By Ekaterina Mironova

On Sunday morning I received the very happy and exciting news that one of my best friends from uni had finally given birth to her baby girl. It seems like an age since she announced to us that she was expecting, and now after a long wait the baby is finally here. My friend often opened up to me about her sex life during her pregnancy and it was fascinating to hear all of the issues which her and her husband had gone through. So, the below post is inspired by her, and I hope that if you’re pregnant it eases your mind and gives you the confidence to maintain and enjoy an active and passionate sex life as your due date approaches.

It is very common for a woman who has always enjoyed an active and satisfying sex life to feel a little apprehensive when it comes to ‘getting busy’ during pregnancy. She can often worry about harming the baby, that her partner doesn’t find her sexy anymore, or that she may trigger off early labour. Ladies, the good news is that in most cases sex is absolutely fine and safe from the first few weeks of pregnancy right up to when your waters break. In fact some studies have shown that regular sex and orgasms during pregnancy can actually help to prevent early labour! If you have had a healthy pregnancy with no bleeding, complications or concerns then you are free to go at it like rabbits if you wish! However, if you’ve been diagnosed with placenta praevia (a low-lying placenta), a week cervix, if you’ve experienced abdominal pains or cramps or if your waters have broken then it’s best to discuss the idea of having sex with your GP or midwife first. But just to reiterate; there are no links whatsoever between sex and miscarriage or premature labour during an otherwise healthy pregnancy.

It is also important to note that sex will not physically harm your baby as s/he will be protected from infection and impact by your sealed womb and the fluid which the baby is surrounded by. You may feel your baby moving around a lot while you are having sex, but this is not due to the baby feeling any discomfort, it is due to your racing heart and is completely safe. Even if your partner is on top your baby will not be in any danger, however you may find this position to be uncomfortable. More on this later…

Another major concern which many pregnant women have is whether their partner will still find them sexy as their bodies begin to change. As with many things I think us ladies are worrying over nothing here. I’ve heard from many fathers-to-be who say that they fancied their lady more when she was pregnant than ever before, simply because of how amazing her blossoming body looked. When you’re pregnant your skin will glow, your hair will be shiny and thick, and your breasts will be larger due to the hormones racing around your body. So try not to worry about how you look to your other half and feel confident as your tummy starts to grow. Pregnant women are sexy…fact!

Aside from the way a pregnant woman looks, there can be many reasons for her feeling a loss of libido. Nausea, exhaustions and anxiety over being pregnant can all lead to a loss in sexual appetite. If this does happen don’t worry as it’s completely normal. Very few women will feel sexy and confident all the way through their pregnancy. The best way to tackle this situation is to keep the lines of communication open with your partner so that they don’t feel rejected. If you can manage it, try your best to maintain an open and loving relationship with your other half so that you don’t end up coming across sexual issues once the baby is born. Kissing, cuddling and lying in bed together work wonders.

Great Positions:

Even if you feel well enough for sex during your pregnancy and desirable enough to enjoy it, you may come across some issues concerning positions. If you loved missionary before you fell pregnant you may well feel unable to continue with the position as your bump gets larger. Similarly, if you loved deep penetration, you may find that this is simply too painful now.

Some of the best positions for safe and satisfying sex when you’ve got a bump to consider include girl on top, spooning, and a modified form of doggy. Girl of top is the position which many pregnant couples adopt as it means that the woman has total control of speed and depth, and there’s no weight on her abdomen. Your partner will also get a fantastic view of your body from this angle! Spooning is also a very easy and comfortable position to adopt and means that your belly is supported at all times. The depth of penetration is controlled in this position and your partner can easily kiss and massage your back as he thrusts. Doggy is also great as it takes the pressure off your pelvis; however it’s best to control the depth of penetration in this position by placing a pillow between your bum and his hips to avoid any discomfort from deep thrusts.

If you do experience any bleeding after sex be sure to mention this to your GP or midwife asap. It’s likely to be nothing at all to worry about, but it’s best to remain cautious.

Using sex toys during pregnancy:

Finally, a quick word on using sex toys during pregnancy. Many women wonder if it’s ok to use sex toys while they are pregnant. They often worry about introducing bacteria into the vagina and sparking off an infection.

Well the good news is that it’s completely fine to continue to use sex toys right up to the end of your pregnancy if you haven’ experienced any of the issues mentioned above such as abdominal cramps or bleeding. Just remember to wash your toys thoroughly, dry them well and store them in a clean and dry place.