DOES MY LOW SEX DRIVE MEAN SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY RELATIONSHIP?
Sex is a sensitive aspect of every relationship and if not discussed broadly, it will affect the general working of the relationship and may cause the disintegration of the relationship if the couple does not work a way out on how to handle the topic of sex. The sex aspect involves how many times the partners want to have sex, how they want to have the sex, and what they would like to explore in terms of sex, and this is all determined by the sex drive of an individual.
Sex drive is what determines the level of sex and pleasure that will be experienced by a couple because everyone is different. This will only work for those people with high sex drives. There are two types of sex drives; high sex drive and low sex drive. a couple with a high sex drive will be a plus to the relationship because it will help in improving their bond and their levels of understanding. However, it's not a must that both partners in a relationship will have high sex drives. Some couples may be the opposite of it and one may have a low sex drive while the other has a high sex drive.
However, sex drive is not a much determinant in the relationship working or not, the examples where one partner has a low sex drive might be very stressful and depressing to the partner concerned because it will cause them to get pressurized on how to fully satisfy their partner sexually. The low sexual drive might cut across both ways because as one partner gets stressed on how to fulfill the sexual needs of their partner, the other will face the challenge of feeling unappealing, undesirable, and, lacking the sexual fulfillment they crave.
What To Do When Experiencing A Low Sex Drive
Do Research
In women, the low sex drive has been characterized to be caused by a disorder called female sexual arousal disorder. This disorder affects how the woman will be aroused to sex and it will cause them to have a low sex drive. This condition can occur in women in the premenopausal phase and menopausal phase. The good thing with this condition is that it can be treated medically and the woman will go back to normal in enjoying her sexual pleasure and fulfillment.
Therapy
According to Glick et al. (2004), partners could opt to go for individual or couple therapy to counter the low sex drive issue before it escalates to something that will lead to a breakup. Also, communication will work a long way to help in placing the couple in a better position to improve their sexual bonds and spark new desires and fantasies that have never been explored before.
Consulting a Doctor
This is a good time to look for medical help. According to Bronner et al. (2020), you could consult a doctor when the low sex drive becomes an issue that will lead the relationship to sink. This is not limited to one doctor only, there is a broad group of medical professionals who may help in this. They include a gynecologist, primary doctor, or a psychologist. They will assess the overall condition of the body, and the reproductive organs and also check for the emotional and mental for you. They will assess and advise accordingly on what to do in regards to the sex drive.
The doctor may be consulted when the low sex drive is affecting the relationship because sex and intimacy and the relationship are easily connected and the failure of one will lead to the failure of the other. This will also present making the partner think that they are not sexually appealing to their partner which diminishes their esteem. Some of these conditions affecting the sexual drive are medical and can be treated by medicine, as DeLamater & Sill (2005) stated.
Also, low sex drive reduces your quality of life where the person experiencing the low sex drive will spend most of the time wondering why they are going through that and they may fall into depression and a lot of self-esteem issues, as Ainsworth (2009) showed. The person may also have the feeling of not wanting to do anything, not wanting to associate with others and this will reduce their competence because they spend most of their time by themselves.
Consultation of a doctor may also work if the home alternatives have proved futile. This will warrant the need to consult a doctor before it worsens the condition someone is in.
Communication
Having a low sex drive is not something that should make one ashamed and shy. However, when a person experiences this, they should open up to their partner and explain to them their condition. While having a low sex drive will reduce the communication in the relationship, it will suppress the intimacy levels between the two partners, and put a negative impact on their partners. This can be changed with the following remedies.
- Engaging in a lot of foreplay where the couple has a day set aside for foreplay only where they will only satisfy each other without sexual intercourse.
- Using sex toys, wearing lingerie, and any other thing that can entice and stimulate the couple for sex.
- Trying cosplay and any other fun games and activities in bed to increase the urge to have sex.
Building up your sex drive does not happen overnight or in a few days. It will naturally come back or it will have to be intervened medically to give the desired effects. This is not a death sentence that will make the two partners fall out with each other but with enough support from each other, understanding why the condition came and what can be done to reverse it. The couple will be happy with what they face and the sex drive will come back and they will enjoy sexual satisfaction.
Conclusion
Low sex drive is common among men and women. Sek a sex therapist to help with your condition to help maintain a healthy relationship.
References
Ainsworth, P. (2009). Understanding Depression. Univ. Press Of Mississippi.
Bronner, G., Elran, E., Golomb, J., & Korczyn, A. (2010). Female Sexuality In Multiple Sclerosis: The Multidimensional Nature Of The Problem And The Intervention. Acta Neurologica Scandinavica, 121(5), 289-301.
Delamater, J. D., & Sill, M. (2005). Sexual Desire In Later Life. Journal Of Sex Research, 42(2), 138-149.Glick, I. D., Berman, E. M., & Clarkin, J. F. (2003). Marital And Family Therapy. American Psychiatric Pub.