Content Verification

Written by:✓

Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

Medically Reviewed by:✓

Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor

Fact Checked by:✓

Barbara Santini
Psychologist and Sex and Relationships Advisor

By Ekaterina Mironova

Over the past month I've talked to quite a few women over sixty that are entering into new relationships since either their divorce or unfortunately the passing away of their husbands. Just because the menopause is usually over, there's absolutely no reason why women of this age shouldn't receive the release, the enjoyment and the intimacy that comes from a sexual relationship.

Another Name for Knee Knockers!

I mention women because men rarely display insecurities when sleeping with a woman for the first time, but as I pointed out to my trio of young at heart pensioners, they have bits that sag too! I let them know that the phrase "knee knockers" should be used to describe a man's testicles when he reaches a certain age, just because he doesn't have to compete with young virile gonad cleavage, doesn't mean to say he's not utilising a lot of support in his briefs!

The most common problem many women face when taking a relationship to the next level is their body, especially if this is the first time since their long term partner. In a marriage, couples grow together and seeing each other every day makes dealing with that extra wrinkle, the slow decline of the breasts or the less supple skin unnoticeable. Yet suddenly when presented with a new man, no matter what his age, an older woman will criticise every inch believing that he will do the same.

No matter what age a woman is everyone has insecurities and bits they want to hide, however this seems magnified when the menopause has come and gone. Sex is even more special as it takes a lot of courage to share but once it happens, it's really worth it.

Dive In!

When my trio told me that they were putting off sex as they worried about their bodies, I advised them to dive straight in. The man will have his own insecurities and will be concentrating on covering those up rather than finding flaws in your figure. There's a deeper connection between older people who have sex as it's not simply about lust (although this plays a big part) it's about trust, friendship, intimacy and so much more. Older women have the advantage over young ones as they understand the power of exceptional earth shattering lovemaking that only comes from complete and utter trust and respect for a partner.

Although the press is full of men fathering babies when past 90 years of age, most men over 50 do worry about their performance. Their sperm may still be capable of fathering a child but their penis often has other ideas. They will be often so engrossed in keeping the momentum going and making sure you enjoy yourself that they'll not notice a thing, and if they do, remember, unless they've been dating child free 20 year olds all their life (in which case, maybe step away) they've seen it all before.

The best advice I can give is to relax, take the pressure off, have fun and concentrate on giving pleasure. Use lubricant (a little in the right area beforehand ensures things go smoothly) and remember all those old tricks that made your previous partner go weak at the knees. If you want to have the lights off, go for it, once the first time is out of the way you'll soon gain enough confidence so you're swinging from that lightshade with ease!