WHY DO YOU KEEP ATTRACTING ASSHOLES?
Most of the time, you have fallen into the trap of attracting assholes. Some of the reasons you keep attracting assholes include; the thought that you can change them, you may be a little desperate, and they are very hot.
Most people have fallen into the trap of falling for assholes who break their hearts and make them heartbroken and not believe in love again. Most of the time, you can always sense that they are assholes, but you don't want to believe it, and you end up giving the relationship a try, and the results are catastrophic. The sense of adventure within them drives you, and you already enjoy the drive you are taken to. Some of the reasons why you may be attracted to these assholes are;
They Are the Opposite Gender Version of You
It is believed that the opposites always attract and end up together. However, this can also be wrong at times. Lanchester (2017) explained that some alike people also end up together. You are attracted to the asshole, maybe because both of you feel like you are alike in some way and would want to try and make things work. Most of the time, this type of relationship will be toxic because both of you have the same characteristics, and you may not want to change because pride is getting in your way. The only good thing will be to break it off or change your ways as you will always be in difficult situations together.
You May Be Feeling Lonely
Polner & O'Grady (2018) explained that people sometimes want to feel cuffed up as they want to feel the presence of someone in their life. By doing so, they make themselves be in a hurry and end up choosing the wrong people that can be so toxic in their lives. Just because you are single does not mean that you need to have toxic people in your life. The best thing would be to throw their existence in the sewer gutters and wait for someone worth your while. Rushing to be with someone will always blind you to the type and character of the man, and you will always choose assholes who do not care about you.
You Have the Feeling That You Can Change Them
Kushner (2019) explained that get it out of your mind that you can change a person by loving them as this is never the case. Assholes do not change unless they want to, not because you tell them to. They will play by your script, and you will get hurt. Please eliminate the fact that you will be telling stories of how you were able to change them. They never do; if they do, it is just for a time until they return to their ways. You should save yourself from such thoughts and trouble and find some that will be worth your time.
You May Not Be Ready to Settle Down
As much as it pains to accept this fact, it is always true that some people do not want to settle down, so they go through the corners to find someone like them. Most of the time, you will find out that the assholes they choose will break their hearts but still go back to them or choose another cut from the same cloth and date them. It is because some of the not assholes want to settle. The assholes are the ones who want to have a crazy life like the one you have, and this makes you get attracted to them even more, even if they are always breaking your heart.
They Are Very Hot and Handsome
Everyone is always attracted by what they see at first sight. It may be beauty or just how the person carries it. Most assholes are very handsome and have a very good way of soothing their partners to make them fall for them just by their looks. It, however, should not make you fall for the trap. Being hot and handsome does not mean they have a good heart. Once you give them a chance, their looks will boost their ego, and they will likely be jerks with you. They will not put so much effort into getting to please you because they feel that whatever happens, they will still get to have you because of their looks. On the other hand, you are always afraid of leaving because you are attracted to them.
You Have Become Desperate and Feel Pressured
Rankin (2020) explained that it is normal to be surrounded by friends who are married to great people who do good unto them, and you can see that their life is flourishing. The pressures of society that you should be married and start having kids will always push you to choose anyone who shows interest in you without even looking at their character. You will always be blinded that they are good people, and because you are desperate at this time, you will choose people who are just assholes. It is always great to live your life and find someone that complements you and not be desperate for a relationship with these assholes.
Conclusion
Once you feed the egos of these assholes, you are always guaranteed to find it hard to protect yourself from attracting such people. You will always attract them because they sometimes see you as an easy target. It is because you keep on putting up with them anytime they get through you. It is always best to know your value and stop entertaining them. However, we are all prone to make mistakes; you should learn from them and not repeat them. This way, you will know that they do not deserve you and that you must protect yourself from them. Let them be intimidated by you and your values, and they will have a hard time trying to woo you.
References
Kushner, R. (2019). Is prison necessary? Ruth Wilson Gilmore might change your mind. The New York Times, 17.
Lanchester, J. (2017). You are the product. London Review of Books, 39(16), 3-10.
Polner, M., & O'Grady, J. (2018). Disarmed and Dangerous: The Radical Lives and Times of Daniel and Philip Berrigan. Routledge.
Rankin, L. (2020). Mind Over Medicine-REVISED EDITION: Scientific Proof That You Can Heal Yourself. Hay House, Inc.