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What’s a Safeword? Learn The Basics To Kink Communication

What's a Safeword? Learn The Basics To Kink Communication

Safe sex is the best sex. Sex experts acknowledge that the secret to mind-altering, freaky and uninhibited sex is safety. Safety in sex does not only revolve around protection. It also includes the use of safewords. Using safewords during sex enhances security and freedom in lovemaking.

Safewords allow you and your partner to explore and reveal your hidden inner desires fully. Does using safe words sound boring to you? Incorporating safe words in your erotic intimate moments is the best way to spice up bedroom affairs.

What Is a Safe Word?

Safe words and BDSM play go hand in hand to ensure a safe space during the play. A safeword is a term or code used by bondage players to communicate their state; either emotional or physical. They are used to halt an act, when one feels uncomfortable or pain.

A safe word can be a part of everyday speech or not, and signals indicate the end of BDSM play. Safewords vary in different couples. Partners come up with ideas or words that suit their style and are easy to remember. Safewords are encouraged in BDSM play as it enhances safety, especially in extreme hardcore bondage play sessions.

How to Choose Safewords

When choosing a safeword, some common words are discouraged. For instance, using the word stop during bondage play can create confusion. The sub-partner might be teasing the partner playfully, and the play stops unexpectedly as the dominant thinks it's about to end. It can also lead to harm as your partner may not realize when you need to stop. Other words to avoid are 'no' and 'don't'.

Sex experts recommended picking safewords that are easy to remember. Simple short words are the best as they are easy to say even when restricted. Non-verbal safewords, signals, are used during bondage play where the sub is entirely restricted.

You can surf the internet to find the best words and signals. Couples should be creative and come up with safe terms that suit them perfectly. Ensure you talk about safewords with your lover before trying them out in your lovemaking sessions. Here are some popular basic safewords to use;

The Traffic Light System

Every beginner to safewords should try this traffic light system. It’s the popularly known form of safeword. The system is easy to remember even during hot intimate moments. Each color has a meaning and expresses your feeling to your partner. The traffic light system functions similar to how the original design works.

Red Indicates Stop

Altering red during bondage play means that your partner should stop immediately. This word is used when the sub is uncomfortable or getting too hot for them to handle without their consent.

Yellow(Amber) Indicates Slow Down

On the mention of amber, your partner needs to slow down a little bit as things are about to escalate. It's used to mean that you are approaching your limit or feeling physical discomfort.

Green Indicates Go

Using the green word means that you enjoy how your partner is handling you. It shows that you are free and comfortable with what they are doing, and you don't want them to quit.

BDSM Popular Safe Words

Safewords can be based on different things from celebrities, animals, foods to color and sports.


The use of fruit names as safewords is a common thing in most BDSM couples. Fruit names are easy to remember, especially when you use the name of your favorite fruit. According to survey, pineapple, apple, and banana are the most used fruit safewords. They are all used to mean that the sub is comfortable, so the dominant should continue doing what he is doing.


Saying the name of your favorite celebrity can be a quick way of halting BDSM play. Pick a name of a star that is easy to remember and agrees with your partner. In BDSM play, the name of the celebrity has no impact or relevance in your life.

Food and Drinks

Pick names of food and drinks that you like and are easy to pronounce. Your favorite beverage or snack can be an ideal word to halt the action in bondage sex. Food and beverages have a wide range of safe words and it's upon a couple to choose one that is neutral.


Avoid picking animal names that are related to a sexual situation, such as the tiger. Go for wise words that are popularly known. The animal kingdom provides a broad range of ideas to pick from. An ideal halt word can be that of an animal you fear most.


Sports names are excellent halt action words. Tennis, basketball, ping-pong, hockey, water polo, are examples of words you can use. Sport safewords are among the top safest as it's not common for couples to say the names between the sheets. They are neutral words and will bring everything to a halt.

Non-Verbal Safe Words

When the mouth is restricted, clapping, snapping fingers, or shaking the head can be used to halt action quickly. Tune humming, and whistling are distinct ways of expressing your feelings when you can't alter a safeword, especially in gagged bondage.

Using a Safeword During Sex

When you feel dizzy, nauseous, have sudden headaches, faint, or lightheaded, use a safeword. These feelings show that the body needs immediate check-up and help. Safewords help set automatic boundaries in BDSM play and enhance freedom in partners. They are essential in bondage sex play as they provide a fast, straightforward way for partners to communicate. They stop the act immediately whenever the sub feels uncomfortable or doesn't like the sexual behavior. Safewords also promotes sexual health, consensual, and safety.

The Bottom Line

Safewords are essential for safe sexual activities. Keep in mind that they are firm and decisive words that mean stop. Don't use a safe word for any occasion, as this breaks the safety protocol. Pick a safeword that is easy to remember for both of you. Take your sexual moments to kinkier levels by incorporating the use of kink safewords communication.