Content Verification

Written by:✓

Tatyana Dyachenko
Psychologist and Relationship Adviser

Medically Reviewed by:✓

Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor

Fact Checked by:✓

Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

By Ekaterina Mironova

A recent psychological study quoted in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (and at Salon.com) suggested that when it comes to casual sex, women are just as likely to sleep with men as men are to sleep with women…assuming of course, that their proposition partner looks like Johnny Depp or Angelina Jolie. It does make you wonder, in a post-feminist society where women no longer have to look for “providers” or suppress their sexuality, do they still go for looks?

What about men? Is it a universal truth that men always choose the prettier girl? The only universal truth is that there is no universal truth when it comes to appearance. It might be safe to assume that the majority of the single population goes after “attractive” lovers…until you start to consider what actually makes a person attractive. What makes a person good looking besides a thin body? Isn’t it true that sometimes you see a person who’s slightly overweight who’s still good looking? And haven’t you seen quite a few “slim” people that have had “strange” faces making them not so attractive in your eyes?

Yes, beauty is all relative. There are theories as to what makes a person physically attractive. Some scientists have volunteered the “perfect face” theory, referring to the absence of imperfections and a perfect symmetrical balance. Others though take a different route and state that looks are “attractive” because they imply specific traits that, evolutionarily speaking, a partner might want in a long-term mate. There are also those who speculate that physical attraction may be based on compatible chemistry or even parental patterns.

One thing is for sure—you know when you are attracted to someone! There are some people today who go to both extremes, saying that physical attraction is everything (the argument that suggests you know within the two minutes if you’re going to sleep with someone) and those who say emotional attraction is far more important. It is a somewhat antiquated statement to suggest that most women are only interested in emotional attraction, while men are solely interested in physical beauty. Few people are this extremist in their dating perspectives. Very often in life, we end up with people who fit our general profile and circumstances, not necessarily our “dream lover.”

What about recent studies that suggest men with low to average self-confidence choose women who they consider a less than a perfect “ten”? The point is, there are so many variables to consider when discussing the principles of attraction. One thing is for sure though: good looks and a magnetic personality in combination will always be more successful in dating than just a cute guy/girl with nothing to say, or a charming guy/girl with a “butter face.” So it can only help a single person to improve in both appearance (grooming, fitness, etc.) and in charming personality.

Looks do matter in relationships, at least to the extent of making a good first impression. This is why we dress up in public, put our best “side” out when talking to a potential mate and struggle to get in shape before summer begins. Yes, we do love our visual memories and love to envision our dream lover walking across the room and sending us the eye. Maybe it’s not perfection we are after…but we’re always after “good looks.”