused, and they are impatiently waiting for you to finish them off. Any light touch you make will earn you an ecstatic moan. You can start with gentle licks on the clitoris and then on the labia. Give your male partner a gentle hand job but ensure your hand is light on their penis. You may also use sex toys during this session or engage in a firmer hand job or oral sex. 

The Bottom Line

Even though massages are not a favorite for everybody, they are the preferred activity for relaxation by most people. Touch is the universal language of intimacy. Therefore, the brain perceives any physical affection as appealing. Many people have different reasons why they engage in an erotic massage session. A single massage can help in relaxation and relieve stress. When it comes to erotic massage, there is no one way to do it, but there are things that we ought to follow when performing one. You can try a lot during an oral massage, as long as what you do does not harm your partner. You do not have to be an amateur to give a good erotic massage. Start with what you have to get what you need.


Biscontini, L. (2012). Self-care: managing the damage. IDEA Fitness Journal, 12(5), 86-89.

Michalak, M. (2018). The use of carrier oils in aromatherapy massage and their effect on the skin. Archives of Physiotherapy & Global Researches, 22(3).

Mustafa, K., Furmanek, M. P., Knapik, A., Bacik, B., & Juras, G. (2015). The impact of the Swedish massage on the kinesthetic differentiation in healthy individuals. International Journal of Therapeutic Massage & Bodywork, 8(1), 2.