SEX IN REAL LIFE VS SEX IN THE MEDIA
Have you ever watched a film and told yourself, "That doesn't happen in real life!" You want to mirror real life when you watch movies and TV shows though you know they are phony. Our brains desire authenticity and logic to accommodate the media we absorb, though movies aren't trying to do this; they try to entertain and make money from the audience. Consider how romantic comedies may instill inaccurate expectations in our first relationships or how a spy film may lead us to believe that a secret agent can rely on a gadget or a trick, no matter the situation.
Differences Between Sex In Real Life Vs. Sex In The Media
The world has evolved, and those who have never had personal experience with sex learn through pornography in movies and shows, and porn isn't a good teacher. It isn't made with teaching in mind; it is made to entertain and actualize imaginations, no matter how violent or obscene they may be. The sex depicted in today's porn is not healthy.
Media Sex Depicts Humans As Objects
Sex in the media conveys the notion that humans are objects to be used to fulfill sexual desires, relieve stress, and have fun. Individuals having healthy sex see each other's humanity and are selfless. D’Cruz (2015) stated that Sex might be a bonding experience when done healthy. Sex in the media depicts it as an act performed on a person, demeaning them and fostering a selfish sense of independence among the participants. Healthy sex is unified, and it considers the other person's desires.
Media Sex Has No Affection
Sex and affection are segregated in media sex. The pornographic world is regarded as an act of love in the mainstream; instead, it is defined as dominance and hatred. Healthy sex can be an act of love and passion between equals, deepening a relationship's intimacy. According to Miller et al. (2019), porn promotes the notion that sex is used as a tool or punishment, a risky and unhealthy situation. Healthy sex should be a regulated activity of compassion and affection but not something that causes pain.
Media Sex Is Spontaneous
Media sex is deceptive to sex in real life because it makes you believe that anyone could have sex at any time, with anyone, and enjoy it. It lowers communication, consent, and emotions that come into play when sex is possible. You should never include exploitation in the sex equation. Respecting your partner is essential as it enhances feelings. A lack of respect leads to wounded feelings and abuse, and violence. The media would have you believe that demeaning people isn't a big deal as long as you're having fun—or the people being humiliated enjoy or deserve it.
Media Sex Is Not Respectful
According to Scundra et al. (2004), a healthy conversation is non-existent in media sex. Name-calling, verbal abuse, and bullying are common. Talking during sex may be a mood killer in porn, but sharing preferences and dislikes promote healthier, safer, and better sex with your partner. The media gives you the freedom to do whatever you want. The rule doesn’t care how reprehensible—sexist, racist, abusive or illegal it may be, as long as it gives pleasure. There's no "harmless" fantasy in sex when we understand how entertaining these beliefs can influence our world perception. Consumers are on a dangerous and slippery slope by fantasizing about sex where anything is permissible and exciting. Avoid using sex to create a barrier between your partner’s values and what they feel safe and comfortable doing. It is how the media depicts sex. People don't have to check their values during healthy sex; they can see the ideals and feel safe and comfortable doing so.
The Media Faults The Female Orgasm
The misinterpreted aspect of media sex is the woman's constant orgasm with penetrative sex. Women rarely orgasm during penetrative intercourse in reality because, aside from their G-spot, a woman's clitoris is the organ that helps her orgasm. It's an organ that gets little stimulation during penetrative sex. That’s why 71% of people don't orgasm when having penetrative intercourse. Ladies in media are either lying or belong to the fraction of people experiencing orgasm during sex.
Sex In the Media Faults a Man’s Penis
The query about a man's penis is, "Is my penis big enough to please a woman?" You are misled by comparing your penis to men in pornographic films. Their penises are nine inches long, although the average penis is 5.54 inches long. The size of the penis doesn’t impact the feeling during vaginal intercourse. It is how you employ the tactics to make it pleasurable. However, massive penises may be abnormal and damage the cervical wall during penetrative sex.
Media Sex Has Unrealistic Sex Positions
Porn stars have sex in positions they may not employ in real life. They are interesting, although exaggerated. However, these positions are possible if you are a professional gymnast. Some may be bothersome or painful to you or your woman. A woman would be aroused upon stepping through the door or show her a penis if the media were real. Arousing a lady takes 10-12 minutes, while the study claims it takes 30 minutes. Don’t expect her to be aroused instantly the moment you touch her. Engage her in foreplay and employ sex toys to arouse her. According to Lhota et al. (2019), grooming before meeting your partner enhances attraction. Sex media doesn't mention the use of perfume. Your partner will be attracted to you when you wear cologne and spray your hair. In real sex, attraction is basic, and arousal takes time.
The Bottom Line
People view porn and believe that real-life sex is the same. These assumptions could destroy your sex life if you believe them. This article sets the record straight. A few things are not true regarding media sex and real-life sex. It would be depressing to watch sex on film if it were representative of real-life sex. It's important to recognize that it's okay if you're naive and influenced by media sex. Know that movie sex is not a blueprint for real sex. Avoid fantasizing or employing movie sex in real sex because it is unreal. Porn stars fake or pretends during sexual intercourse. Women rarely achieve orgasm in real sex; media sex is deceptive.
References:
D'Cruz, J., Santa Maria, D., Dube, S., Markham, C., McLaughlin, J., Wilkerson, J. M., ... & Shegog, R. (2015). Promoting parent-child sexual health dialogue with an intergenerational game: Parent and youth perspectives. Games for Health Journal, 4(2), 113-122.
Lhota, S., Roubová, V., Gregorová, V., & Konečná, M. (2019). Complex patterns of grooming and sexual activity in Barbary macaques (Macaca sylvanus). American Journal of Primatology, 81(9), e23040.
Miller, D. J., McBain, K. A., & Raggatt, P. T. (2019). An experimental investigation into pornography’s effect on men’s perceptions of the likelihood of women engaging in porn-like sex. Psychology of Popular Media Culture, 8(4), 365.
Scandura, G. (2004). Sex, lies and TV: Censorship and subtitling. Meta: Journal des traducteurs/Meta: Translators' Journal, 49(1), 125-134.