5 SURPRISING BONDAGE TIPS & FACTS FOR CURIOUS BEGINNERS

When it comes to BDSM, you need to be cautious and safe. Below are surprising bondage tips and facts for beginners. 

The first thing that pops into your mind when it comes to bondage is BDSM. BDSM involves several activities, as explained by De Neef et al. (2019). BDSM stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. It is rather popular though not everyone is into actually trying it out. Some people are enthusiastic but have no idea where to start. BDSM is a somehow complex activity that requires a lot of knowledge. BDSM involves trust and consent. That is why you should discuss it with your partner before introducing it to your bedroom. If you are a beginner, here are some things to consider: 

What Good is BDSM To Beginners?

You might want to consider starting things small. Keep in mind that you have to be safe. Start with blindfolds during sex, and as you move, you can try bondage, but that's if you are good with knots to get the hang of things. Don't be hasty to spend your money on expensive BDSM gear at the store. Though they may seem unnecessary, you can be in for a rude shock after realizing that some things aren't doing it for you. Be creative in the house and recreate the available tools.

BDSM Ideas For Beginners 

You can try every other BDSM scene available, but choosing what works for you and your partner is advisable. Spanking is one tame way to start things off as a beginner before you can go wild into whipping and flogging. You can add some role play to make things more interesting. Here's what to consider in each part of BDSM.

Bondage and Discipline 

According to Richters et al. (2008), people in bondage and discipline are viewed as damaged or dangerous. Bondage is when you tie each other up but do this lightly for a start. For comfortable bondage, use neoprene or leather handcuffs. Blindfolds also apply as bondage. You can make it more interesting by muzzling them by using gags. Since you are a beginner, consider small gags as you make your way up over time. Some silicone ball gags are also designed with holes for breathing, while most are designed to be easy on the jaw. 

On the other hand, discipline in BDSM refers to physical and mental discipline. 

Dominance and Submission 

Mental restraint and power games can be quite seductive. You can simply imagine your man is in power. Though you are not bound by anything, you can simply assume the same position for a long period as you do as he asks. Just being submissive without bondage will make things sexy.

Sadism and Masochism 

A masochist is someone who likes receiving pain. However, there is a difference between good and bad pain. A sadist, however, is someone who enjoys seeing their partner suffering through stimulation. The energy that flows between the two without making contact makes BDSM more exciting in unimaginable ways.

Beginner’s Safety 

Safety is very crucial when it comes to BDSM. BDSM should be engaged with someone you know and trust emotionally and physically. You also want to prepare your partner emotionally and psychologically. Although BDSM is not dangerous, you want to be precautious and keen on safety.

Use Safe Words 

A common but curious tool used in BDSM is the safe word, as stated by Surprise, O. (2012). You can agree with your partner on a safe word like the colors on traffic lights to give different meanings. You can also go verbal. However, safewords are better since they are short and easy to remember. 

The dominant's duty is to check on the submissive and always heed safe words. This will make the experience better and safer. BDSM scenes can also make someone numb to the point of not being able to talk. In this case, a ball drop or bell can work in the place of a safe word. Apart from safe words, there are also other safety measures to consider. These entail not using bondage that is too tight to restrict blood flow. It should be something that can easily be cut off in an emergency. This is the reason why using scarves and ties is not advisable. Neoprene cuffs will do just fine for beginners.

Start Slow 

Don’t rush into things. You might want to try whipping from your man normally before you can do it while blindfolded. This way, you will be more comfortable the second time with a blindfold. Consider sticking to one fantasy at a time before switching things up. Trying BDSM for the first time can be overwhelming especially if you are submissive, so take one step at a time.

While in a BDSM scene, keep away from organs and vulnerable flesh when flogging your partner. Avoid the kidneys since they could be damaged; consider fleshy areas like the butt and thighs. Practice your aim on a pillow before whipping your partner when using whips and other floggers. This is to avoid the tail ends from hurting your partner.

Conclusion 

Remember that aftercare after a BDSM scene is very important. In this case, you can hydrate with a cup of coffee or cocoa. Cuddles, too are nice to calm down. For beginners, BDSM should not be intense. Things should be as tame as possible as you gradually switch things up. BDSM has no specific formula. You just have to understand your partner and work with their fantasy. It's okay if you don't like it at first or if it gets too uncomfortable at times. You can always stop and do it another time or just take BDSM out of the picture if it doesn't seem to be working for you.

References

De Neef, N., Coppens, V., Huys, W., & Morrens, M. (2019). Bondage-Discipline, 

Dominance-Submission, And Sadomasochism (BDSM) From An Integrative Biopsychosocial Perspective: A Systematic Review. Sexual Medicine, 7(2), 129-144.

Richters, J., De Visser, R. O., Rissel, C. E., Grulich, A. E., & Smith, A. M. (2008). 

Demographic And Psychosocial Features Of Participants In Bondage And Discipline,“Sadomasochism” Or Dominance And Submission (BDSM): Data From A National Survey. The Journal Of Sexual Medicine, 5(7), 1660-1668.

Surprise, O. (2012). Screaming Green: A Topography And Bourdieusian Analysis Of The 

Model Of Sexual Consent Utilized By BDSM Community Members. Indiana University Of Pennsylvania.