The Friend Zone: Another Example of Toxic Sexism

You've probably heard of the "friend zone" if you have access to a television or the internet or if you have a toxic relationship of your own. Herein is about the friend zone, including; why it is toxic, beings a person's friend, and men owing nothing to women.

Friend zone relates to something virtually everyone has experienced at some point in their lives: unrequited love. The idea of the "friend zone" is problematic since it leads to certain complex social prejudices. However, the notion has been broadened to include ladies, who can also be 'friend-zoned.' The word is most commonly associated with well-intentioned guys anxiously begging for the affection of their gorgeous crush, who will always be dating the charming douche bag instead.

What Does It Mean To Be In The Friend Zone?

Shields (2017) invented the term "friend zone" on November 3rd, 1994. He's been upsetting relationships across the world since then. According to Michael (2015),  a Friend zone is a type of relationship purgatory in which one person is emotionally or romantically interested in another, but the feelings aren't reciprocated. Instead, a simple friendship is formed, with one person feeling completely fulfilled while the other is less.

The 'friend zone' may appear benign and innocuous, but it is a profoundly terrible and toxic notion that one should abolish in society. Behind the affair lies a notion of self, reactionary traditionalism, and sexism, which, however subtly, can raise its head every time the word is said. It may be the inspiration for romantic dramas and humorous memes, but people may abandon the notion entirely.

Why Does The Friend Zone Appear To Be A Toxic Fantastical Space?

The 'friend zone makes males believe they have the right to humiliate women for their lack of interest, as Goldberg (2000) revealed. A woman is stringing you along if she doesn't put out, and that is fair. A lady can select who she wants to have a sexual or romantic connection with, and she is not the "bad guy" as society casually portrays her. the friend zone gives that person the power to disgrace a lady, turning her into a villain when she rejects or displays no interest in a person.

Being Someone's Friend Does Not Imply Romantic Rejection

"Let's be friends" is one of the most overused expressions since rejecting a romantic attempt does not always imply being friends. The bulk of these scenarios may be described as the 'acquaintance zone' or the stay-away-from-me-I'm-blocking-you-on-social-media zone.' There are exceptions, such as when one bosom friend has a secret crush on another and their relationship endures or when true platonic bonds emerge from thwarted romances. The fact is that for the majority of people, the only kind of relationship that remains is one of silent resentment and awkwardness. The assumption that love rejection invariably leads to friendship invalidates these types of relationships again. Friendship should not be a "compromise" or a "settlement." non-reciprocated attraction stems from the fact that two people don't get along in any way. "Let's remain friends," as a way of softening the pain, contributes to society's delegitimization of friendship and the belief that love is owed, as  Gelech & Desjardins (2011) showed. "Sorry, I'm not interested," spoken politely but firmly, would suffice.

Nobody Owes Someone Romantic Love

The real kicker is that the friend zone makes it seem like romantic love is something you acquire and then owe. You'll get the golden ticket to sex, love, and all types of affection if you're kind and compassionate enough. The 'friend zone' idea unwittingly contributes to components of rape culture by undermining an individual's entitlement to their sexual choices. We all know that romcoms would be labeled "heartless" and "cold" if they didn't conclude with the adorable geek obtaining the girl of their dreams. Look at it from a point of view. What if a woman appreciated a man as a pal but didn't find him attractive physically? A woman can consider a man’s constant approaches unsettling and wish to be free of him. A woman can also be uninterested in a man and let go of the relationship. A woman should not feel the need to defend her personal preferences in any way, shape, or form and maybe find herself on the receiving end of a barrage of criticism for refusing to date. People should never stigmatize someone for not being intrigued by another person if they genuinely want to live in a culture that values consent.

Men Owe Nothing to Women

A woman can enjoy kind gestures and be charmed by a man's look, but that doesn't imply she should leap at the chance to see or fuck him because he's polite. However, the friend zone has merely normalized and justified the notion that men might be upset when a lady wants to stay friends because no one loves to feel insecure. They are ready to laugh or make jokes even when a lady is hit on at a bar or is a victim of street harassment on the street. It's a two-way thing; you can't always be the victor. People are trained to feel bad for people who make wonderful gestures repeatedly to win a woman's heart. They're hailed chivalry by women who genuinely care about him but criticized by his buddies for being a loser who can't get the lady, whether it's good night texting every evening, bouquets for no reason, or constantly being accessible day or night. Consider what can happen if the roles are reversed. A lady texting a man every day gives him presents without prompting and is available at all hours of the day and night. A woman is labeled as insane or a clinger in stage five.

Being 'good' isn't being kind and kind to someone only to receive romantic adoration. Rejection does not transform you into a good guy martyr trapped in an imaginary friend zone; rather, moaning about rejection on these grounds transforms you into an entitled jerk who can't accept that someone isn't interested in you. The 'good guy' syndrome, along with its best buddy, the friend zone, excuses the employment of fake, conditional love to 'hunt' women by victimizing the men who engage in it.

References

Gelech, J. M., & Desjardins, M. (2011). I Am Many: The Reconstruction Of Self Following Acquired Brain Injury. Qualitative Health Research, 21(1), 62-74.

Goldberg, H. (2000). The Hazards Of Being Male: Surviving The Myth Of Masculine Privilege. Wellness Institute, Inc.

Michael, C. K. (2015). Perceptions Of Healthy And Respectful Relationships And Friend Zone Phenomena. Arizona State University.Shields, G. L. (2017). " A Place Where Every Decent Guy Will Find Himself Eventually": Delineating The Friend Zone As A Site Of Sexual violence (Doctoral dissertation).