Are You Just A Booty Call?
When we finally feel that spark with someone it can be easy to be blinded with lust. I call this the sex fog, the mist that descends when the sex is so good at the beginning of a relationship that obscures your vision to the obvious.
It's easy to make excuses and to believe what we want to believe especially if we've been single for a while, however hanging onto someone in the hope they'll take it to the next level only wastes our time and energy that could be better spent on a man worthy of our attention.
At the risk of sounding like an old woman, it's difficult to determine if you're just being used in a modern relationship as women are much more liberated these days, often enjoying the sexual side even more than the men. So how do you spot the signs that this is going nowhere?
After Dark
With work commitments and families it is usually best to meet after dark, but have you ever spent any daylight time together? This includes day to day activities such as a supermarket shop, a long lunch or a lazy lie in. If he disappears like a bat out of hell whenever the sun comes up, he may enjoy the sex but he's not too keen on your company.
Special Events
You may talk about all areas of your life over a bottle of wine before you hop into bed, however has he had an important work do; a friend's wedding or even a funeral lately that he didn't think to take you as his plus one? If he's choosing to go to these events without a partner when they are chock full of married couples, he's got something to hide.
Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner
Has he always eaten by the time you hook up? Or does he take you out to dinner first? Someone purely interested in you and not just the sex will relish mealtimes as a way to get to know you better, but if he's filling up before your rendez vous, he has only one thing on his mind.
Social Networking
It may sound immature but whether you're fifteen or fifty social networking plays a huge part in all of your lives. Is he a Facebook friend or does he have an excuse as to why that's not appropriate right now? Maybe he's told you his friends will tease you or his parents hope he'll get back with his ex. Whatever the reason there's no excuse for not accepting that you exist on the book of face.
Waste Not, Want Not
A person who doesn't want or need to invest anything into a relationship will be quite stingy after they've got what they want. They'll know how many glasses of wine it takes you to unwind so will see no reason to waste money on champagne just to impress you. They'll rarely buy you gifts or even give you the gift of extended pieces of their time, quite simply you're there to serve a need and then disappear until the next time.
If you're happy with the relationship the way it is and you're also just using them to fulfil your sexual needs until something better comes along then there's no need to rock the boat, however if you're holding out for declarations of love and introductions to his friends and family, you may be waiting until you're an old maid when you could have been enjoying everything a good relationship has to offer elsewhere.