WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU HAVE A HIGHER SEX DRIVE THAT YOUR PARTNER
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU HAVE A HIGHER SEX DRIVE THAT YOUR PARTNER
It is normal to find partners who do not have a balanced sex drive. Some things you can do when you have a higher sex drive than your partner include; accessing the stressors, working with a sex therapist, and getting some solo time.
The probability that partners will always have the same sex drive is minimal. It is because one's libido rises and falls every day. It will then be difficult to find someone who matches their sex drive with their partner. Your sex drive may be high, and your partner may be low. Different sex drive is one of the issues couples face; if not taken care of, they can turn to bigger issues. A person with a higher libido will feel like their needs are not being met and that they are being ignored. The ones with lower libido tend to be stressed and frustrated by the fact that they cannot be able to meet the needs of their partners. Both sides get affected, and one must devise ways to bring the fire back into the bedroom. Some of the things that you can do when you have a higher sex drive than your partner include;
Accessing Their Stressors
Before discussing your intimacy worries and issues with your partner, try to find out what your partner is going through first. You are likely to find out that their libido has fluctuated because of the stress they are going through. Work demands, financial strain, and family responsibilities may bring some of the stress.
Consider finding ways to relieve the stress off your partner if you notice their sex drive is low because of their stress. You should communicate with your partner and show support to them. It will help relieve the stress and bring back their mood, and their sex life is likely to improve because of the support they feel. Be consistent with the support, and you will notice the change in your sexual life. Help your partner seek therapeutic advice if stress escalates into depression. Stress and depression may lead to low libido. Low libido is harmful to a relationship.
Rate Both of Your Sex Drives
According to Ben-Ze'ev (2004), communicating with your partner will make you understand each other's sexual life. Both of you can rate your sex drive and explain themselves. If you feel like your sex drive is higher than your partner's sex drive, talk about why you think that and what you would want your partner to do to accommodate them. Communicating with your partner will allow them to find ways to meet you halfway when engaging in sexual activities because they are in a position to see things from your perspective. Communication in a relationship also helps partners learn their sexual desires, where to touch, how, and when during sexual activities.
Expand Your Sex Definition
Cameron & Kulick (2003) stated that sex does not necessarily mean that it has to be through penetration and that the end goal is orgasm. Get to learn more and expand your definition of what pleasure entails. Ensure you have a write-up on what you enjoy doing when having sexual activities. Share the list with your partner to be on the same page. You can start with the lower things, then go to the most serious ones on your list because you have a higher sex drive. Both parties can enjoy when engaging in sexual activities by doing this.
Get Some Solo Time
Being in a relationship does not necessarily mean it is your partner's main responsibility to please you. Get out of their one and find ways that you can please yourself as well. However, working on the bonding and intimacy with your person does not necessarily mean you forget to work on the intimacy with yourself. Consider putting too much pressure on them to make you feel great. Some ways you can work on building intimacy with yourself include having a full body massage and even finding some me-time to masturbate with your sex toys or just hands.
Get Therapy
Talking about intimate things with your partner may be difficult. A man may feel pressured by your expectations and get frustrated. The best thing would be to seek a sex therapist and discuss your issues. They will help and guide you on how they can reach both of your goals together without one feeling like they are being looked down on. You may get that the issue may be that you were never open with each other when you started dating, which brought up the snowball in your relationship. According to Kleinplatz (2013), you should get a sex therapist and find ways in which you can navigate both of your mismatched libidos. It can help attain mutual sex drive if both partners take the advice.
Throwback Dates
The issue with the mismatched libidos may be solved by returning to how the both of you started dating. You have to go back to the basics. Break the routine you set for yourselves and return to the dating scene again. Bring back the fire that you once had when you started dating. Go to dates and try hooking up at your favorite joints back in the days. Eastwick & Finkel (2008) suggested that you could create some time with your partner and build the desires they had when you were wooing them. It will help you build an intimate connection with them.
Conclusion
Having a higher sex drive than your partner is a normal thing. However normal it is, one should always try and find out ways they can match their libidos with their significant other. Be sure not to put so much pressure on them as they may get frustrated. The best thing in this position would be to talk with them and find ways to meet halfway, and both of you will get pleasured. Try out the different instances highlighted in this article and get to bring the spark back into your life.
References
Ben-Ze'ev, A. (2004). Love online: Emotions on the Internet. Cambridge University Press.
Cameron, D., & Kulick, D. (2003). Language and sexuality. Cambridge University Press.
Eastwick, P. W., & Finkel, E. J. (2008). Sex differences in mate preferences revisited: Do people know what they initially desire in a romantic Partner?. Journal of personality and social psychology, 94(2), 245.
Kleinplatz, P. J. (2013). New directions in sex therapy: Innovations and alternatives. Routledge.