How to Make Your Sex Life More Kinky
By Elena Ognivtseva
A large part of sexual enjoyment comes from anticipation, arousal and excitement. It’s not all about the friction. In fact, I would guess that the friction is just a tiny ingredient in the recipe for orgasm and sexual fulfillment. So, we should all be aiming to add more anticipation, arousal, tension and excitement into our sex lives.
Now , there are, of course, a million and one ways to spice up your sex life and your choices will depend upon your personal tastes and those of your lover. But how do you get your lover interested in a kinkier sex life? The advice below is applicable to both men and women:
Test the Waters
Regardless of how kinky, freaky and/or naughty you’d like your sexual experiences to be, it is crucial that both partners are completely comfortable. Therefore, the first step in making your sex life more kinky is to discuss various fantasies and scenarios with your lover. You might like to begin by talking about them as just fantasies, until you’re able to gauge how much, or little, as the case may be, this piques your lover’s interest. At the same time, it is a great idea to encourage your partner to open up about their fantasies.
A small side note on this, though. It probably isn’t a great idea to start discussing sexual fantasies in the very early stages of a relationship, unless you feel completely comfortable with the idea. Usually, divulging something as personal as your deepest fantasies requires a level of trust that can only be gained over time.
Start on a Small Scale
In the interests of comfort and building of trust, it is a good idea to start on relatively safe ground, such as using light bondage (blindfolds or handcuffs). This is especially true if, until now, you and your lover have shared a fairly conservative sex life, because the sudden introduction of weird and wonderful equipment and/or toys can be daunting.
You’ll be surprised how much small, playful additions to your bedroom activities can make a difference to your arousal and excitement. Simple things, that probably wouldn’t be classed as kinky by most people, such as feeding each other, licking cream or body paint off a lover’s body and a little role-play can all be incredibly arousing.
Always Listen to Your Lover
If you would like to continue exploring more adventurous sexual experiences and move onto even kinkier ground, it is absolutely crucial that you keep the lines of communication open between you and your lover. It is also vital that you listen to your partner. If there is something that he, or she, feels uncomfortable with, you should respect their opinion and not pressure them.
Moreover, if while exploring some new sexual territory your partner asks you to stop, do so immediately. It is imperative to maintain trust between the two of you – if this is broken, you can say “goodbye” to any future kinky experiments. Oh, and one last thing, whatever you choose to do and no matter how kinky you decide to get, make sure you’re staying safe both from physical harm and the risk of sexual diseases. Don’t do anything that could put you or your lover in danger.