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WHAT IS IT LIKE TO HAVE DADDY ISSUES

WHAT IS IT LIKE TO HAVE DADDY ISSUES

WHAT IS IT LIKE TO HAVE DADDY ISSUES

It is normal for someone to have daddy issues, making them behave with a fear of attachment. Some of the reasons that may contribute to one having daddy issues include; absentee dads, involvement of their fathers in their lives, and sexual abuse.

Some people have attachment issues resulting from the relationship they share or had with their parents, especially a father. The early attachment figures in their life play a bigger role in shaping how they will grow. It lays the foundation for how one will relate with others as a mature adult. It always has an impact, and it can either be negative or positive. Most daddy issues bring about the fear of attachment.

Underlying Reasons That May Result in One Having Daddy Issues

Sexual Abuse

The only people minors trust are their parents or the adults in their lives when they are young. Some of the close members help in rearing the children. It makes them vulnerable as they depend on everything to be done by them. Some parents or adult figures may take advantage of the child's vulnerability and cross some boundaries. Once the minors are sexually abused, their feelings may get complicated, and they fear trusting anyone. They may end up having childhood trauma and not believing in anyone anymore. A person should seek therapeutical help to help with such issues.

Unhealthy Bonds

Some girls grow up being their 'daddy's girl' and are always proud to say it aloud. It means that they are the favorite of their dads, or they love their father more than the rest of the family. Some people with daddy issues may have been brought up being spoiled because of this narrative. They will always look for such attributes in their new partners when getting to the adult stage. Some girls will end their relationships because they do not get the attributes they see in their fathers in their partners.

Absentee Dads

Some people grow up without the absence of their fathers in their life. They may be working far from home or not involved in their children's lives. Slade (2005) stated that fathers who are distant from their children physically create an emotional void in their children's minds. Some of them may seek validation or the presence of their fathers in the older men. They want that void they feel to be filled by someone because they miss the emotional love they would have gotten from their partners.

Problems Resulting from Daddy Issues

According to Parkes (2006), people who have difficulty bonding with their fathers do not have an easy time attaching to others. They become toxic to one another when they do. Their childhood issues tend to stay with them as they grow into adulthood. Some of the problems resulting from daddy issues include;

Being Attracted to Older Men

Some people are likely to be attracted to older men since they want to feel the protection, care, and love they missed growing up when they lack a father figure in their lives, as Samuel & Pryce (2008) stated. However, this may sometimes not work, and the power between them may be imbalanced.

Being Overprotective, Clingy, and Jealous

Clingy, overprotective, and jealous people are often worried that the people they are dating might leave them or not be present in their life just like their father did, as Engel (2003) noted. Such people are always anxious about what will happen next. They will get jealous whenever they see their partner talking to someone else or even suffocate them by always being clingy. This codependency may destroy the relationship because they fear being abandoned.

Constant Reassurance of affection and Love

People with daddy issues always have a fear of attachment. It will make you insecure every time, and you will constantly wish that your partner assures you that they still love and care for you. They may get tired of the constant reassurance and your need to feel them talking about how much they love you. They may push you away or end the whole relationship. This will make them feel that their greatest fear has become a reality and that they are unwanted and unloved.

Giving Impression That Sex Is the Only Thing You Care About

People with attachment issues always give the impression that they are only in the relationship for sex. Most of the time, they crave sex; this is the only time they feel loved and wanted. They tend to feel loved most when they engage in sexual activities with their significant other. However, they may get their hearts broken because a sexual connection does not necessarily mean the person loves them. They can exist without each other.

Fear of Being Alone

People with daddy issues would always prefer being in an unhealthy and toxic relationship to being single. When you get out of a relationship, you are always in a hurry to get into another one. However, these relationships are rebounds and may not last. It will always inhibit you from having a healthy relationship with people because you do not take your time to read through them and see if both of you are compatible or not.

Conclusion

Daddy issues are normal in this society. However, one should not carry it into another relationship with their significant other. You should first seek therapy before diving into a relationship. Failure to do this may hurt your partner's feelings and yours. Talk to a therapist and unpack every little thing you feel makes you have daddy issues. Learn how to deal with them and heal on your own. You can talk to your partner about daddy issues affecting you to help them understand you. Society must accept that daddy issues are part of human life and can affect anyone. Let the issues stay in the past as you cannot change them but make sure you live in the present. The best way to do this is by not letting the daddy issues affect your relationship with other people.

References

Engel, B. (2003). The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How To Stop Being Abused And How To Stop Abusing. John Wiley & Sons.

Parkes, C. M., Stevenson-Hinde, J., & Marris, P. (Eds.). (2006). Attachment Across The Life Cycle. Routledge.

Samuels, G. M., & Pryce, J. M. (2008). "What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger": Survivalist Self-Reliance As Resilience And Risk Among Young Adults Aging Out Of Foster Care. Children And Youth Services Review, 30(10), 1198-1210.

Slade, A. (2005). Parental Reflective Functioning: An Introduction. Attachment & Human Development, 7(3), 269-281.

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