IS PORN GOOD FOR A RELATIONSHIP?
If you have just found out that your partner is addicted to porn and you do not know how to feel about it. Or maybe you are tired of your porn habits because you are afraid that your porn-watching habits will turn into an addiction. Herein, we cover all you need to know about porn and how it affects a relationship.
Porn is any form of magazine, journal, or film that is used to promote feelings of arousal. People watch porn for different reasons, some love the state of arousal they sink into after watching porn while others love to see the sexual freedom that porn offers. Regardless of how much people justify watching porn, excessive and compulsive porn-watching behavior can lead to addiction which may cause a rift between you and the outside world or your relationship.
Porn And Relationships
Porn is not immoral. However, De Alarcón et al. (2019) noted that excessive watching can lead you to sink into a pit of addiction. Also, even if your porn-watching habits are under control, it can be the source of squabbles in a relationship because not everyone is comfortable with their partner watching porn. However, studies have shown that watching porn and masturbating to it can be a healthy adventure for men and women alike, whether or not they are in a relationship. In essence, the topic of porn is on balance. The positives outweigh the negatives and vice versa; it is neither good nor bad. The only part where porn can be a menace is when it starts to interfere with your personal life, especially work, school and relationships. In essence, if your porn-watching habits are starting to prevent you from functioning like you normally do, it is time to seek help before the addiction persists.
There is not enough research on how porn affects relationships because the studies that have come up give conflicting opinions. Some studies have shown that there is a thin line between porn and a happy relationship; the more porn one or both partners watch, the happier they are and the happier the relationship is. However, other studies have come forward to show that watching porn harms any relationship.
Porn And Sexual Satisfaction
There has been a lot of research over the years that links watching porn to less sexual satisfaction. Often, the main point of contention is if too much porn leads to a whack sex life or if people with boring sex lives find themselves unknowingly gravitating towards porn. However, studies have shown that men who spend tons of hours watching porn have low-quality sex in their relationships while women tend to have a fulfilling sex life if they spend generous amounts of hours on porn.
Over the years, sex therapists have come forward to talk about porn, its effects as well as its many benefits. Most sex therapists and people in related fields believe that porn, be it excessive or moderate, affects the brain which makes it hard for one to enjoy sexual pleasure unless they experience intense stimuli. Infante (2018) noted that watching porn leads to excessive release of dopamine which sends signals to your brain thus solidifying the need to experience more porn which then leads to addiction.
Often, people find themselves wishing to enact some of the scenes they see on porn sets. If you ever feel the need to enact some of the scenes in any porn film you watch, you must take a break to manage your growing addiction or better still seek professional help from a certified practitioner. Porn, just like films, is staged, the participants are made to act to perfection to sell their viewers the secret to perfect sex.
The Link Between Porn And Cheating
Porn, especially if it has snowballed into an addiction, is the best path to secrecy. No one wants to have the “addiction” talk with their partner because often, the other party will want a divorce or a break from the relationship in fear that their partner has been hiding a lot more than their addiction issues. Zitzman & Butler (2009) noted that porn addiction creates a rift in a relationship and often, people do not open up to their partner due to the uncertainty of whether they will stay or choose to leave the relationship.
Most people claim that porn is the window to cheating or is the worst competition to their sex life. Therefore, when one partner discovers that their significant other has been basking in the bliss of porn, they may end up feeling hurt and that their sex does not match up to their partner’s expectations. If for whatever reason you feel that porn is doing you more good than harm, you should talk to your partner about your newly found haven. By talking to your partner, you might find that you share the same porn kinks which leads to more fulfilling sex life.
If you find out that your partner has been harboring their porn-watching behaviors from you, feel free to react in whichever way because at the end of the day, if your feelings are hurt, they are hurt. Address your feelings in the best way you know how and do not feel the need to hide your emotions because it will mean birthing a snowball of trust issues. If porn is not an issue to your partner but it is a problem for you, make sure that you table these emotions to your partner.
Most of the time, people do not break up due to the lack of proper communication in cases such as this. The break up because one party failed to communicate leads to guilt, shame, and feelings of inadequacy. However, all this can be avoided if both parties look at porn from a different point of view. Instead of viewing porn as a menace, they should be more welcoming because after all, it can be a source of immense pleasure.
The Bottom Line
Porn is any explicit scene acted out for the sole purpose of sexual pleasure and just like every other thing that habitats the earth, there is the good and bad to it. The good is that porn can be the window that allows you to experience intense sexual pleasure and the downside is that it can lead to addiction if one watches it excessively. However, people in relationships have different views of porn, based on experience and hearsay. Regardless, porn can rip apart a healthy relationship and it can also bring two souls together. In essence and as outlined in the article above, there is the good and the bad to porn.
References
De Alarcón, R., de la Iglesia, J. I., Casado, N. M., & Montejo, A. L. (2019). Online porn addiction: What we know and what we don’t—A systematic review. Journal of clinical medicine, 8(1), 91.
Infante, S. W. (2018). A systematic review of the psychological, physiological, & spiritual effects of pornography on males. Trevecca Nazarene University.
Zitzman, S. T., & Butler, M. H. (2009). Wives' experience of husbands' pornography use and concomitant deception as an attachment threat in the adult pair-bond relationship. Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 16(3), 210-240.