SEX THERAPY: A BEGINNER’S GUIDE

Sex helps create a bond between couples. Some questions involving sex therapy include; what is sex therapy? What's the work of a sex therapist? Does sex therapy work?

Sex is always a difficult topic for couples and everyone in general. Whether people like it or not, sex plays a great role in people’s lives. Admitting to having sexual issues in a relationship is always a difficult topic to discuss. This should never be the case, as that would mean you are suffering in silence when you can seek help as it is readily available. You need to have some time and get to a point where you need help and seek therapy. Sex therapy is always accessible to those who have issues in their sex life and the ones who want to improve their sex life. Get rid of the stigma associated with the shame of seeking help because of your sex life.

What Is Sex Therapy?

Patients have issues with engaging in sexual activities, struggle with the thought of whether they have received pleasure, or find it hard to focus when they are in the moment. This is where sex therapy comes through. It helps couples mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Sex therapy can be misunderstood if not well delivered. The therapist will only counsel you but will not involve themselves physically in the sexual activities. They will let you discuss your feelings and that of your partners; your experiences help you discover yourself and change the damaging thoughts of your sexual life. They may find out that your sex life has biological issues and may refer you for other treatments that will help you solve your situation. According to Ward (2002), some people rely on sex therapy to get through their sexual life and build a strong foundation.

What’s The Work of a Sex Therapist?

According to Perelman (2001), sex therapists are people with a master’s in counseling, psychology, or any issues concerning the mental health of a human being. Some are very professional in matters concerning sex. These are the ones that are relied upon when it comes to matters concerning sex. Those who visit a sex therapist first are told to discuss their sexual issues first and their lives before giving solutions to their problems. The sex therapist will get to know the patient first and know their history.

The questions might seem a bit personal, but they need to know the cause of your issues. According to Rubin et al. (2003), some of the sexual issues may be brought about by the fact that both or one of you had a past trauma interfering with your life. You may also have been in unhealthy or toxic relationships that do not work for you. These may be the root of all the problems surrounding your sexual life.

The sex therapist should not be judgmental but try and listen to the issues that you have to help solve them. That is a cue that you need to look for another therapist if you feel they are judging you. They will use the discernment they gained and try to solve your issues positively. They will ensure they have helped you so that it will be easier to connect with your partner or future partner sexually. Gridley (2006) stated that sex therapists are trained to listen, examine and suggest methods in which you can try to improve your sex life and the relationship you have with your partner. This will help you overcome the traumas from your past and eliminate the thoughts that relationships should be toxic.

Does It Work

For sex therapy to work, it all depends on the part that the patient plays. It is supposed to work. The patient needs to put in a lot of work to be successful. After all, they are the ones that are seeking that help. The patient should be willing to talk about their past traumas or their toxic relationship with the therapist. They should build that trust with them, making it possible to get to the root cause of what is affecting them sexually. The most realistic thing that a patient should have is willing to be helped and talk through their issues. That is the only way they are going to be helped.

The only way that therapy will be successful is if they notice some change in their sexual life with themselves and their partner. It will work best for the individuals or partners who are truly invested in making it work for it to be successful. Sex therapy proves to be successful, especially for those that have sought it as the only option to save their relationship. This should not be the case, but it is the only option left at times. It is encouraged that sex therapy should only be seen as a supportive measure than as the last effort to save a relationship. It is always right to seek therapy during the early stages when you feel like your sex life is in a stumble. This will make it easier to correct the issue earlier than wait for it to worsen, and you have difficulties salvaging the relationship.

Conclusion

Sexual issues or difficulties have different root causes. Some may be from past traumas, while others may stem from toxic and unhealthy relationships. It is always okay to talk to your partner and let them visit the sex therapist together with you. Discuss your history and talk about what has been the main problem in your sex life. The therapist will examine the issue and try to come up with ways in which you can solve your issues. Sex therapy may work perfectly for you if you both put in the work to save the relationship. The success rate will depend on your ability to put in work together. You may improve your sex life more than you had previously. Ensure to open up the scariest issues to a therapist although it may be difficult. Consider going to a sex therapist with your partner for mutual sex therapy. There’s nothing to be ashamed of and couples should embrace sex therapy for better sex life.

References

Gridley, C. G. (2006). Integrating Sex Therapy And Couple Therapy In The Treatment Of Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder: An Attachment-Based Approach. Alliant International University, San Francisco Bay.

Perelman, M. A. (2001). The Impact Of The New Sexual Pharmaceuticals On Sex Therapy. Current Psychiatry Reports, 3(3), 195-201.

Rubin, S. S., Malkinson, R., & Witztum, E. (2003). Trauma And Bereavement: Conceptual And Clinical Issues Revolving Around Relationships. Death Studies, 27(8), 667-690.

Ward, T. (2002). Good Lives And The Rehabilitation Of Offenders: Promises And Problems. Aggression And Violent Behavior, 7(5), 513-528.