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Written by:✓

Tatyana Dyachenko
Psychologist and Relationship Adviser

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Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor

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Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

Did you know sex is not all about penetration? Giving head is part of sex, and it might be the best. Here's our guide to giving a good head; take your time, get into headspace, foreplay, it's for pleasure, use spit, and be patient.

Giving head means using your mouth to stimulate a penis or vagina. You're giving someone something, offering an intimate part of your body, breath, voice, and mouth. There are experts of giving head, and there are regular people who have to learn, and the only way to learn is by practicing more. It sounds intimidating, but it is the best sex act on your pleasure list. Taking up your partner's penis or vagina can feel empowering. It all comes down to preferences, but getting head is a huge turn-on for many people. The act itself feels like sex but with a different experience. They have to relax and receive and enjoy. It's not everyone's cup of tea. Here is exactly how to give a great head;

Take Your Time

Go slow, don't just dive in. and give a preface of what to come; the full range of body-on-body experience is yours to use. Basson & Schultz (2007) advised individuals not to feel like they have to fit into a prescribed or a script, which you may think goes like this make-out session, giving head, then possibly a rim and final penetration sex that ends in orgasm. You can do so much to get comfortable before your clothes get off. There’s touching and kissing, the most intimate part of sex. Those touches and kissing build up excitement, confidence, and anticipation. Friedman (2008) explained that most people feel insecure about their vaginas and penises since we live in a world where men glorify big penises more than what other men have. It's difficult to get out of your head and stop worrying about your dick and vagina to the point where you can’t enjoy yourself. The longer you draw your preamble, the less pressure you feel to perform. Go slow and let the moment evolve without an end goal.

Get Into The Headspace of Time

The best head givers are the ones who move ahead of time they are on a mission. You're there to suck and eat. You're In a mental position to give your head, and you've been fantasizing about giving your head. If you're not in the header headspace, you're probably not going to enjoy yourself and do a very good job. their pleasure starts with you. You have to be having a good time for them to have a good time. Have to prepare yourself in advance. You want your mouth to be clean. If you're there on a mission, you submit and close your eyes and enjoy it.

Foreplay

Easy tiger/ tigress, don't go barging in down there. Take your time and ensure you're both on the same page and turned on before you venture south. Don't expect to make her climax in seconds flat if you aren't used to giving head. Ask them what they want; you don't necessarily have to go down for hours; a few minutes of the good head can do wonders for your foreplay. Ask what feels good for them and if there's anything that would improve it. Make sure both are in a comfortable position. Start gently and take it easy; avoid being rough-looking where you will stimulate the pleasurable areas. Trusting your tongue and mouth to do the magic.

Giving Head Is For Pleasure.

All sex is for pleasure. Kleinplatz et al. (2009) explained that good sex is about doing what feels good for you and your partner, surrendering control. Giving heads is not all about solely doing them a favor; if you see it that way, you won’t enjoy it, neither will they. It's your chance to enjoy it intimately. In your mouth, you can feel every texture and throb it. Relish in the experience of it and go for as long as you want at that moment. Good head is getting what you want for both of you.

Use Spit

Your mouth will dry out. A good person will add their saliva and contribute to the store of spit at your disposal. Take frequent breaks; don't stay o them the whole time. For boys, rub his dick on your face, suck his balls, or lick. For the girls, figure fuck her or suck her titties while fingering her, change positions or let them take over as you build up saliva, and breathe a bit before going down again.

Be Patient

When you find out what works well, keep doing it. Avoid stopping because it can be very frustrating; take a break if you need one. Ask if one wants you to use your hand or fingers as well. If yes, ensure they are well before moving them around on or inside. Make them relax if you should do something, and please tell them it's their time to be spoiled; don't let them do something in return.

Use Your Breath

Suck in the air; it pulls your cheeks against your teeth and tightens the space inside your mouth, creating a vacuum suction that feels great. Practice breathing while your tongue is inside her or your dick is inside your mouth, and get comfortable doing it. If you have to stop, pause and breathe while keeping in and adjusting to do it. It will be hot for both of you. The natural feeling of your breath is what will feel great to them.

Don't Be Afraid To Push Your Limit.

Jansson (2003) explained that it's fun to push on how you can swallow his cock or how deep you can go inside her. Please don't push it too much, or you might hurt yourselves. Not everyone can do this, and not everyone should. It can cause tissue trauma, so don't be too rough.

Don't Focus Entirely On Giving Head.

When you think you have to deliver a good head, it will not happen. You'll get worried about your performance and your skills. Your thought will get in the way, and you will eventually call it quits. Instead, focus on your pleasure, mouth, and how this feel. Letting go and letting your mouth and body explore them and create better sex. Trusting your sensation may mean stopping and migrating to another part. The focus here is pleasure, yours and theirs.

Don't Use Your Teeth.

Avoid teeth together when your give head. They can get hurt if your teeth get in contact with their skin.

Conclusion

Focus less on what you think giving head should be and use what you've learned about your partner's body and what you already know about your hands and mouth to figure out what's good for them.

References

Basson, R., & Schultz, W. W. (2007). Sexual sequelae of general medical disorders. The Lancet, 369(9559), 409-424.

Friedman, D. M. (2008). A mind of its own: A cultural history of the penis. Simon and Schuster.

Jansson, B. S. (2003). Becoming an effective policy advocate: From policy practice to social justice.

Kleinplatz, P. J., Ménard, A. D., Paquet, M. P., Paradis, N., Campbell, M., Zuccarino, D., & Mehak, L. (2009). The components of optimal sexuality: A portrait of “great sex”. Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 18(1-2), 1-13.