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Have you ever had sex that was so bad that you did not even want to have another go at it?  Various things can ruin our sex lives, including a bad diet, sleeping habits, bad or no foreplay, busy schedules, and low self-esteem.

Sex is an important activity in our lives. Most people yearn for good sex and they are trying to find ways to make their sex life more exciting. We all want to have sex that is enjoyable, sensual, and results in orgasms. Sex should leave us feeling good and looking forward to the next session. The following are the main culprits responsible for ruining our sex lives.

A Bad Diet

Junk food is highly responsible for overweight. According to Latner et al. (2005), being overweight affects your flexibility in the bedroom and male sexual health. Overweight women have issues when trying to conceive. Moreover, being overweight leads to breathing difficulties. This is caused by the junk food’s fat lining, narrowing the blood vessels and affecting blood flow. Good blood flow is important during sex because it allows you to breathe properly. Your sex life will soon be worse if your diet is bad. Have a healthier diet and watch your sexual life improve.

Bad Sleeping Habits

You need sufficient sleep to enjoy sex. An adult should have at least 8 hours of sleep. Anything less than that will be bad for your health and sex life. Good sleep helps you to relax.  Cho & Duffy (2019) showed that people who sleep more have better sex. According to the study, lack of sleep has been blamed for erectile dysfunction. When you do not sleep well, you usually feel grumpy because your body is tired and stressed out. Moreover, being in a bad mood will only cause conflicts between you and your partner because you feel irritated. We need to sleep to be in a good mood to enjoy sex.

Bad Or No Foreplay

Bad foreplay and no foreplay are the same because they cause insufficient lubrication. Women do not enjoy sex with less lubrication because sex can sometimes be painful. A couple will not be able to try some positions because the woman is not ready to have sex and, therefore, not enjoy it. Women take longer than men to get aroused. Using lubes may be a solution. It should be sensual for a woman to enjoy sex. There is no shortcut to having good sex. Incorporate awesome foreplay for improved sex life.

Busy Schedules

A person can be too busy to have sex. They shelve away sex altogether because it is taking some of their time, and that will be the first step towards sex problems like low or no libido. All they want to do is work. When they have sex, they still think about deadlines they have not met. There should be a balance. Give your sex life as much attention as you give your work because they are equally important to you.

Sex Routine

Good sex is spontaneous. Steinem (1995) advised couples to break the monotony and enjoy good sex. It should not be mandatory that you always have sex in that bed with the same style. Sometimes, switch things up. Predictable sex is boring. Surprise your partners with sex in the bathroom, kitchen, or living room. You can also book a room somewhere and have sex there.

No Or Poor Communication

When a couple is good at communicating, that translates to good sex. The couple understands each other and has mutual goals. The sex that the couple will have will be more fulfilling than the one between a couple with communication issues. Couples should be open with each other. Imagine having sex with a woman who feels pain during penetration, and the man does not even know? The woman will not be able to participate fully during sex. She may even hate it and the man altogether. This will gradually lead to resentment. If she were to communicate her problem to the man and the man was understanding, they would know what to change. They would probably use lubrication or improve on the foreplay. But if they are silent, then the sex life will be silent too. 

Low self-esteem

If a partner has self-esteem issues, they will not enjoy sex. If someone feels awkward while naked because they are not proud of their body, they will engage their partner in awkward sex. During sex, confidence is very important. If you love your body and are confident about the person you are, you are likely to send positive energy to your partner, which is the energy needed during sex. People who have low self-esteem cannot enjoy sex. They are too conscious about themselves to enjoy sex.


Sex has been described as a basic need by some people. According to Meston (2007), people have sex to relax, relieve sexual tension, and sometimes to release sexual desires. People have come to discover that sex can be enjoyable. You do not want to have a sex life that does not make you feel good. Sex should make you feel good, thanks to the biological chemicals and hormones released during sexual intercourse. After sex, you should be feeling so good that you look forward to having it again. However, it may change your attitude towards sex if it is ruined.


Meston, C. M., & Buss, D. M. (2007). Why Humans Have Sex. Archives of Sexual 

Behavior36(4), 477-507.

Latner, J. D., Stunkard, A. J., & Wilson, G. T. (2005). Stigmatized Students: Age, Sex, and 

Ethnicity Effects in the Stigmatization of Obesity. Obesity Research, 13(7), 1226-1231.

Cho, J. W., & Duffy, J. F. (2019). Sleep, Sleep Disorders, and Sexual Dysfunction. The 

World Journal of Men's Health, 37(3), 261-275.

Steinem, G. (1995). Moving Beyond Words: Age, Rage, Sex, Power, Money, Muscles: Breaking 

Boundaries of Gender. Simon and Schuster.