LGBTQ&A: EXPLORING YOUR BICURIOSITY

Have you ever been curious about having sex with a different gender? Are you interested in exploring your sexuality? Here is everything you need to know about exploring your curiosity.

Bi-curious is the term used for someone who has sexual relations with one gender but is curious about having sex with a different gender. According to van Lisdonk & Keuzenkamp (2017), the term is used to define heterosexuals curious about exploring same-sex sexual experiences.

Difference Between Bi-curious and Bisexual

Bisexual people are attracted to both men and women, and they make up more than half of the LGBTQ community. People who identify as bisexual know that they are sexually attracted to both genders, while those who identify as bi-curious may still explore their sexuality. Sometimes, bi-curious people eventually identify as bisexual. Other times, people who identify as bi-curious will learn that they enjoy sexual relations with one gender and identify as straight or gay.

Rules for Exploring Your Bi-curiosity

Exploring your bi-curiosity should be a fun experience and not a huge deal. Here is what you need to know and how to do it right.

Anyone Can Do It

Several individuals think exploring bi-curiosity means having sex with another woman. Maybe that's because it is seen as the most acceptable form of exploration in our society. In reality, any person of any gender can be bi-curious.

It's Okay To Explore Your Bi-Curiosity

You might be reserved about exploring your sexuality. Although it wouldn't mean that you are bisexual if you go through with the exploration, bisexuality is something that's badly represented. You might be afraid of being judged because bisexuality is often associated with sexual promiscuity though that's far from the truth.

Exploring Bi-Sexuality Should Not Be Just for the Sake of It

If you are contemplating having sex with someone of the same gender or the opposite gender if you are gay, you should consider spending more time thinking about whether you are bi-curious or not. You should not pursue the experience just for the sake of it. The only time you should explore your bi-curiosity is when you feel the urge of attraction.

Be Open-Minded

You need to go into the experience with an open mind. You shouldn't have any particular expectations. Many people that explore bi-curiosity lack some revelation about themselves during or after the act. It's best if you don't have expectations about how things will be. Expectations and pressure do not go well with sex.

You May Find Somebody to Explore With Quite Easily

If you are a straight man or woman looking to have a same-sex experience, you will find somebody to explore it with. If you are a lesbian, you will find a guy to sleep with because guys like the idea of being with a lesbian. If you are gay and want to experiment with a girl, you are lucky because many straight women are open-minded and understand the situation.

There are Pros and Cons Surrounding Who You Choose to Explore with

If you are trying to find somebody to explore with, you're probably wondering who you'll do it with or who you should do it with. Assuming you are a straight girl and hook up with a lesbian, you are more likely to have a satisfying experience. However, if you hook up with a fellow bi-curious girl, you can hold each other's hand through the experience and feel less insecure because you are both not experienced. You should explore with whoever you find sexy.

Ways You Can Prepare Yourself for Bi-Sexuality:

Educate Yourself

One of the best ways to reduce internalized shame and understand how your sexuality might not be stagnant is to educate yourself about sexuality. Sex education leaves a few things to be desired. Instead of discussing how sexual identity is formed, some sex education cases teach abstinence-only.

Talk to a Therapist

It can be helpful to explore your bi-curiosity in the safe space of therapy. You can talk through aspects of your sexuality that seem frightening with an LGBTQ+ affirming therapist. Talking to a therapist will give you the security of a confidential space where you can make your own decisions about what works best for you without pressure.

You Can Try it and Still be Straight

There's a notion that if you kiss a man once, you must be gay or bisexual. This makes it scary when you explore. If you experiment and don't like it, you may fear that people may wrongfully assume you're in the closet. You fear that rumors surrounding your sexuality will haunt you forever, but that might not be the case. If you conclude that you are straight after hooking up with a guy, you are just as straight as a guy who's never experimented. One sexual act doesn't define your entire identity.

Work on Reducing Internalized Shame

Exploring bi-curiosity isn't getting out there and doing it with another guy. Men need to understand that society is homophobic, and it shapes what is seen as possible for an individual. This means there's a need to explore how much reluctance might be attributed to cultural attitudes.

Move to Apps and Chat Rooms

Using apps and chat rooms for sex and video chat is a great way to explore how you feel about engaging sexually with someone before jumping into deep and scheduling your first hook-up. Levine (2013) defined sexting as the process by which one share sexually suggestive pictures and messages through mobile phones or media. Apps and chat rooms allow one to engage with other people sexually without doing anything in real life.

Start With Porn

You don't need to jump right into sex with someone. Porn is a great way to explore your desires in an accessible and private manner. As a starting point to act out your sexual fantasies, you can turn to pornography because it offers a safe way to explore, especially if you don't know how to go about it. There is plenty of porn that features bi-curious themes that can be a great starting point for getting a sense of what you like and don't like as explained by Weitzer (2009).  Purcell (2012) stated that porn is the perfect inspiration for a change in the sex scene. According to Nikunen (2007), you can watch porn for new sex techniques and positions.

Conclusion

Being bi-curious can lead to coming out. It could mean very little for some people, and for others, it could be the sexual gratification they need. Bi-curiosity should be an amazing experience for everyone. Forget about your reservations and enjoy yourself in every way you can because sex is fun.

References

Adults?. Journal Of Adolescent Health, 52(3), 257-258.

Levine, D. (2013). Sexting: A Terrifying Health Risk… Or The New Normal For Young 

Nikunen, K. (2007). Cosmo girls talk: Blurring boundaries of porn and sex. Pornification, sex and sexuality in media culture. Oxford: Berg, 73-87.

Purcell, N. (2012). Violence and the pornographic imaginary: The politics of sex, gender, and aggression in hardcore pornography. Routledge.

van Lisdonk, J., & Keuzenkamp, S. (2017). Towards bi-inclusive policies: Suggestions based on research on Dutch same-sex attracted young people. Sexuality Research and Social Policy, 14(2), 206-222.Weitzer, R. (2009). Sex for sale: Prostitution, pornography, and the sex industry. Routledge.