THE IMPORTANCE OF TRUST IN BDSM

Do you love BDSM play? Do you know the importance of trust when engaging in this form of play? If not, find out more about the importance of trust in BDSM below.

Any idea about sex is subjective. Therefore, it is true to say that if sex is termed 'good' because of the body, then BDSM play is "good" because of the mind. The above statement suggests that sex deals mostly with the physical body, while BDSM play deals with the psychology of a person. However, that does not mean that sex and BDSM are the same. Several sexual activities accompany any BDSM activity, but the reverse is not applicable. 

Sex and BDSM can co-exist or be independent. In both cases, the acts are pleasurable and satisfying as long as they are done with a high level of professionalism. It may be confusing to differentiate between BDSM and sex because the relationship between the two acts is complex. Therefore, the element of trust is essential to keep the acts rolling smoothly. 

What is BDSM?

BDSM is an abbreviation representing Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism. There are several terms and interpretations of this abbreviation, but none is set in stone. BDSM involves several activities as explained by De Neef, N., Coppens, V., Huys, W., & Morrens, M. (2019). BDSM entails the exchange of power by two partners who have consented to the act. The important aspect of BDSM that is going to be discussed in this article is in domination and submission. The concept of trust is essential in BDSM relationships, more so domination and submission, for safe plays and comfort.

Why is Trust Important in BDSM?

Giving out control to someone else for them to take charge results in an unshakable intensity. Apart from trust, you also need confidence and bravery. This will entail making a bold statement and what you least expect is your partner breaking that trust you had for them. Nevertheless, being dominant also needs trust, confidence, and bravery. You will have to remember that your partner trusts you, and you have to reciprocate the ultimate gesture by respecting them. If you break your partner's trust in you for any reason, no matter how valid it is, you might lose everything. It is the submissive’s right to obtain your trust and not overstep the boundary. It is good to know that it is nearly impossible to earn back trust once you lose it. 

When it comes to sexual dominance, it is not always about demanding submission, but you need to earn it from your partner. The only way to earn your partner's consent is by being trustworthy to them as they are to you. This is a fundamental law, and there is no turning back once you break it. 

What Does Trust Look Like In BDSM?

Submission and dominance are often misunderstood by people who do not practice them. Partners in a dominant and submissive relationship are like two sides of a coin; they are equally dependent on each other. The only thing that connects them is the unshakable trust during BDSM play. Trust is the pivot that keeps them together and equal. The broken trust between partners mainly causes cases of abuse in BDSM. Apart from trust, respect matters in keeping the partners balanced and respectful. 

For instance, Christian Grey becomes the center of people's criticism in the Fifty Shades of Grey film. He disregards all arguments about poor people writing about characterization. In the end, Christian Grey breaks the trust. Because of this, his relationship with Anastasia Steele falls out of the question with real-life lovers of BDSM. Therefore, you should not try to relate such a character too well to a dominant.

Dialogue In BDSM

Depending on the nature of your relationship, any form of BDSM activity relies on communication between partners before embarking on them. Communication can be non-verbal or verbal. If it is top-notch, sex will be automatically better. Communication is crucial in BDSM plays to avoid the risk of injuries, pain, and discomfort. Emotions present in a BDSM relationship are stronger and more subtle than those involved in an ordinary relationship. 

The dominant and submissive’s emotions in BDSM play need support to avoid breakage at critical moments. Both partners need more analysis and a general understanding of each other, unlike in any other relationship. For the partners to reach a degree of unwavering trust, there is a need for constant and healthy communication between them. Trust is needed in this question to bear all of your partner's honest feelings, and it must be unquestionable and boundless. 

Trust Fosters Vulnerability 

Once trust is established between partners, they will open up to each other and communicate without restraints. When this happens, a person lets their guard down and focuses on using that trust to form a deep connection with the significant other. One way to achieve this is by allowing oneself to be vulnerable to each other. What evokes vulnerability depends on a person. For some people, vulnerability may be direct eye contact during sex. Trusting your partner to expose your vulnerable side is what is required for an effective BDSM play. 

The Bottom Line

Trust offers a balance between the submissive and dominant partner. The dominant never forces the submissive to do what is against their will. Trust allows them to be vulnerable in front of their trusted partner. If the trust is broken, it won't be easy to gather it back. 

References

De Neef, N., Coppens, V., Huys, W., & Morrens, M. (2019). Bondage-discipline, dominance-submission and sadomasochism (BDSM) from an integrative biopsychosocial perspective: A systematic review. Sexual Medicine, 7(2), 129-144.