An Extra Head in Bed - Fantasy vs Reality

By Elena Ognivtseva

A threesome is said to be every man's ultimate fantasy and if we're honest it's also high up there in our repertoire of things that turn us on in women. When fantasising in our minds we can remove the emotion and purely enjoy the pleasure without any feelings getting in the way.

Many women love the idea of an extra man in bed, with two pairs of hands and two mouths to tease and tantalize, ensuring her whole body is covered in lust whilst they compete to give her the best orgasm of the two. Knowing that two straight men want you enough to share you is enough of a thought on its own to bring many fantasists to climax.

Girl Power

However, surprisingly many women also fantasise about an extra women in bed. We conjure up images of our partner pleasing another becoming aroused at the picture before us. This scenario allows us to watch our lover in action from a voyeur point of view admiring his lustful looks as well as his aroused body.

Yet this doesn't incorporate the myriad of feelings when this fantasy turns into reality. The majority of us would love to please our partner in this way, offering an extra head in bed, to show him how much his sexual enjoyment means to us. But no matter how hard we try we can't seem to cross that barrier, separating our love from our lust as we see our one and only becoming thoroughly aroused by another.

Frank Skinner once said that at his height of fame he decided to fulfil his fantasy of a threesome, however as both women descended to give a little double fellatio their heads collided putting an end to any arousal.

If you do decide that you want nothing more than a threesome with a long term partner, be aware of the reality before dipping your toes and you may find the reality lives up to the scenario in your head.

Is Three a Crowd?

Many women think that once they offer the threesome, their partner will want them only. However in reality the term "threes a crowd" applies. Often one person is left out, and don't be surprised if that's you. One way to address this is to invite someone who is bisexual so you can be involved in both the male and female fun. Some people invite a lesbian, so the partner can watch the naked bodies, enjoy the feel of two women in bed, but ultimately only take the one.

You also need an open mind and to realise that although your lover may lust after this extra person, they're not in love with them, and the reason they are becoming fully aroused is down to you. By giving permission you're making them feel comfortable and allowing them to live out their dreams, so try not to see it as a personal insult if they choose the stranger; see it more as a job well done.

You must also adopt a sense of humour as there will be times when heads collide, people fall off the bed, and events don't run as smoothly as expected, by seeing it as a bit of fun, you'll probably have the time of your life.

However if in any doubt at all, or if the thought of sharing your partner makes you feel sick inside, trust your instincts and try to find another way to live out those fantasies. We have plenty of suggestions!