Dacryphilia Kink: Why Some Find Crying Attractive

Content Verification

Written by:✓

Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

Medically Reviewed by:✓

Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor

Fact Checked by:✓

Barbara Santini
Psychologist and Sex and Relationships Advisor

Ever heard of Dacryphilia? It’s one of those kinks that make you raise an eyebrow—until you realise how much emotion and intimacy are wrapped up in it. Simply put, some people find crying attractive—whether it’s the tears, vulnerability, or emotional intensity that sparks their desire.

This might sound unusual, but it’s just one of the 239 different kinks and fetishes people explore. Emotional arousal is a real thing, and for those with Dacryphilia, tears can be as alluring as a seductive whisper or a lingering touch.

So, why do some people experience sexual arousal from crying? Is this kink psychologically normal? And how do partners navigate it in healthy, consensual relationships?

By the end of this article, you’ll understand the psychology behind Dacryphilia, its variations, and how it works in relationships. Let’s dive in.

What is Dacryphilia?

Ever felt a strange pull when someone cries?Not out of pity, but something deeper—maybe even arousing?That’s Dacryphilia, a lesser-known but fascinating fetish where crying or tears trigger sexual desire. For some, it’s the raw vulnerability, for others, it’s the intensity of emotion—and for a few, it’s simply the sight of tears rolling down flushed cheeks.

Psychologists classify Dacryphilia as a psychological fetish, meaning it’s rooted in emotional and sensory triggers rather than physical touch alone. It’s not just about sadness; some find arousal in happy tears, acting, or even staged crying scenarios. The power of emotions fuels desire—and that’s what makes this kink unique.

There are different types of Dacryphilia, ranging from those who enjoy being the one crying to those who get aroused from seeing or even causing tears. But don’t worry—we’ll get into that next. Curious? Keep reading.

Types of Dacryphilia

Dacryphilia isn’t a one-size-fits-all fetish. It comes in different forms, depending on what triggers the arousal. Some people are drawn to the power dynamics, while others are captivated by the sensory experience of tears. Let’s break it down.

Dominant Dacryphilia

For some, there’s a thrill in eliciting tears from a partner—not out of cruelty, but as part of a consensual power exchange. Barbara Santini, a psychologist and relationship advisor from Peaches and Screams, explains:

"For those with dominant Dacryphilia, tears symbolise emotional surrender, creating an intense power dynamic. It’s not about inflicting harm but about guiding a partner into a deeply vulnerable space where emotions and arousal intertwine."

This type is often linked to BDSM dynamics, where controlled emotional release enhances the experience. Consent and aftercare are crucial to ensure safety.

Submissive Dacryphilia

Some people don’t want to cause the tears—they want to be the ones crying. They experience arousal from shedding tears and receiving comfort, feeling safe enough to express raw emotions. The mix of vulnerability and reassurance is what makes this form so powerful.

Katie Lasson, a sex and relationship advisor, states:"For submissive Dacryphiliacs, crying is a release, much like a cathartic emotional purge. Being held, reassured, and comforted in that moment intensifies intimacy and can be deeply arousing."It’s a way to feel emotionally exposed yet safe, strengthening the bond between partners.

Compassionate Dacryphilia

Here, the turn-on isn’t about causing or experiencing tears—it’s about witnessing a partner cry and feeling an urge to comfort them. There’s something profoundly intimate about seeing someone in their most vulnerable state and being their emotional anchor.

This form is often associated with empathy and deep connection. Seeing a partner cry can evoke a powerful mix of tenderness, care, and arousal, creating a unique emotional high.

Sensory Dacryphilia

Some people are aroused by the physical aspects of crying—the quiver of a lip, the redness of the eyes, the way tears roll down a face. It’s not about the emotion itself, but the aesthetic and sensory triggers.

Tatyana Dyachenko, a sexual and relationship therapist, notes:"Sensory Dacryphilia is purely physical. The tear-streaked cheeks, trembling voice, or even the way someone’s breathing changes during crying can act as powerful arousal triggers."

It’s similar to other visual and auditory fetishes, where specific stimuli evoke deep desire.

Psychology behindDacryphilia

So, why do some people feel sexually aroused by tears? Is it just a quirk of attraction, or is there something deeper at play? The psychology behind Dacryphilia is fascinating, revealing the complex ways emotions, power, and past experiences shape desire.

Emotional Intensity and Arousal

Emotions can be incredibly erotic. Passion, vulnerability, and raw expression create a heightened state of arousal, making everything feel more intense and intimate. For some, seeing a partner cry triggers a deep emotional connection, amplifying desire.

Barbara Santini explains:"Tears signal an unfiltered emotional release, stripping away pretence and exposing raw vulnerability. This deep authenticity can heighten intimacy, making sexual attraction stronger in those who crave deep emotional connections."

This explains why Dacryphilia isn’t always about sadness—even happy tears can evoke the same response.

Power Dynamics in Dacryphilia

Like many fetishes, Dacryphilia often plays into dominance and submission. Some people get aroused by having control over emotions, while others find pleasure in being emotionally vulnerable. The giver and receiver roles create a unique push-and-pull of power that can be deeply satisfying.

Katie Lasson notes:"Power exchange is at the heart of many kinks, and Dacryphilia is no exception. For some, seeing a partner in tears symbolises surrender, while others crave the emotional freedom that comes with letting go."This is why Dacryphilia often overlaps with BDSM, where controlled emotional expression is a key part of play.

Connection to Childhood Experiences or Trauma

Could Dacryphilia be linked to early life experiences? Some experts believe that past emotional associations with crying—whether comforting, distressing, or arousing—can shape adult desires. If someone grew up associating tears with attention, intimacy, or heightened emotion, it might explain why they find it sexually intriguing later in life.

However, it’s crucial to separate healthy kink expression from unresolved trauma. If a person’s arousal is tied to unhealed emotional wounds, seeking therapy alongside exploration can be beneficial.

Association with BDSM and Emotional Masochism

Dacryphilia shares common ground with BDSM, masochism, and emotional play. Some people enjoy the intensity of emotions, similar to how pain can heighten pleasure in BDSM. Others find that tears add an extra layer of submission, deepening the psychological aspect of play.

Tatyana Dyachenko explains:"Tears can be an emotional parallel to physical sensation. Just as some enjoy the sting of a whip, others find deep arousal in emotional surrender. The body responds to strong stimuli in ways that can be intensely pleasurable."

Ultimately, Dacryphilia is complex, blending emotion, psychology, and sensuality. But is it normal? Let’s find out.

Is Dacryphilia Normal?

When people hear about Dacryphilia, their first reaction is often confusion—or even concern. Is it common? Is it healthy? The truth is, while Dacryphilia isn’t as mainstream as, say, foot fetishes, it’s far from unheard of. Many people are turned on by emotions, vulnerability, and power dynamics, making this kink just another way humans explore intimacy and arousal.

The biggest misconception is that Dacryphilia is about cruelty or emotional harm. In reality, most people who have this kink enjoy it consensually and ethically. As Katie Lasson explains:

"Many fetishes tap into emotional triggers, and Dacryphilia is no different. The key is ensuring it’s explored with mutual understanding, communication, and care."

Like any kink, consent and emotional safety are crucial. As long as both partners are comfortable, there’s nothing “abnormal” about finding tears arousing. It’s simply another expression of human desire and connection.

Dacryphilia in Relationships: How It Works

So, how do couples navigate Dacryphilia in a healthy way? Like any kink, it requires open communication, trust, and clear boundaries. Whether one partner has the fetish or both enjoy exploring it, the key is to ensure it’s done ethically and consensually.

Talk About It First

Dacryphilia isn’t the kind of kink you just spring on a partner mid-conversation. Honest discussions about desires, boundaries, and comfort levels are essential. Barbara Santini explains:

"Discussing a fetish openly allows couples to explore it safely. Sharing desires without fear of judgment strengthens trust, ensuring that both partners feel respected and emotionally secure."

This conversation should include what feels arousing, what feels off-limits, and how to support each other emotionally.

Setting Boundaries and Practising Consent

Boundaries ensure that Dacryphilia remains a safe and enjoyable experience. Some people may enjoy acting out crying scenarios, while others may prefer natural emotional moments. It’s important to establish:

• What type of crying is arousing? (Real, acted, or controlled situations?)
• How far is too far? (No pushing beyond comfort levels.)
• What emotional aftercare is needed? (Soothing, reassurance, or a comforting ritual after play.)

Healthy Ways to Explore Dacryphilia

Not all expressions of this kink involve extreme emotional distress. Many couples find ways to incorporate it naturally into their intimacy:

• Watching emotional films together and discussing feelings.
• Role playing safe, consensual crying scenarios where one partner finds comfort in the other.
• Exploring BDSM dynamics where emotional vulnerability enhances arousal.

Tatyana Dyachenkosays:

"Dacryphilia doesn’t mean a couple has to seek out sadness. It’s about finding a safe space where emotional intensity fuels deeper intimacy."

When done right, Dacryphilia can strengthen emotional bonds, allowing partners to experience deeper connection, trust, and pleasure.

Ethical Concerns and Safety Considerations

Like any fetish, Dacryphilia must be explored ethically. The line between healthy kink play and emotional harm can get blurry, making consent and mutual understanding absolutely essential. Both partners need to be on the same page, ensuring that no one feels pressured, unsafe, or emotionally distressed beyond their limits.

Consent vs. Emotional Manipulation

Dacryphilia is about mutual pleasure, not causing real distress for personal gratification. Katie Lassonwarns:

"When a kink involves emotions, it's crucial to distinguish between consensual play and harmful manipulation. If one partner uses crying to guilt, control, or force reactions, it’s no longer healthy."

The Role of Emotional Aftercare

Crying can be intensely vulnerable, so aftercare is crucial. Whether it’s reassurance, cuddling, or simply checking in, partners should ensure that both feel emotionally supported after engaging in Dacryphilia.

When to Seek Professional Guidance

If this kink creates conflict, emotional distress, or disrupts relationships, speaking to a sex therapist or counsellor can help. Healthy exploration means prioritising well-being—always.

Final Thoughts on Dacryphilia Kink

Curiosity is natural. Maybe there’s a mix of fascination and uncertainty right now—that’s okay. Dacryphilia, like any kink, is about connection, trust, and emotional depth. It’s not weird. It’s not wrong. It’s simply another way humans experience desire and intimacy. Understanding it means embracing the beauty of raw emotion, vulnerability, and pleasure without shame. The world of kinks is vast, and every desire tells a story. Own it. Explore it. And never apologise for what makes the heart race.