YES, NO & MAYBE SO: THE SEXY TO-DO LIST YOU SHOULD FILL OUT TOGETHER

Content Verification

Written by:✓

Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

Medically Reviewed by:✓

Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor

Fact Checked by:✓

Barbara Santini
Psychologist and Sex and Relationships Advisor

Getting to learn each other as a couple can be daunting. You might need to know every detail about your partner but have no way to approach them. Discussing and making boundaries clear from the start of the relationship is very important. On another hand, it can be hard to remember every small detail of the conversations you have been having over time. We have created a sexy-to-do list you can fill out with your partner to get to know each other better and activities you can do together. The following is the list in categories with the options for yes, if you are completely sure, no,  if you are not into it, and maybe so, if you are curious or open to it.

As you go through each point, take time to discuss it in detail. If you both say yes to it, describe why you are willing to try it. Suppose the answer is no; explain why you would not want to try it with your partner. If you choose maybe so, discuss why you said so, to what extent you are willing to go through with it, and make sure to have clear boundaries. Create a time when you are both ready to carry out the activities and put a pin on the maybe not points so that you can return to them later.

Technology

According to Hozdić (2015), smart technology has made communication easier between partners. We are always a phone call away. A simple good morning text can make your partner know you wake up thinking of them. Eikenberry & Turmel (2018) explained that technology also plays a huge part in long-distance relationships. You do not have to feel lonely as you can spend time video calling and going on virtual dates with your significant other. Fill out the following list to know the things you can be down to try. You can fill the list alone or do it as a couple.

1. Sexting.
2. Sending nude photos.
3. Receiving nude photos.
4. Watching the other one masturbate on a video call.
5. Making a sex tape.
6. Mutual masturbation on a video call.
7. Watching porn together.
8. Sexting while in the same room.
9. Watching romantic films.
10. Unsolicited or random sexy pictures.

Sex Life

Meeting someone for the first time and getting to know what turns them on requires spending time with them. It is also wise to know what sexual things both of you are willing to do or try out. Dating apps, for instance, can have a list of questionnaires, as Goedel & Duncan (2015) explained. You can fill it out to find your best match. For a sex match, you both can enjoy. Fill out the following list to know what you can or cannot do with your partner in your sex life.

1. Touching without asking.
2. Watching porn together.
3. Mutual Masturbation.
4. Giving Oral sex.
5. Receiving oral sex.
6. Fingering vaginal.
7. Getting fingered vaginal
8. Fingering anal.
9. Getting fingered anally.
10. Quickie.
11. Spanking.
12. Being spanked.
13. Bondage - tying up
14. Bondage- being tied up
15. Costumes
16. Threesomes
17. Blindfold
18. Public sex
19. Getting massaged
20. Giving massages
21. Being blindfolded
22. Outdoor sex
23. Sex parties
24. Sex toys
25. Role-Playing
26. Reenacting movie romantic scenes
27. Playing sex games
28. Dirty talk
29. Rimming- receiving
30. Rimming- getting

Sex Styles

Tired of vanilla sex or mastered that specific style because it always gets you to the peak? It can get boring knowing you expect the same thing every day. There are different styles to switch it up with a willing partner. How can you know if they are willing to try? Check out these different styles and mark the ones you can try or be willing to learn and try. Research on each and see if it can work for you.

Upstanding Citizen

You can start this one in a sitting position. Straddle your partner, lock your knees on their back and wrap your arms around their body. They then pick you up without separating.

Butter Churner

Lie on your back with your legs folded on either side of your head. Your partner squats and penetrates like they are sitting on you.

Spider

You will need to align your hips over top of him while bending your knees and place them on either side of his thighs. It looks like a crab walk but much sexier.

Spork

Try the spork if you're looking for another way to spice up your spooning time. Instead of being on your sides, lay flat on your back, and your partner is positioned right between your legs.

Cross Booty

Have your partner enter you while they are lying perpendicular to you; once they are inside. Separate your legs and arms, so they form an X shape with theirs.

Dates

Ideas can disappear from your head, whether on the first date or planning to do an activity together. Maybe going out to have dinner in a restaurant sounds too formal, and having dinner at home looks so usual. You can try several ideas once in a while not to get into a rut in your relationship. Check out the following list to know which ones you both are willing to try

1. Video call each other during a meal
2. Dessert in bed
3. Breakfast date
4. Morning  or evening walk
5. Play board games
6. Reenact the first meeting or date
7. Make a playlist together
8. Take the 5 love language test
9. Take the Personality test
10. Go on a double date
11. Volunteer together
12. Try something new
13. Karaoke night
14. Look at old pictures and reminisce
15. Make each other's favorite meals
16. Visit your childhood favorite place
17. Themed dinner
18. Plan a travel
19. No electricity night
20. Read a book together

Conclusion

As we grow, we evolve, and our mindsets and bodies change. What worked then might not be working now. That is why we constantly need to evaluate our stand. According to Gottman & Silver (2012), relationships require mutual input in work, commitment, love, trust, and energy. Spending time together is essential, but with time it can get boring. All relationships get to that point. But it will not be hard if the two of you are willing to put in the work needed to flourish your relationship. Lists like the one above can remind you of what the other person needs and what is important to them. Sex life does not have to bore. If you are tired of getting vanilla sex, why not try different styles? Fill out the questionnaire with your partner and see what you both are willing to try.

References

Eikenberry, K., & Turmel, W. (2018). The long-distance leader: rules for remarkable remote leadership. Berrett-Koehler Publishers.

Goedel, W. C., & Duncan, D. T. (2015). Geosocial-networking app usage patterns of gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men: Survey among users of Grindr, a mobile dating app. JMIR public health and surveillance, 1(1), e4353.

Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (2012). What makes love last?: How to build trust and avoid betrayal. Simon and Schuster.

Hozdić, E. (2015). Smart factory for industry 4.0: A review. International Journal of Modern Manufacturing Technologies, 7(1), 28-35.