TIPS FOR TALKING SEX WITH YOUR OFFSPRING
TIPS FOR TALKING SEX WITH YOUR OFFSPRING
Society is highly sexualized. How can you talk to your offspring about sex? Here are tips for talking sex with your children, including being real, empowering your children, setting positive expectations, and living by example.
Sex has always been known to be a concern to full-grown individuals. However, in the current society, things are highly sexualized. Generally, this is enough to expose children to different sexual materials like images, videos, languages, and behaviors. Different things make kids vulnerable to sex, including hormonal changes. There is a certain age where it is essential to take your kids through sex and what they are supposed to do. This gives them the right perfective on sexual matters and prevents them from finding out themselves. From the changes they experience in their body to a sexualized society, you will always find a reason to talk to your kids about sex. So, how do you talk to them without any challenges? Here is how.
Talking to Your Kids about Sex
Talking to your children might be challenging, but you must do it at the right time. Here are some of the tips to consider when talking to your kids about sex;
Do Not Discredit Love
According to Chirban (2012), you should never discredit love, especially when dealing with teenagers. You should understand the essence of romantic affiliations in a teenager's life. Their feelings are also an essential element to consider when talking to them about sex. Always consider being on their side or telling them what makes them understand better, even if your perspective and meaning of love differ from theirs.
Do Not Abstain from Educating Your Children
Different people are connected to your child, and if you do not discuss sex with them, other people close to them will. Learn to face and talk to your children. Let them know your views on sexual matters than getting them from other adults, peers, media, or popular culture.
Talk About Sex Early and Often
When you barely have an open talk with your kids, do not expect them to believe what you tell them. Therefore, talk with your children regularly about sex and the repercussions. This will make them believe what you tell them, especially if it concerns sex.
Avoid Sexuality Conversations that Are All Don'ts
What you talk to your kid is what sticks in their mind. Therefore, when talking about sex, it is healthy to stick to the dos. Avoid the don'ts when having a conversation with your children about sex. Generally, never involve things like;
- Do not engage in sexual activities.
- Do not get pregnant.
- Do not get any sexual diseases.
Right Time and Place
When talking about sex, it is always essential when you do it at the right time and place. This will prevent you from contradicting your child. Also, find out what they want to know first before giving your suggestion. In addition, provide an honest answer to them. This will prevent them from looking for satisfying answers from other sources.
Sex is a sensitive matter and needs sincerity. Berkenkamp & Atkins (2002) suggested telling your kids what they want to know. The information you give them should be accurate. Also, consider using a simple language that they will understand easily, but respect their curiosity and intelligence. However, you should avoid talking down about sex to your kids and teens.
Empower Your Children
Empowering your children is essential, especially when dealing with teens. You need to make them understand that they need to feel honored and special in their romantic relationships. Also, teach them that it's all about giving and taking in equal amounts in a relationship. This will prevent them from expecting much when they don’t give enough.
Set Positive Expectations
Setting expectations must also be part of your talks; you should let your children know that they deserve better sex. However, this conversation is meant for teens. Discussing with them about having good sex gives them a positive attitude towards sexual experience. Also, consider giving your teens realistic guidance about what to expect in a romantic relationship.
Use Media (the good, bad and ugly)
The common teen culture and media provide much information on sexual matters. Therefore, focus on the media if you want to have a theoretical conversation with your children or teens concerning sex and relationships. However, avoid judgments and proclamations. This will make your children anticipate your overall reaction effortlessly, which is not right.
Live by Example
You can never teach your children something you do not practice. Therefore, ensure you live by example. For instance, let your children or teens know that you are in a healthy relationship. Also, let them witness their parents having a disagreement and solving things effectively. This is something they will emulate effortlessly.
Find a Surrogate
Talking about sex to your kids might be challenging, especially when they are teenagers. However, you can always find a trusted surrogate for your kids to have that conversation.
Build Your Toolkit
Building your toolkit is essential, especially when there is a need to refer to different sources when talking to your teens about sex. Therefore, consider creating a list of everything that concerns sex. However, ensure you only get your information from reputable sources. This will give you the right and accurate information needed when talking to your kids about sex. You can get your information from different sources, including support groups, therapeutic specialists, hotlines, or clinics.
Berkenkamp, L., & Atkins, S. C. (2002). Talking to Your Kids About Sex: From Toddlers to preteens. Nomad Press.Chirban, J. (2012). What's Love Got to Do with it: Talking with Your Kids About Sex. Thomas Nelson.