DOMINANCE: DOES TOP SPACE EXIST?

During BDSM plays, two partners are majorly involved, the dominant and the submissive. The dominant partner, also known as the top partner, provides the bondage, while the submissive partner or sub, receives the pain and pleasure. 

Top space and subspace are also common terms in BDSM play. Subspace refers to the euphoric, physical, and mental state a sub assumes when under the control of the dominant partner. While in subspace, the sub experiences heightened sensations, dizziness, and incoherence. For many, the subspace creates a drunk or high feeling, where the pain disappears and is replaced with pleasure. On the other hand, top space is experienced by the dominant partner. While much is discussed about subspace, little is known about top space. This blog discusses more about top space.

What Is Top Space

 As used in BDSM, the term top or dom space refers to the euphoric feeling of riding and bringing pleasure to the submissive partner. During this time, the dominant partner aims to please their sub rather than be pleased. The dominant’s focus is enhanced, their sensations are intensified, and they get an out-of-body experience. Here, the dominant derives pleasure from the discomfort of the submissive partner.

What Does Top Space Feel Like?

Just like orgasms, top space is difficult to explain. The feelings vary from person to person, depending on experience. The euphoric feelings are linked to the secretion of endorphins and adrenaline, hormones that cause drug-inducing emotions with morphine-like highs. The dominant partner may feel the following when in top-space:

Deep Concentration/ Highly Focused

Most people who have been in top space admit to feeling hyper-focused on the play. They concentrate fully on what they are doing and how the sub reacts. The dom is alert, and they let go of their surroundings. All that exists at that moment is them, and their sub. They act without consciously deliberating on what they are doing. Doms can lose track of time and the world while in top space.

Powerful

Most doms confess that they feel powerful when in top space. They feel like the entire world was completely under their precise control and control the speed of the play, the type of restraints to use, and the positions to include during the play.

Heightened Sensations

When the dominant partner experiences top space, they are zoned in on their needs and desires. Watching the submissive partner being helpless intensifies the dominant’s sensations, and they get even more pleasure.

Primal

This is an animalistic feeling, where the dominant partner sinks deeper and gets more intense with the play. The doms get into ‘predator’ mode, where their main goal is to give and receive pleasure by all means possible.

More Aware of the Sub’s Responses

The dominant partner is alert to the sub’s responses during top space. Some admitted to feeling like they could anticipate the responses and reactions of the sub before their happening. They fully concentrate on the sub and notice even the slightest response.

Does Top-space Exist?

While no research can prove the existence of top space, the similar experiences described by some dominants during BDSM play can show that the top space exists. Some dominants have admitted to having experienced an out-of-body experience at some point in their bondage sex. They described the feeling of intense sensations, power, control, and the euphoric ‘high’ feeling. Most people have tried to explain these feelings,  but the common explanation is that releasing endorphins and adrenaline during BDSM play causes the euphoric feeling. Therefore, from the different experiences described by the dominants, it is right to say that top space does exist. 

Tips on How To Get Into Top Space

Getting into top or dom space is a unique experience for dominant partners. They get to experience an out-of-body experience with highly intensified sensations. Here are tips on how to get into the dom space.

Create the Mood with Your Submissive

Before the BDSM play, create the mood with your partner by role-playing, sexting, and dirty-talk.

Physical Foreplay with the Sub

Before getting deep into the BDSM play, start with foreplay. This may involve teasing your sub, spanking, or giving orders. This can prepare you for the play to heighten the sensations during the play.

Meditating Before the Play

Top space is mostly about the mindset and not the physical action. Therefore, to reach the top space, meditate and relax before the play. This will help clear your mind from outside stresses and daily worries and allow you to concentrate fully on the BDSM play.

Identify What Makes You Feel Powerful

Different doms are turned on in different ways. Some may be turned on by specific music, outfit, and vocals. Set the mood based on your fantasies and desires. For instance, if you are a dom who loves specific outfits, let your submissive wear such outfits. This is a key tip to reaching the top space.

Take It Slow

 Most people think that dominance requires roughness and high speed. However, taking it slow builds up the anticipation for both partners. Going slow also helps the dominant partner pick up on responses that they would otherwise miss if they were moving faster. This heightens the dom’s sense of focus and perception, allowing them to be in the moment and enjoy the play more. 

Is Topspace Dangerous?

Potentially, top space can be dangerous. This is especially the case when the dominant gets deep into top space and cannot control themselves. They may get lost and lose sight of the submissive’s safety. When the dom gets lost, they may not be responsive to the safe words and may end up hurting their submissive. Therefore, while in dom space, the dominant must always remain in control and protect the sub. The dominant partner can also pause the play, especially when they feel themselves losing control.

The Bottom Line

Subspace and Top space are common terms used in BDSM play. However, most people have experienced subspace. Although research doesn’t prove the existence of top space, most dominant partners admit to feeling the out-of-body experience, proving that top space does exist. Being in top space can be emotionally and physically exhausting; thus, aftercare is necessary. The partners should check on each other and communicate their feelings. Also, if you are interested in getting into dom space, use the tips in this blog for a more pleasurable BDSM play.