HERE’S EVERYTHING YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE YOU HAVE SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME

Content Verification

Written by:✓

Tatyana Dyachenko
Psychologist and Relationship Adviser

Medically Reviewed by:✓

Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor

Fact Checked by:✓

Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

First-time sex is not what you expect it to be most of the time. Different people share different opinions on first-time sex, and how it never matched their expectations. However, there are certain things you ought to know before you can go ahead and have your first sex. Understanding this will help you know what to expect and how to be prepared.

You think it's about time to bite the forbidden fruit and join the rest on the other side. While having sex was forbidden until marriage, these days, sex is such an ordinary thing that even teenagers indulge in it. Breaking your virginity or having sex for the first time comes with a lot. You are often faced with a load of anxiety, anticipation, and stress. Whether you are a teenager or an adult, you will face these feelings. You have planned to knack someone on a particular day, but you know that that will be your first ever fling. Some questions will linger in your mind when about to have sex for the first time, and you will be worried regardless of your gender. Here are some things to note before having sex for the first time.

Your Body Will Remain The Same.

Sex is a normal part of life, and there is no need to make a big deal out of it. Whether you are a first-timer or not, your body will not necessarily change. These are worries that most girls face where they are worried about their walking style, their glow, how they'll stand, or any other thing after sex. The changes that will be there will be in your genitals, especially when you are aroused. You might experience feeling flushed, a swollen vulva, or an erect penis in the case of men. These signs are generally temporary and will be off. These signs suggest that you are sexually active. Lash out the other myths you've heard about body changes after sex; they aren't true.

Safe Sex Is Important

You need to be cautious even if you are having sex for the first time. The use of protection and contraceptives is not to prevent pregnancy only. According to Curtis et al. (2004), sex will involve sharing body fluids, and you are potentially at risk. You are at the risk of pregnancy and Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) and Urinary Tract Infections (UTIs). You are also at risk of contracting HIV/AIDS. Take extra precautions when having sex, whether it's with a single partner or multiple partners. It's better safe than sorry, and this is your health on the line. The last thing you want is to contract a disease or infection on your first fling.

It Should Not Be Painful

There are a lot of myths and misconceptions out there about sex, especially when it comes to the breaking of virginity. However, there are some truths about some pain on the girl's side, especially if it's the first penetration, whether the finger or penis. This pain should not be exaggerated, and not everyone experiences pain. Also, reduced lubrication can be affected by several factors, including anxiety, that can induce pain, as Qureshi et al. (2017) discussed. However, if the sex is vigorous, a girl might feel pain, but naturally, the pain should be minute. The key here is consent and being honest about your feelings. A few more times in sex, and it will feel like it is supposed to be.

Orgasms May Take Time Or Not.

Orgasm is a complicated thing, especially for a first-timer. This is one very worrying factor, especially in the case of men. It's the pressure to perform and not be labeled "the one-minute man" because you ejaculated sooner than you expected. Heiman (2007) showed that orgasm can also take time, especially for women, if they are not properly aroused. Both of these scenarios are normal, which should not stress you out. Keep in mind that it's your first time and you have not mastered the art of sex yet or fully understood your body yet, sexually.

It Is Possible To Get Pregnant.

Nothing changes whether you are having sex for the first time or you've had sex several times. You can still get pregnant on your first dip to sex, and who wants that. Your sexual system is still working, and any exposure of sperms into or near the vaginal opening will make the sperms find leeway in your ovaries. That is why caution is important; you want to use protection like condoms or contraceptives to prevent any unwanted pregnancies.

No Is The Ultimate Safeword.

Keep in mind that you are entitled to your body and sexuality, for that matter. You are free to say no at any given moment if it gets too much or you or you get uncomfortable. Bireda & Pillay (2018) stated that open communication is one of the main aspects of a healthy relationship. Sharing your desires and needs is important even apart from sex, and your partner needs to respect your decision. This is your first time having sex, and things might go as not expected; be honest and there is always the next time.

Sex Is Not Everything

Everyone who has indulged in the pleasures of sex can testify to its pleasures and satisfactions. Everyone deserves a healthy sex life if that’s what they want. You or your partner might not be in the mood, or there is an infrequent failure on the sex front. You can simply decide that sex is just not doing it for you; moreover, there are many ways to display affection other than sex. Remember that sexual activeness is an important aspect of life, but it's not everything. Not initiating or participating in sexual activities doesn't mean the end of the world.

Conclusion

Know that you are not alone if you are worried about sex for the first time, which is completely normal. Feelings of anxiety will always be there, and you can deal with them. The important thing to note is that caution is a must if you want to pull off the first sex with no regrets whatsoever. It is important to consider using protection and contraceptives to protect yourself against unwanted pregnancies and the contraction of sexually transmitted infections.

References

Bireda, A. D., & Pillay, J. (2018). Perceived Parent-Child Communication And Well-Being Among Ethiopian Adolescents. International Journal Of Adolescence And Youth, 23(1), 109-117.

Curtis, V., Aunger, R., & Rabie, T. (2004). Evidence That Disgust Evolved To Protect From The Risk Of Disease. Proceedings Of The Royal Society Of London. Series B: Biological Sciences, 271(Suppl_4), S131-S133.

Heiman, J. R. (2007). Orgasmic Disorders In Women. Principles And Practice Of Sex Therapy, 4, 84-123.Qureshi, S., Ara, Z., Qureshi, V. F., Al-Rejaie, S. S., Aleisa, A. M., Bakheet, S. A., ... & Al-Bekairi, A. M. (2007). Sexual Dysfunction In Women: An Overview Of Psychological/Psycho-Social, Pathophysiological, Etiological Aspects And Treatment Strategies. Pharmacogn Rev, 1, 41-8.