HOW A LISTENER FIXED HER STRUGGLING RELATIONSHIP
Matters concerning relationships need one to be a good listener. To fix your relationship and be a good listener, you need to have empathy, be loving, and not be biased.
Communication has always been an important attribute believed to save a relationship. Well, it may work, but what about trying to listen. You may try to communicate all you want, but if your partner cannot listen, that relationship will not work. We all lie to ourselves about how much communication can fix a relationship. You should also try and be a partner who can comprehend the situation and get to listen to what they are trying to tell you. Being a good listener will make your partner feel like they can open up to you about the issues surrounding you. Some of the ways you can show how great of a listener you are when trying to fix the struggling relationship are;
Show Empathy
According to Keen (2007), empathy is defined as having an affective component. This involves putting yourself in the same situation your partner is going through. It would help if you got to feel how they are feeling and view the whole situation from their perspective. Suppose they are trying to tell you how the situation escalated fast and why they did what they did. Try to put on their shoes and see what they are going through and if it makes sense. You will often get that maybe you were exaggerating the whole issue, and you were wrong. Do not put your feelings first without seeing why the relationship is struggling and what the other partner says about it.
Show Emotions
Most times, we get wrapped up in our feelings and do not care about the other partner's feelings. You should, however, take into consideration what your partner might be feeling. Do not hurl insults at them. You may regret it after knowing why they were in such a situation. Be calm and ask them what they are going through and what drove them to the situation they are in. Once they have told you their issue, you will be able to show your emotions and tell them how that made you feel.
Do Not Be Biased
Do not be in a rush to take sides in a relationship. You should always try and c and how it affects you. You may be hurt, but at the same time, your partner is also hurt. Being biased will make you make decisions that favor you only. You may regret your decisions because you did not care to listen to the other side in the long run. When making decisions, make sure that you do it after listening to your partner. After that, you are free to have your own opinion and even make decisions with a clear mind.
Be Loving
Use loving gestures when talking with your partner. This will show that you care about the relationship and try to fix whatever the issue is. Make sure you maintain eye contact while talking to them. Your whole attention should be on them. Please do not pretend to be busy or be on your phone while they are talking to you. Make sure they feel that your whole mind is right there with them. Be gentle as you are solving your issues. Could you not raise your voice at them? It will put them off, and they may decide just to cut off the relationship you are trying to fix.
Be Generous with Your Time
If your partner tells you that they need to fix an issue with you, try and create some time that you will talk. Be understanding. It is not like they are never busy. They are. They feel like they should try and create some time to ensure that you are in the same position. Let them feel like you at least care about them and are willing to spare your time fixing your issues. After that, sit down and get to listen to your partner. Let them speak up first and listen to what they say about the whole issue.
Try and agree on how you are going to live. You might find out that you had issues because you could not spare time for a conversation. Tell your partner to help you with house chores. You will get enough time to be with them.
Conclusion
Being a good listener is always a great virtue, especially while in a relationship. When your partner is trying to open up or vent about something to you, you must try and listen. They can be going through so much in their lives, but the fact that they know they have a good listener back at home will always work well for them. It makes one feel valued, loved and cared for. If you feel your relationship is straining, try to talk with your partner. For the relationship to thrive, you need to listen and understand where your partner is coming from. Listen to what they feel and learn how to make things right. Just try and practice being a good listener. It will always work out for you.
References
Keen, S. (2007). Empathy and the Novel. Oxford University Press on Demand.