The First Date: What to Do and What Not to Do
By Elena Ognivtseva
The “first date” can be an intimidating experience for both men and women. It’s a relatively simple situation that is somehow complicated by the genetic and social differences of men and women, who are suddenly and desperately struggling to relate to each other! One wrong move and everything explodes. Both prospective partners start to distrust each other and the romantic date dissolves into an uncomfortable farce of human errors. Hopefully some of these tips will help everyone out there to prevent that from happening!
Yes, dating does seem complicated. However, the truth of the matter is that the only thing truly complicated about the first date is learning how to control your emotions. Once you gain control over your emotions it’s much easier to let the date unfold at a natural pace. Your attraction will be natural. Your flirting skills will be more natural and your true self will be on glorious display. So let’s discuss some major points on what to do and what not to do.
What You Should Do: regardless of whether you are a man or a woman, good hygiene and good grooming is a necessity. Be interested in your date and brush up on your interviewing skills! Ask questions and listen for answers. Based on the answers you receive, the conversation should flow naturally. There’s no need to rehearse material or to put on an “act.” You should be yourself and be confident in who you are. Talk about things that are closest to your heart. Have fun on your date and cherish the moment.
What You Should Not Do: When you are on a date, although the pressure is on; just remember you are both probably as nervous as each other. You are presenting your “best foot forward” and trying your best not to seem like a nervous wreck or a self-indulgent jerk. Make a conscious effort to say something interesting. Do not simply agree with everything your date is saying. On the other hand, do not be too aggressive, too cocky or too flippant. You want to flirt with your date but not test his or her patience. Have the self-confidence within you not to beg, or “try too hard to make an impression.”
If the two of you hit it off and feel a deep connection, the relationship might just progress quickly. Most dating gurus and lovers with years of bad experience behind them suggest that you avoid sex on the first date. For men, this is rather obvious. Trying to force yourself on a woman who barely knows you is just asking for a label of “psycho.” A woman who asks for sex too soon (though the man might not protest too much!) is likely to turn a man off, since he now sees her as too easy.
The more you trust one another, the more the relationship builds over time. As you grow in knowledge and understanding of each other’s needs, the love becomes greater, the sex becomes better, and life becomes easier. The best sex you will ever have is “couple sex” because trust can inspire your partner to do some very wild things!
First date behaviour is relatively easy once you get your head and heart in check. Be careful…you only get one chance to make a good impression!